Need Help with my Cappy Female Friend!

Hi,

I've been trying to befriend this Capricorn woman for 2-1/2 years now. I'm a Leo female.
I like her to be my friends as I think we share a lot of similarities like: music, dancing, jokes etc.
At the beginning up until a year ago, it's been so tough to befriend her as she definitely put on her Capricorn persona to me. One day she was Ms. Chatty Cathy who liked to joke around with me and on other day she was Ms. Grumpy who pretty much didn't want to talk to me and acted like she didn't know me.
But because I think it would be nice to have her as my friend because of all the similarities in what we like, I kept at it i.e. I kept being nice to her even though sometimes my niceness was not responded. Plus, from all the stuff I've read about Capricorn man/woman, they're really not afraid to take time in doing anything as part of their security/defense mechanism. This includes getting into romance or friendship relationships. That's another reason why I kept at it.
Now, it looks like my "hard work" is paying off. Since few months ago, she never ignored me anymore. We always chatted and joked around after our class (she's a fitness instructor). Also, she's been using 'xoxo" in her emails to me and signed it with her shortened name. She also told me a secret that she asked me not to tell people until she's ready to tell them (she's pregnant). She also let me touch her belly to illustrate how she needs to lose her belly fat! So cute!
All the signs pointed that we've become friends. Until a week ago 😢
She has been really moody lately. One day she's super happy, other days she's grumpy. Mostly it's due to her pregnancy. She told me that this is because she felt like she's lost control over her body. I can totally understand where she's coming from, her being a fitness instructor. Since I've considered her as one of my friends already, I've been trying to give her comfort and support. About 1-1/2 weeks ago, I wrote her about my pregnancy experience so that she knows that I went through what she is going through now(i.e. lost control over my body, body got bigger without me being able to do anything about it...) and I told her I'm there for support if she needs me. She wrote me back right away thanking me for my support and how lucky she is to have me in her life as a friend. She also elaborated why she is so moody. Basically she is scared of failing and not being perfect (kinda tied in to her losing control over her body)

Continuation from previous post:
Basically she is scared of failing and not being perfect (kinda tied in to her losing control over her body) and she thinks that's in the way of her being happy. About a week ago, I wrote her back saying that's what friends are for and how I loved her class so much that morning, to boost her spirit (it was a really good class though 🙂 ). On the same day, I wrote her again (in different email) saying that one thing I learn in life, the people that care about you (her in this case), don't really care if she's perfect or not. They just care that she's happy. And coyly, for her blues caused by trying to be perfect, I told her to think of some other women that she is not 'particularly' in favor of and how she looks so much better than them, with her being pregnant and all!
Eversince then, she hasn't said anything to me, either via email or in person. I've taken 2 classes with her as the instructor since then. Usually we hang out and chat a bit after classes. But after these 2 recent classes (after my last email), we didn't do that as she had to go somewhere right away after class. I feel like she's avoiding me for whatever reason. I also feel like she is going back to how she was with me before we become friends, which is she'd chat with me on good days and she'd ignore me on bad days.
What should I do? Give her some space or ask her if something is bothering her, or if I've said/done anything wrong or that upset her?
If I should give her some space, how long should I do this?
If I should ask her if I've said/done anything wrong, should I do it over email, text message or in person?
Bottom line, I want her to know that I don't have any hidden agenda as a friend.
I have never had any problems in befriending anyone who I'd like to be friends with. This one's different!

Thank You!

Some days I'm chatty and an open book. Other days I'm a loner and not willing to share things so easily. Depends on how tired I am or what mood I'm in. Plus she has pregnancy hormones running rapid, so she's going to be a little more moody.

Sometimes, too, people are uncomfortable with complements. Maybe she didn't know how to respond or isn't sure what your motivation was in giving her one.

—

Let time be your friend and let the friendship build at it's own pace.

I would just give her some space, she'll reach out to you when she's ready to be chatty again! I'm like that, some days I don't want to talk to anybody, regardless of how good of friends we are. Don't take it personally 🙂

Cap ladies,

Thank you so much for your response!
I gave her complements because I was really being sincere about her looking good being pregnant and because I consider myself her friend already and that's what I always do with my friends 🙂 I give all my close friends moral support and encouragement especially when they are second guessing themselves.
In a way, you are right in terms of giving her some space. Starting last week, she started being somewhat Chatty Cathy again, and being friendly again towards me. She still had to go somewhere after class, but one time she told me the reason why she had to go and the second time this week, after she just took off after class, she texted me and let me know she had to run and asked if she'd see me the next day in class. Last weeked, she even expressed her interest in hanging out with me and bunch of other girls. Even though she ended up not being able to make it (which is fine for me 🙂 ) at least, she's EXPRESSED her interest in hanging out with us! Normally, getting her to even say 'Yes' to any type of social invitation has been so hard! So when she said 'Yes...if me and hubby are not doing this or that' was somewhat of a surprise to me and I see that as something positive!

Now I'd like to hear what you think about this issue, as Capricorns.
My Cappy friend here is a fitness instructor. I think she is really good at what she does. That's why I went to her fitness classes to begin with. But lately, there have been decrease in the number of people that go to her class. There have been 2-3 women that came up to me (I don't know why me, perhaps because they trust me...) and told me they stopped going to her class. One reason was her work out has not been intense/energetic enough for them and her work out is more like warm up for them. Second reason was she is not nice (my paraphrasing: not doing enough small talk with them, to be more personable). I tried to defend the second one by telling the lady maybe it's because she's pregnant right now and that's why she doesn't feel like making a small talk etc. She said that she's been going to my friend's class for 3 years now and she's never nice.
I really feel bad for my Cappy friend, as she is really good instructor. For the not enough intensity/energy issue, I kinda touched on it briefly with my Cappy friend. She was pregnant already when I told her this. She said she did tone her workout down a bit starting last year as it started to cause her fatigue (

She said she did tone her workout down a bit starting last year as it started to cause her fatigue (she teaches 4-5 classes a day in average). And she really took it hard that there are people that don't like her workout. To that, I told her, well it's just 2 of them, don't worry about it! Just focus on those that like your workout, otherwise you're gonna be so stressed out!

Now, about the other complaint, about her not being nice (my paraphrasing, not doing enough small talk), I have not told this to my Cappy friend. Should I— The reason why this is a dilemma for me are:
- She is my friend. I don't want to potentially hurt her feelings
- She takes pride in her line of work
- She takes any bad things said about her really personally. Bad things said about her directly translates into "I'm a dud instructor" with her.
- She's pregnant. I don't want to upset her when she's pregnant and naturally being more emotional than usual.
- The gym she teaches at, the one that has these ladies complaining about her, have very strict requirements about # of minimum headcounts/class attendees to keep classes. My worries is if there are more and more people that don't like her class, they will stop going to her class and her class would be cancelled.

What do you think Capricorns? Should I tell her about these complaints or not? I don't want to make her upset, but at the same time, I would love it if she can maintain her headcounts # and have people come to her class more as she is a really good instructor!

Thank you in advance!

Am I the only one who thinks this is a bit weird?

My sister is capricorn, She's not talkative if the conversation is non sense according to her standard, My capricorn female friends are the same My bff is capricorn.
my sister complained to me how her friends specially her bf of how they communicate with her.
eg; Capi: you know babe, the other guy jump off from 7th floor of the building, i wonder why?
Bf: where is the funeral babe?
She just rolled her eyes and turned her back.
They are loyal, devoted and responsible people you can depend on them in times of crisis and in need, only if they trust you 😛..

Posted by Eula
Am I the only one who thinks this is a bit weird?

I don't think it's weird, but the intensity of wanting to be her friend SO MUCH is unusual. It makes me think the OP has a friend crush or crush-crush going on.

@Eula:
I understand your feeling a bit weird about this whole thing 🙂

@beckamitchell:
Are you a Leo too? If yes, that's probably why you don't think this is weird. Thanks for not thinking of my post of being weird 🙂

Both:
I think I'm a typical Leo. If I have to use several words to describe me best, I would pick these: Loyal, Loving, Love to be in the limelight, Hard working, (I think I am) Indispensable ( 🙂 ), Intensely proud, outgoing and have tremendous zest for and enthusiasm for life (and the things and the people that I care about). Now, I'm not saying they're all good traits. Just like any other traits (or anything else), anything that's too extreme is not good. This article describes me the best:
http://www.astrology.com/leo-sun-sign-zodiac-signs/2-d-d-66944<BR>
I think I have abundant level of thinking that I'm indispensable and intensely proud. The idea that I'm not that indispensable and not being able to get what I want (in the time that I want) are not very pleasant for me. I NEVER have to work this hard to befriend ANYONE 🙂 Normally, people like me and become my friend within few times seeing/hanging out with me. And those that I want to befriend with further (because I feel some connection with them, hobbies, jokes, life style etc.), I just need to spend few more times hanging out with them outside of our regular elements (whether it is the office or the gym etc.) or show them that I want to be their friends by giving them the attentions that only (good) friends give 🙂 This approach has worked like a charm on all my friends so far, consistently. But not with this Cappy friend (as indicated by her warm and cold demeanor). I guess that's why I'm baffled by it and have taken it somewhat personally i.e. what's not to like about me? LOL! Is it a friend crush? I don't know. Maybe, Maybe not. But I would rather call it as Friend SAGA!

Thanks!

@username78:

"They are loyal, devoted and responsible people you can depend on them in times of crisis and in need, only if they trust"

Yep! Read this so many times about Cappy! That probably explains one of the reasons why I started this thread 🙂

@champranger:

Thank you so much for your feedback!