Ready or Not

When someone tells you that they have feelings for you... when you dont have feelings for them... how does this effect you? Do you keep your cool? Or do you find that you distance yourself? Do you confront them with the plain and simple truth (even if rarely plain and never simple)? Do you sugar coat?

Someone confronted me and given the situation, I gotta say... im touched, annoyed, and stressed about it. touched because i know it takes a lot to have feelings and admit to them. annoyed because this guy was a bit opportunistic when he decided to tell me this... I was just a lil vulnerable at the time, but enough to feel that his timing was all wrong. and lastly, stressed... I feel responsible for his feelings. I dont flirt with people I know wont be able to take it the right way, but I do befriend people of a certain quality. I DO NOT lead people on. and this guy (a cancer) is a good guy whom I became friends with knowing he understood i was already seeing someone else. I dunno... I feel mostly annoyed with the whole situation. Is that wrong? I'll confront him again soon. Very soon I guess. He wanted me to think about the things he said to me and really there isnt much thinking I've had to do other than how I can, with sensitivity, make it crystal CLEAR to him that I'm not interested for at least a few good reasons. I'm not good at this stuff. There's no easy way is there?

Just be honest, kind and gentle with him and don't make him wait for your honesty. His timing may have been off, but i'm sure his heart was in the right place.

:p oh bling

i think his heart was in the right place as well... but i think bling is right. i have a feeling he'd pull at some emotional strings if i present them to him by being sensitive. straight might be the most effective way to handle this.

waifs and strays... man, i hope not.

thanks for the insight sherob and bling 🙂

lol

like medicine via injection, eh

'solid war face' ...i better not think or even try that when i tell him or i WILL giggle and smirk. lol

all silliness aside ...i think i got it. it will be hard enough to get a smile out of me when delivering something as serious. i dont think i'll have a problem with straight facing it. ahhh, i just dont look forward to doing it.

hrmmmm

hope he isnt a cancer.

thats pretty raunchy for people to try to place blame on you.

whoaitsnara once said very eloquently said 'having crushes is fun cause then your able to flirt and have a fun time, but it's a different feeling when they're already taken, then your just stuck playing games with yourself....'

i think even when the person isnt already taken but just doesnt share the same feeling for the other person... they're sometimes still stuck playing games with themselves. i know i've done it and to a degree perhaps i still do it. some people just hear what the want to hear no matter how directly you say otherwise to them.

'CP...slag his momma off,that should do the trick'

it sure as sh*t would... he just found out she has cancer! he's kind of an emotional wreck because of it. so i'm doubly confused as to why he's bothering with me.

ha!... there's an extra 'said' in there. please pardon that.

😢... i didnt ask for that. i'll be his friend which should be good enough and perhaps better. i cant be anymore than that and given the situation it's possible i might have to be less.

phew *wipes brow*

😛

i had a hard time with these situations when i was younger, but got better at being blunt and yes... even being a beeotch sometimes, but it's been a while since i've had to... and even longer that i've had to with someone i considered a friend.

LOL

isnt that what all guys say to themselves when they dont get their way?

My friend's husband has been interested in me more than a year now. I thought he would forget about me already.. But no, he's still giving me hints that he is dreaming about me.. That's sad..

Same thing happened to me with a cancer man and to top it off most of his planets were in leo. Alot of fire and romancing notions there! I was interested in friendship, he wanted to own me. He's been long gone, looking elsewhere for his great love. Being just friends never worked. Just be honest with him, and be careful of emotional manipulation. Seems like from what you've shared he's already tried that tactic by approaching you while being vulnerable. Usually, I look at it this way,"He's a big boy, and it's up to him how he handles it'. If he doesn't handle your honesty well, do not take it on yourself. He is the only one responsible for his response.

"and a bit wrong"

Is it?? That's what's making it so sad. And I know that I never showed any signs of interest.. But I just can't tell my friend. I'm trying to keep it cool and keep the distance with him. I already told him a year ago that there's no chance I could be interested. Maybe I'm giving those 'hard to get' vibes then.. 😛 I don't know..

S&S, just a guess here, but the guy probably hits on lots of other women..

tripod, there's no question of that, I'm sure he does. My only concern is that the guy is my friend's husband and I'd rather go out with them without any worries.

Anyway, I know these guys who hit on other women, my soon-to-be-ex-husband is one of them. Some guys just don't know what they want.

Maybe I'm feeling a bit mean tonight, er, this morning, but can you somehow use your capricorn humor to diffuse the man? I can bet the wife would get a big kick out of you putting him in his place!

hmmm.. I can use my humor in many cases but somehow this isn't one of them. Anyway, this is not a problem to me. I can mention it here but I can still live with that. All I think about is someone who means a lot to me and this guy here is actually one of my minor problems 🙂 And btw, you are not mean because I don't take it so.

it's my wicked sense of humor-being mean to him.

"no smile, smirk, giggles nothing just straight blunt"

Well done JD..exactly what I would've said..my sister has a terrible habit of giggling like a girl when she discloses feelings..can't stand that..and I would give the same advice..be blunt with a war like face..lol..giggles and smiles give off the wrong signal.