How Would a Cap Male React?

My friend has been goo-goo over a Cap guy she works with for a few months now. She is SOOO excited,
because he has finally asked her out! (He was watching her for a while.)

Their big first date is supposed to be next month (he travels). My friend has had some major personal
issues come up, and she thinks that -- as much as she digs this dude -- she should wait a bit until
everything is squared away before she goes out with him or anyone else. (Getting her shit together may
take a couple of months. ) Actually, this is a very mature stance for her to take (very rare for her, too)
and I agree with her.

She is afraid that the guy will just blow her off and never ask her out again, although she says that
she is confident that he really likes her. My experience with Cap males is very limited, so I don't know
enough about them to advise her.

What do you guys think? Cap guys are supposedly VERY patient. That said, this guy is popular and very
"social." She doesn't think he's a player, though. If he likes her, will he wait a bit longer
or just move on?

Thanks. 🙂

You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.

Posted by StoicGoat
You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.

That may or may not be true. At any rate, it's just a platitude. Is that the best you can do? 🙂

It is most assuredly true. That is not to say that a first impression cannot be overcome, but it can never be replaced.

As with all words, the meaning they hold is different for each person. There is much wisdom in the above adage which, based on what you've shared, is directly pertinent to your friend's situation.

My impression from mature Cap guys I know, (luckily there are a couple) is if she is honest and very explicit about this issue he will be a gentleman and respect that.
Definitely.
Nothing they like better than a gal with her shiz together, would probably even work in her favor.
That's if he is looking for something serious. If he's had his eye on her for a while I think that may be the case.

You know, if it was me, I would do this over a coffee.... This is just to let him know I am not blowing him off entirely with out the pressure,of a 'first date'.
But use it to explain where I was at and give him a logical timeline, and let a Caps famous ability to read people a chance- in person he would pickup if she was playing games or for real...

My view is a little different...I think that if she tells him she has some issues she has to deal with before even going on their first date is going to come off dramatic to him. Most Cap men are emotionally stable and he may find it a turn off that shes already bringing baggage to the table. That's not to say Cap men do not have issues, they are just better about hiding it. If you could maybe briefly describe what personal issues she has that are interfering with her seeing him, maybe I'd have a better understanding. I do think he will respect her for being honest, but I do not think he is going to wait around...nothing has even begun between them, so he has nothing to lose.

Posted by Eula
My view is a little different...I think that if she tells him she has some issues she has to deal with before even going on their first date is going to come off dramatic to him. Most Cap men are emotionally stable and he may find it a turn off that shes already bringing baggage to the table. That's not to say Cap men do not have issues, they are just better about hiding it. If you could maybe briefly describe what personal issues she has that are interfering with her seeing him, maybe I'd have a better understanding. I do think he will respect her for being honest, but I do not think he is going to wait around...nothing has even begun between them, so he has nothing to lose.

Doh! This makes sense too... Hmmm, more details would be good, yes.

Posted by wagtail

Posted by Eula
My view is a little different...I think that if she tells him she has some issues she has to deal with before even going on their first date is going to come off dramatic to him. Most Cap men are emotionally stable and he may find it a turn off that shes already bringing baggage to the table. That's not to say Cap men do not have issues, they are just better about hiding it. If you could maybe briefly describe what personal issues she has that are interfering with her seeing him, maybe I'd have a better understanding. I do think he will respect her for being honest, but I do not think he is going to wait around...nothing has even begun between them, so he has nothing to lose.

Doh! This makes sense too... Hmmm, more details would be good, yes.

click to expand

A couple of years ago, her last BF died unexpectedly: he just dropped dead. She hasn't been on a date since because
she hasn't been ready to.

She has been in a depression, I think. Her personal life is a mess (literally and figuratively), but she is working on getting it together. In fact, I have finally convinced her to go into some intensive therapy to work on all of her "baggage." She has had a rough life, suffering countless traumas that most people only read about in fictional stories. Her "saga" isn't really the issue; it's the fact that none of that stuff has been processed. She now "gets"
that she can't go on stuffing things down forever because it IS affecting her life in various ways.

As I said before, I think it is very mature of her to take the bull by the horns, so to speak. I am proud of her.

Posted by Eula
My view is a little different...I think that if she tells him she has some issues she has to deal with before even going on their first date is going to come off dramatic to him. Most Cap men are emotionally stable and he may find it a turn off that shes already bringing baggage to the table. That's not to say Cap men do not have issues, they are just better about hiding it. If you could maybe briefly describe what personal issues she has that are interfering with her seeing him, maybe I'd have a better understanding. I do think he will respect her for being honest, but I do not think he is going to wait around...nothing has even begun between them, so he has nothing to lose.

From what she tells me, I gather that he is emotionally stable BUT he does create drama. In fact, that is the only
"negative" thing she has said about him. Since I have my own eye on a Cap guy, I have read a lot online about them. I keep reading that they create drama while professing to hate it. In your experience, is that true?

As a Cap female, I despise drama -- especially when it is self-induced (usually it is). But my friend has just had
this incredible "bad luck" streak that has lasted most of her life. Losing her BF was just the last in a series.

Why should she sort out her butter first?

For the rest of us, meeting a Capricorn male is when real butter begins.

Posted by Undine
Why should she sort out her butter first?

For the rest of us, meeting a Capricorn male is when real butter begins.

Haha! I hear ya.

She isn't happy with her current disorganized state (which is a good sign) and wants to get it together before going
out with this guy, whom she really likes. Also, she wants to make a good impression on him, and when your place is
a mess you aren't gonna impress a Cap guy. Most importantly, though, I think she wants to be stronger, which in turn
will make her feel better about herself.

She really likes him and thinks this has potential. I think underneath it all she doesn't want to blow it. As someone
said earlier in the thread, one only has one shot. I agree with her that it would be much worse for her to take a risk
and mess things up than to just wait til her act is together.

Posted by cowpuncher
I will also add, I normally don't find it wise to date where you work. Caps seem to have a reputation for it, but I've never done it. Too many chances of something going wrong, and if it does.. you're stuck in close proximity to the ex. ewww.

Hi Cowpuncher. Good points all!

He is retiring in a month or so, so the fact that they work together won't be an issue. It really isn't an issue
now, though, because as I said he travels a lot.

Thanks for your input. 🙂

This morning she tells me that she has decided not to go out with anyone --- including him --- for the next
year while she works on herself (and wraps up school). She actually sounds much better, and she says that
she's happy with her decision.

She plans to tell Mr. Cap the truth: That she is flattered but must decline, that she isn't going out with
anyone for the next year while she finishes school. She is confident that there is plenty "there" so that
if he's still available in a year he'll be back; otherwise, she is OK with him not coming around as well.
She is hopeful that they can be "friends" and maintain contact while she progresses in therapy.

She sounds so much more relaxed; I think this is a good tack for her to take. I hope for her sake that he
is understanding.

Thanks for the replies; they made for an interesting discussion. 🙂