Is this Normal Cap Behaviour —

As you see from my name...I am not sure what I am dealing with here...so I come to you for some help from the sag board...I am a sag...dating (or so I think) a man who is a cap...we have known each other for some time..went our separate ways for a bit and now are hangin out again...Here is where the confusion comes in..we have been hanging out for about 5 months now..things have been ok I guess...Just last week...his behaviour went crazzzyyy....I was away on business for 3 weeks and did not see him...came back..saw him one day..had a nice time..and pretty much since last week did not talk to him...I woudl leave him a message..he 'd return a call a day later at a time when he knows I am not going to answer...I call back he does not answer adn returns a call a day later....yesterday when I did talk to him..it did not seem to have fased him at all that nor did I see him , I did not even talk to him for like 4 days....could he be cheating..or is this normal for a male cap — to dissapear...I read some boards and I guess it's normal...but I just do not know whether me telling him that this is crazy would make any difference...
What am I dealing with here...Are Cap men really monsters when it comes to reliabiltiy...commitment and honesty with their feelings and are they really insensitive to other peoples' feelings......
HELP

They just haven't got a clue what they want..join the rest of the cap bandwagon..I am sure it'll pass...

First of all, when it comes to relationships, Cap men dont have any sense of time at all. What is two days to us seems like a couple hours to them. They are so caught up with things and time just passes them by. They don't do it intentionally. Just as missmorals said, it will pass. I wouldnt necessarily jump in there and suggest that he's cheating on you, anything is possible tho. Sometimes they want to spend lots of time with you, then they back off for a while and have there own time. It just depends on how much you can deal with regarding these men. You have to put a lot of time and patience into them. Sometimes it feels as if your doing it for nothing and sometimes you get something out of it. It just depends on how hard you want to try.

They really care about ur feelings, so don't think that he doesn't. He just doesn't realize that what he's doing is hurting you and bothering you like it is. They don't see our views on things.I would just wait it out for a while. When u do talk to him, confront him and ask him what's going on with him and go from there. The best way to find out is to ask him straight up. They like that.

yup, sounds about right. My guess is that he missed you, and doesn't know how to express himself...but be warned that the Sag/cap combo is hard, unless both of you have a lot of other stuff in you. The cap does everything slowly and carefully with a lot thought, the Sag on the other hand, jumps right into life...my advice, forget everything you think you know about men, these guys are totally different.

Whow , thanks , but I think I am even more confused than before..So your advice is wait it out..let him have his time..do not contact him..I can do that..but when you say that they have no sense of time...could this be months ??
I am just confused when it comes to a simple equation..if he likes me and sees that I like him..I mean we have known each other for a while..what is the problem of enjoying each other...but I guess he is different...
I can be patient..so we'll see...the game is on..geezz...do they do this even at age 36 ??

LOL..It doesn't make a difference whether your 50 apparantly!..lol..

yeah..I guess that is a possibility...LWCAO...maybe I just leave him be...and not contac him,to see what's gonna happen..well..that is the only thing I could do...
In my absence he would e-mail and be all sweet..but I guess e-mail is one thing., 'cause he' s not backing it up with any actions..
Oh welll..I will let him be free...I just do not get it..how can a person be super sweet one day adn then dissapear...still confused...

soo confused,
Missmorals is right, it doesn't matter what age they are. They all still do it. It's just something about them. Yes, it could be months before he contacts you, but I really don't see him waiting that long to do so. They usually don't leave people hanging like that if they really don't want anything to do with that person at all. So I take it you havent heard anything from him yet?

I know you are having a hard time trying to understand why he is sweet, and then just what seems to be hateful to you the next minute. I've been there plenty of times. But now after a year I have learned all about him and how he is and how to deal with it. You have to be a strong and patient person to deal with a cap. It's just part of it.

Well..just to update ...I have heard from my cap yesterday...he seemed like we talked every day...and wanted to know when we're gonna get together..asked me to call him later on yesterday....I do not understand. I guess I need to practice patience and strength...'cause this guy does not function like the rest of us...Now I am not sure whether he likes me or not..or is this behaviour telling me that he is just keeping me on the side...I guess my confusion will continue..haha oh well, I am gonna do my thing and treat him as a bonus ride when I get one..not putting all my coins on him ....

I am 28 and he is 35...too old for this bull...

"think you can tell when a guy is really keen on you because he starts making and suggesting lots of things you can do together in the future"..Yes I think she's absolutely right..
Then when you tell them you like them more than friends they bide their time and get all confused..bless them!..haven't a clue what they want..and when they want it..

Yes with cappies you have to be patient. I must say touchwood my one has been very good with his phonecalls..Every other day, and we speak every day on msn..but don't let them take you for granted..distance yourself..maintain in control of your emotions.

Ooooh, it's that 7 year magic number... "Soo confused", I have the reverse, I'm 36, he's 29. I'M too old for the bullcrap, and nicely made that clear. At least your clock's not the one ticking loudly there... I can't risk putting any chips on mine at all, based on a year and a half of stop-start nonsense.

A year and a half..whow.I do not think I can last that long if this game continues...Is it worth it..I guess I have to ask mysef that ..and him..but for the men..it's perfect..they get to have their cake and eat it too...very freaking slowly too...:-]]]]

soo confused

May attitude about waiting for these Cappy men is don't do it. It has been six months and I am not with the cappy still. I talk to him about once a month he makes excuses to call me ask me stupid questions but can't say he just called to say hi.

I know he is trying to figure out whether he can trust me or not but I am not giving him anything to go on because I am not calling and begging to see him. I have moved on and is seeing someone else. And hopefully he has to. No big deal

And I guess because I am older (44) I don't have time for that crap. It is to much out in the world to be putting all your eggs in one basket that you are not even sure if you are going to keep or have.

Why waste your time.

That is just my opinion and a lot of people don't agree with how I have handled my siutation with him. But hey I am happy and I am not emotional or mentally drained by a person

i haven't written often here in the past few months, but I am so aligned with scorpian lady on this one, maybe it's because we're the same age, but I too gave up the cap guy and all his shit, after, I'm ashamed to admit, 3+ years of it, it was hard, very hard, but now...sooooooooooooooooooo glad, are there things i miss?? hell yes, he (when he was on and giving, on his terms of course) was so much fun and just so THERE, but there were too too many other times of waiting, worrying, wondering, anxiety stress, and knowing, just knowing(and i was absolutely right) that he was checking other women out. Long story short, I said to myself out loud so many times with him " He makes me feel bad about myself" cause i was ashamed to be such a willing doormat. Now I too am seeing someone who is honest, truthful, not afraid to show emotion, doesn't play games and simply adores me and isn't afraid to let me know that. He's fun, and giving and also quite good in bed...and it's real, not just "aren't I a stud" performance.
so every situation is different i know, some people wait it out and are patient and it works out for them, for me....my situation was masochistic. he loved me, he loved me not, just too many damn time...i had to get off the roller coaster for my mental and physical health and well being.
as i said, i always say, nothing and no one is set in stone, and other people's situations etc can be very very different, i'm just sharing mine.

Well that is really scary...it's unbelivable that these men..or boys I should say are all the same..I am going to pay real attention not to meet another capricorn..after I finish the soap opera I got going on here..It's all on his time...adn when he is giving it's amazing..but when he pulls back there is soo much anxiety and stress that I am not even sure that the giving part makes up for it..I guess if it continues on . I have to be the one to breik it..since these cap men dissapear but come back..how do you know it's over with one...since they hang around...

sooo confused

Well once you have been with one you should know how to handle the others that come along...I have met 2 since and they are just friends...it is on my terms, I have told them I am aware of there personality and they agreed that I was right, they just can't play the game on me. Which in my mind puts the ball in my court. And they see me on my terms not theres I love it.

Excellent question, SoConfused! "How do you know when it's over..." I am wondering the same. I've got 9 weeks of not hearing from him; 13 weeks is the record. I'm not putting in any calls or efforts any longer, so I'm riding this out to see if he's POOFED permanently which he well should, as I told him not to come around if he can't handle a serious relationship.

It's funny though... on this issue, he once made the comment that he didn't like things to end, he liked them to go on and on; he was talking about racetracks and racing, but I knew what he was getting at, something deeper, and I told him "I'll read as much into that as possible." And we both laughed, it being understood.

That's how it seems to be- you can't get rid of them. Ask Taurus36, she says it all the time! But just because they're coming back around, that doesn't mean much either, if you're going for time spans (like me) of weeks on end w/ no return call.

Good luck! I say that if you're experiencing the bullcrap this early on, try to get the heck out of there now!

Capgirl, scorpian lady, so good to see you guys...all i keep thinking when i read soooooconfuseds writings is that song "another one bites the dust"
we all know every situation can change, but as you ladies know, i swore off cap men and for me it was the best thing,as far as men i ever did. I love roller coasters but not when it comes to my heart and mind, my blood pressure is lower, i sleep nights, i'm not staring at the phone anymore, and the number one blessing is i feel good about myself again and not like a piece of unworthy crap.Hope you ladies are doing well