Question for Cappy Men ( or women ;-) )

If a Cap Man is not interested after an initial date (or 2), how would he proceed in letting the girl know that "it ain't going further"?
(let it fade out/avoidance/be direct and let her know etc..)

Ladies, feel free to put in your 2 cents. I'm just curious. I realize this may be more of a man/woman issue, but I'd like to see the Caps point of view on this.

Earthgirl

I'm a Taurus and would usually tell the person in a VERY diplomatic kindhearted way that it just IS NOT going to happen. Unless they become stalkers in which case I get NASTY. 😉 lol

I'm just a girl but a Cap girl... I'd either send an email or not return or answer their calls. I hate confrontation though and avoid it at all costs.

Ok.. This has always been my way to do it: I just let it fade out or avoid a guy who I don't want anymore. I decide that I'm not interested anymore and then I just forget them. Sometimes they still come to tell that they like me.. Then I gotta say that I'm not interested in them. Mostly they get mad. But later they apologize. I never answer to them again. I see that the reason why they apologized was that they still wanted to be friends, just in case if I changed my mind. But when it's over it's over.

Sometimes I feel bad, coz I might have hurt someone's feelings. That I didn't mean to do..

"I'm just a girl but a Cap girl... I'd either send an email or not return or answer their calls. I hate confrontation though and avoid it at all costs."

lol.. This seems like a Cappy thing 🙂

Capgirl, if you WERE into them, would you return their call? Cuz from what I hear.. Caps are not into returning calls either way!! lol 😉😉

Earthgirl- all your winkies and smileys are cracking me up! See if you can't get this site to do any others!? lol

You are right... don't freak yet and think he's not interested bc. he hasn't returned that call. I've learned that it takes 3 contact attempts (email/text/call; or 3 calls; or IM/call/IM... take your pick!) to get a response from the Cap. guy I know. It is sucky shit and I still don't like it but it seems to be the pattern.

For me personally, I do not return my girl friends' calls sometimes, my mother's, my dad's, my sister's... I don't make them call me 3 damm times but I can go 5-7 days before calling them back. I might say "I've been busy, sorry" but that's BS- I just wasn't in a happy, cheerful mood to talk, or didn't want to get onto a phone call for 30 minutes and interrupt my evening.

Capgirl.. LOL.. I guess I'm pretty obvious huh? lol
For whatever it's worth, thanks Sweetie for your "vote of confidence".
So 3's the magic number, I can deal with that! 😉 (sorry, i'm out of control with those things!! )

Hugs,
EG 🙂

Just make it an even 10 calls...lol...just kidding!!! Sorry, I couldn't resist...ATTENTION EARTHGIRL: DO NOT CALL...NO, NO NO!!!...lol.

Ya'll are killing me! EG- you might want to err on the side of "the Rules", if in doubt, bc. you have dug yourself into a bit of a hole w/ letting the goodies out of the jar... so a little hard to get at this early stage won't hurt until you can get another hook in him, and that's not nails scratching the back, girl! lol

JE SUIS A BIG idiot. Translation: I AM a big idiot.
Thanks for making me laugh guys.
Yeah.. my cookies FLEW out of the jar at lightning speed!!! And tonight, i seriously fucked up. If you care to know what I did, you'll see on my old thread (did i ruin my chances with a grea cap?).. yeah.. that long one.
Anyways people.. I messed it up. but i love you all anyways!! 🙂
And I still think CAPS ROCK! (most of the time 😉 )

I got myself into this mess myself. I think it's over for me and this cap.
bye lovely people.
I'm still gonna float around here and see what's up !

Dear Earthgril

Being a cap I would never leave you hanging I would tell you been nice but might be better if we don't move on with this. I am sorry to have wasted your time. Good luck hope things work out for you.

I agree with you JT. Cap men will tell you if they are not interested. OR if they feel they have made a MISTAKE in dating someone, they WILL disappear, never to be heard from again. (This is rare). JT do you agree with my statement, that Cap men can love someone when they are away from them?

EG - I don't think it's over. It is what it is in my opinion and if you are expecting more, Don't. Just let it be and see what happens.

Yeah but I also think they can tell you they arent interested but not really mean it. I think they have a tendency to let their insecurities and fear get the best of them.

#1 Taurus 36 absents makes the heart grow founder, unless of course you have cut them loose before you depart. If you and your lov are apart for a time a month or two then you build a desire for them that borders on more than just needing them, for a year or two remember if you cnat lov the one you lov, lov the one your with.

#2 Febpisces 27
With us caps no games when I say its over its over, when you say its over you had better mean it because I am gone and I am not coming back. If you cut me loose I am always the gentelman. I take the high ground, you need not worry about every step you take I won't be watching. for you no longer belong to me.

#3 capgirl
Call me leave me a short message because if it goes beyond 30 sec you just been hung up on no matter who you are get to the point.

OH MY GOD!!!! JT, my Cap told me that he will delete the message if it's over 30 secs!
LOL!!!!!!!!! That is too funny. After he told me the first time. I got it! Well the comment came from the horses mouth and he's very straight forward and I truly believe he meant it. I asked him, what would happen if we were in a relationship and lived together. Gosh! I'd probably never see him huh? HAHA!!

I think caps make it very clear what they want, so I would guess they would be very clear in this as well. Just listen to what they say and watch what they do.

"The answer is easy if you take it logically
I?d like to help you in your struggle...
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You don?t need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You don?t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee..."

🙂

Not clear what you're saying stardance. Call me stupid, but thisone went over my head. Can you elaborate?

taurus36,

You are anything but stupid...you just fail to understand my twisted silly mind, and you're in good company 🙂

What I meant is to answer earthgirls question (rephrased) "How do you know if a capman is not interested?" Well, he may have fifty different ways to letting you know, but it would be very clear ie. "Don't call me anymore", or he would not take or return your calls at all, or "I don't think you and I will be good for each other"

I just think they are very good at speaking their minds, once they make a descision. But that doesn't mean you that if they haven't made it clear that you should abuse their good nature and become a pest, or they may reach the descision to cut you off.

I hope this makes more sense...

Happy Easter!!

I'm exactly the same way "Capgirlinlustwithleo", hiding how I feel to the point of looking like I don't like them at all! It's so "coquettish"! That's why I've just come clean with the letter, just laying it out there in no uncertain terms.

Ya what she said.....and nuh uh, not mine, my caps rock, y'all are just getting stuck in a power struggle.....once caps realize that they you don't tip over easy, they trust you and the struggle is over, but you gotta respect'em and luv'em or they're.....swooosh...gone!

Yea, Stardance, you're probably right... I kicked mine in the teeth one too many times I fear...

What do you mean by "you don't tip over easy"??

You know, you're good at it CG, you don't fall over because they make a mistake. You stay strong and confident and personally, I may call this time and have a nice talk, I ask him what is important to him (not so directly) and then I wait, the longer the sweeter, cause I know he wants more honey, and the longer it takes, the hungrier and happier when he gets it again.

Just sit in a field of wild flower and watch, you'll see you draw more bees and birds and even Cap Guys with honey than you do with vinegar.