Should i contact my cappy or not—?

Do NOT initiate contact! After so much time together, you are right in asking for what you deserve. Males as a species are hunters. He WILL contact you. Be strong

I truly believe if it's meant to be it will happen so naturally. If you have to play games it will all come to surface in the end. Do you really want to preface it with a game? No matter the sign...if you have to adjust your approach to fit their style , it just won't work in the end. I;m learning the hard way - def not an expert here

True! Compromise does not mean changing who you are. If you are into someone you will bend for them and vice versa!



Repeat - VICE VERSA!

Two way street

OK think about yourself. For the right person you will change your ways. You'll look at the big picture in a different light and do what it takes to understand them. It's not so different with men. Think of the things thjat you desire in a mate. BE THAT

Go girl! LOL you did well there!! not so damn easy with my cappy lol

You will make him BEND. Be strong. Be a bitch. Be cold. The only harm in that is he will not be able to handle it. In reality, you do not want someone who van't handle you at your worst, can you?

I think it is same in all/any relationships that are long lasting - its give and take and the ones that are all take take take and no bend is just ignorance

AGREED!

I am totally with you on that.... it is def about stepping up or not bothering at all

Just to add....... he has just sent me a text. not sure what to do, am not going to jump back and reply though

That he misses me and whole lot of kisses

lol i know well i do not want him thinking he can just keep coming and going, so for now am just going to ignore it

I think we women get misguided by those "extreme" cases where the woman sacrifices all to be with her man. It's not a gamble we should take. Honestly...even those gambles are not completely blind. Men know their role as the pursuer.

I sent you an e-mail...Going through what you are right now, but it's too long to post :-)

Star-light, don't Bend. furryleo has been insightful and humorous in her posts. *thumbs up*

You told him you can't do this anymore. furry gave you a great response: "so have you decided i am worth a committment then?" Get a straight answer. You want and need a committment. Don't get wishy-washy. It's better to say this in person, but if that's not possible, or he makes you wait to long or plays around with texting nonsense, walk away. You want a direct answer to a direct question. Usually, they give you one. But if that is not the case here, don't let him manipulate your emotions -- especially through his "waiting game".

It's just as important to you that you get what you want and what will make you happy just as it is for him. Your daughter will feel your unhappiness, so it's not just you involved in this. Be good to her by being good to yourself. If this cap doesn't want to do what it takes to keep you in his life, then trust me, there is a man out here who will see your value and love and cherish you, and you will love him as well.

Star-light, the thing to remember here is this: he understands committment. He is saturn-ruled. He is disciplined and before he commits to anything, he has counted up the cost and made an intelligent decision. As such, what you are asking him is not something he is "clueless" about -- I don't care if he does give you the deer-in-the-headlights look or the blank stare. So don't be fooled. Get a straight answer. You are worth his committment. If he's not ready, then that's fine. You will be fine and love will find you because that is the energy you are sending out. He will be alone -- even in a crowd -- because he is not ready for real intimacy. Don't sell yourself short or second-guess your maturity. Please.

Once he knows you are serious -- saying what you mean and mean what you say -- he will either sh~it or get off the pot (mainly b/c he's already made a decision). Just make sure you are ready for either result...ok?
🙂

Just stumbled upon this thread & read the 1st page:

star-light wrote:
1/10/2009 5:54:36 PM

He fits me like a 2nd skin if that makes sense we connect on every level....

I don't know why but those words felt so deeply romantic, spiritual and "cosmic". I feel that the 2 of you must connect at some unspoken, spiritual level.

*sniff* why can't I find someone like that? *bawls and reaches for Kleenex*