How do I help him?

How do you help a Capricorn man recover from a divorce?

I work part-time and am in school but would getting a job with more hours help?

We can't be together yet because the divorce isn't final, there is a custody battle.

I've known him for over 14 years.

We were high school sweeties who got lost.
I want to help him feel safe and know that I won't treat him like his ex.

We never got to be in a relationship..it was bad timing or something else.
I feel like we've been making the same mistakes again and again over the years.

He hates being alone and I give him tons of space but I don't know how too much space is because he fears abandonment.
I initiate every conversation though. I've left him alone for the holidays as he still lives with his family.

We don't have a physical relationship.

I haven't had a physical relationship with anyone since we started talking again! And as you can see, I am a Scorpio.

Do you feel my pain?

Been reading your posts guys and it sounds so much like him. I am so glad that I'm not alone!lol Was beginning to think that I'm crazy and imagining things, and crazy for waiting and hoping all this time. I wish I had given more detail, maybe tomorrow. I really love to hear the scorp/cap interplay in other peoples words. It's is so true! It's amazing too..we can't ever seem to stop thinking of each other, "though miles and years may separate us" is how I always put it.

I don't do this often but here goes . Its hard for me not to be a smart ass. Give him lots of space let him work most of it out himself. By space I mean mental space. you can be there around him you can help him but let him think it out and come to his own decisions.
Good luck

You have a huge problem, Cap is going to cling to that marriage way after it's over, cap men hate to fail so he's most likely still trying to make it work, he will not tell you this but Cap men hate to lose so I'm sure he's still trying to fix it to the bitter end.

You help him by not helping him. He doesn't need your help or your support and if you tried to give it he would resent it. The best thing you can do is focus on your life, love yourself and go out and date and have a bit of fun to shift the vibe from worried to relaxed.

PATIENCE and plenty of it. Right now he's emotionally financially and most likely physically tied up with this woman, his abandonment issues most likely has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her and thus there really is no room for you no matter how much he tells you it is.

Don't allow yourself to be second or he will never respect you. The best you can do is show little to no emotions because emotions is a sign of weakness, showing emotional control is a sign of strength and that is attractive, don't wait for him, go out and LIVE your life, this will work for you and not against you because the way your behaving now is going to lead to disappointment and heartbreak.

He's not available, be friendly but don't put all your eggs in one basket, there is no telling how long it will take him to get over this failure and until that divorce is final he's still married and he's most likely still trying to work it out with her.

Hey SC! When I need a break I will disappear and come back, can't stay away from this place for too long an glad to see your still happy with your cap, they are so precious aren't they?

—How do you help a Capricorn man recover from a divorce—

You??ve got your work cut out for you!!!! For one dating a divorced man is tricky, I had to learn that the hard way. Although I don't doubt the guy I dated cared for me, he was never emotionally there since he was still healing from his divorce.

Back to Capricorns??_

—You have a huge problem, Cap is going to cling to that marriage way after it's over, cap men hate to fail so he's most likely still trying to make it work, he will not tell you this but Cap men hate to lose so I'm sure he's still trying to fix it to the bitter end.?? Tiki nailed it!! Caps usually hate to fail, and this includes serious relationships since we tend to see them as a reflection of us/what we may have done wrong/a failed goal (of course this is not a guarantee and there are exceptions to every rule). Even if we are not happy in the relationship, we will usually try everything to make it work, one reason we take our time in entering new relationships. We don't enter into them or take them lightly.

My ex cappy fianc? who I dated for 7 years is still trying to reconcile and we broke up 5 years ago (in fact as I am typing this he is calling me on my cell). If you decide to pursue this relationship, you??re in for one hell of a ride so hold on tight.

To your original question, be there without really being there. Give him his space, but be available.

Thank you all! What you have said makes so much sense. I left the door open by letting him know he can call if he needs me, but the day before Thanksgiving I spoke to him for the last time to date. This was planned and I had previously told him of my intention to keep silent during the holidays. He has a wonderful young son and I did not want to add to the stress of the situation during the holidays. This was difficult because we had become closer and I did not want him to feel that I was abandoning him. It felt like the right thing to do though.

Our progress has been like a glacier. You are right about him trying to work things out. A big problem is that his wife wants to move far away with his son. A little over a year ago she ran off and basically kidnapped him. She was gone for nearly a year and was in hiding until he found her and begged for his son. His worst fear is losing him again. They never had a pretense of love for each other. He married her in a haze of despair, and she saw him as a convenience. That can't be undone but as long as she promises to move, he is in constant fear.

I do try to stay busy and not lose my head over him, but there is no hiding that he is all I see as a future for me. Neither of us make much money at all. I think that maybe in the next phase of things that may cause him to question moving forward. I don't think that that is something he consciously thinks about, but will it subtly effect the momentum of things? I've heard that financial stability is very important to Caps.

I'm focused on school and am not being very financially ambitious, though I support myself. I do plan on digging in for the long haul (well it's been quite a road already) I am close with some of his immediate family and am allowing that to be our only connection until he contacts me. It's easy for him to know what is going on in my life without speaking to me. So what should I do to make him happy when he hears their news? I want to impress him and show him through my actions and decisions that he can depend on me. Not like a child or sugarmamma of course, but as a counterpart in every aspect of life.

I know that our past failures are due to my lack of understanding of what his silence meant. I was impatient and couldn't trust him. We've talked about each event and past misunderstandings. We know each other better now and I'm so grateful for that and for the stories I've read here!

Thanks to the Cappies here who have opened up and shar

tiki 33 we only consider failing if we fail. We do understand that we can do everything right and still fail. in those cases we get over it.