Losing sleep over cappy lady comment

It started as a usual short text convos just before bed time and she (cap lady that I have been dating for a little over 9 months, not in an official relationship) mentioned that she was hungry. I said to drink some hot stuff or get some food from the fridge but she mentioned there's a delivery and she even made it so ambiguous to simply say "delivery" and I assumed she ordered take away.

But hell no, someone's actually delivering food for her. I suppose its one of her many admirers, she usually get deliveries like these.

Me: "That's sweet"
Her: "Not sweet because it is late".
Me: "Even sweeter because it is late"
Her: "People get freaky after a while"
Me: "Freaky how?"
Her: "Hard to explain, I'll just drink my yoghurt and hope its not on the way"
Me: "Its from one of your admirers, just enjoy it"
Me: " In that case if its from me, would you think i am freaky too at this hour?"
Her : "Freakiness does not come with the action per se and also does not mean you are sweet"
Me: "From my POV, I only look at it as you are hungry, you made a comment to whoever, that person likes you, decide to get food without any other intentions"
Her: "If I do not see you again, its been a pleasure."

No more replies afterwards when I asked her to clarify her last sentence. Am I being over sensitive towards her last sentence or in fact I have been so INSENSITIVE throughout the whole convo?

We all have different perspectives and thoughts of how we interpret other people's statement, I welcome your perspectives and POVs. Need to just write it out rather than just tossing and turning in bed wondering what the hell she meant.

Why are yall not official?

Ionno, but I understand where she's coming from in feeling that anything after a certain hour can shed light to what the other person has in mind, or on his mind.

I think she got pissed at you trying to play cool and play it all off as if you are okay with her admirers, although she's guilty in trying to make you jealous, which brings me back to the first question.

Ignore her last comment and give her a day or two. I think yall both are playing games though..

Posted by lnana04
Why are yall not official?

Well basically she isnt ready to get into a relationship and think that she is better off being single due to the freedom of it all (she was in a 4 year relationship with a controlling person and throughout they had lots of arguments) and it brings all too much emotional stress for her when I get upset over things (yeah I can be very sensitive) . After one of those talks we had , I think I play it too cool and I have kind of reach a limit. The thing is, we are already some what behaving like a couple without the title. I do not want to push for it until she is ready and make the move?

During one of our last emo conversations a couple of weeks back, she asked me "What is it that I want out of this (our kind of relationship with the intimacy but without the title)?" . I kept quiet to her question and I kind of left her alone for the next 3 weeks as I think both of us needed the me time alone. We did still communicate over short texts, just did not meet up that's all.

Posted by spritescream

Posted by lnana04
Why are yall not official?

Well basically she isnt ready to get into a relationship and think that she is better off being single due to the freedom of it all (she was in a 4 year relationship with a controlling person and throughout they had lots of arguments) and it brings all too much emotional stress for her when I get upset over things (yeah I can be very sensitive) . After one of those talks we had , I think I play it too cool and I have kind of reach a limit. The thing is, we are already some what behaving like a couple without the title. I do not want to push for it until she is ready and make the move?

During one of our last emo conversations a couple of weeks back, she asked me "What is it that I want out of this (our kind of relationship with the intimacy but without the title)?" . I kept quiet to her question and I kind of left her alone for the next 3 weeks as I think both of us needed the me time alone. We did still communicate over short texts, just did not meet up that's all.

click to expand

She doesn't seem like she knows what she wants. I'm thinking if you want it to be official, kind of screw what she says and put your foot down. You can't wait for someone like this to make a move or wait until she's ready because that will never happen. You will just continue to get comments like the last one she made over silliness, all because she REALLY wants you to claim her.

And if you do, do it randomly. Like just be out somewhere with her and introduce her as your girlfriend, then yall can talk about actually being official later. She seems weird, no offense, and reminds me of myself lol, which means you gotta corner her at angles.

But this is just my opinion on how to handle her, maybe someone else will make better sense of her behavior. I just think 9 months of seeing eachother and no title, yet a bunch of feelings is interesting..

The reason for the toss and turn was also making the decision to put my foot forward and really CLAIM her like you said. Just needed to mull over some things.

Didn't the Cap boards say they are always extremely patient when it comes to affairs of the heart? 9 months aint really a long time right?

Dont worry lnaana04, I am not offended that you think she seems weird. Most people would think the same way too.

Gonna lose more sleep tonight...

Had a quick chat with Cappy lady, so the Arien me being oblivious that she had made the decision to distance herself away from me (all the while I thought she needed ME time, I much needed it too) and that whatever I do or say does not bother her anymore. She used to but not anymore. It feels so weird as we were still intimate over the weekend.

I am not giving up. I have persevered for such a long time. She is worth the fight.

Im not sure if I missed the window or there's even any chance at all now.

Thanks for the encouragement cheekyfaerie!

Her defense wall against me is way high up now. Anything I say now, just get me more upset as it sounded like she made up her mind.

Managed to have a quick chat via MSN, her reason for distancing is prioritizing and refocus to other aspects in her life. I mean come on, don't we all do this all the time regardless being in a r/s with someone.

Hi there. Capricorn woman here. I guess chatting over the internet is not enough for her anymore. She probably wants you to see her in person more often to prove that you're serious. Maybe you played it cool for far too long. Am afraid she has finally made up her mind. Let's hope not. Usually when a Cap say no, it's a no.

Heres some update on my situation. Went all out to reclaim her after her distancing , things seems to be all good (we talked about our feelings), we had one of the best intimate moments and I expressed my heartfelt feelings to her and asked her to grow old with me. She was skeptical and wondered why the sudden change in me. She is like one minute she is really all warm and fuzzy over me and the next minute she's doing the distance sh*t again. Is it that difficult for a cappy woman to commit?

I suppose I should move on or just do nothing and wait for her to come back and be her warm and fuzzy self again? She asked me if she ask me to stay away from her (that is if she distance herself away from me, I should leave her alone), would I agree to it. I said No and that I will be around to which she replied I should forget about that question then. She's driving me nuts. Oh cappies!

By the way, she keeps saying according to her checklist, I am not the one. That is for now.

Posted by spritescream
By the way, she keeps saying according to her checklist, I am not the one. That is for now.

NOT the one—

Then why are you still trying? Doesn't that scream volumes to you? How does being a ping pong feel?

Thanks THX, I have tried, so yeah just gonna enjoy my holidays regardless!

Posted by spritescream
By the way, she keeps saying according to her checklist, I am not the one. That is for now.

Move on... she's made up her mind!