bulmagt
@bulmagt
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 30 · Topics: 4
so caps, do they like to humiliate others?
People who try to make other people feel bad just for kicks is a pet peeve of mine along with laughing at other people's misfortunes and I am going to go out on a limb here and say that it is not a cap trait. It's a trait of people who feel really bad about themselves and because they do, they apparently think that everyone else should feel that way too. If you get it - dish it style.
The thing about the cruise I didn't get at all. What did he do? Could there have been communication issues(language barriers) between the two of you?
The thing about the cruise I didn't get at all. What did he do? Could there have been communication issues(language barriers) between the two of you?
It could be just frustration and he sees you as a good enough friend that he can be his irritable, grumpy self with. That's actually a complement is some backassward way.
It's human nature to talk worse and harsher to people we really care about than people we don't. People we care about love us anyway and forgive us. So, if he's frustrated, irritated with himself, doesn't understand, really tired, he's comfortable being a bear with you.
As long as he's not doing it publically, it's just your perception of his intention.
It's human nature to talk worse and harsher to people we really care about than people we don't. People we care about love us anyway and forgive us. So, if he's frustrated, irritated with himself, doesn't understand, really tired, he's comfortable being a bear with you.
As long as he's not doing it publically, it's just your perception of his intention.
Sorry I was too vague when making the thread.
He wanted to go on a cruise for a few days, when I tried to buy it locally it was all sold out. But then he found one available at the hotel where he was staying. It was a foreign country and didnt speak the language, so basically he didnt know what he was buying.
so during the whole weekend I helped him with directions, what to do, where to go, etc cos i also speak that language. Told him the name of the port where the cruise was leaving and turns out it was 1 hour and a half away from his hotel, the taxi drive was about 250 bucks (and you know what caps are like when it comes to money). So during the whole time he's blaming me for everything, everything that was going wrong it was my fault, the fact he had to pay that much to the taxi driver was my fault, etc etc even though he was the one buying that cruise.
Ive learned that cap males are complicated creatures and I swear I really like this guy and even if nothing happens with him I would like him to count me as a friend (people around him prefer to gossip and say shit about him instead of trying to understand him. And his behavior dont really make him miss sympathy). So scorpio me, I was helping him the whole time biting my tongue each time he said something negative about me. Cos I do that for friends, I understand them and help them. I swear we were chatting the whole time, I was helping him with everything and yet he kept saying what a lousy assistant I am, how I take so much time in doing smething he asked me, how each time I say something things always turn out in a different way, etc etc. I ended up changing his flights back on Sunday night past 1am cos he wasnt going to make it on time, etc. Soo I tried not to get upset with him for hte things he was saying because I could understand him being in a foreign country, alone, and not knowing their local language. He was nervous and probably frustrated cos he couldnt be the good top quality guy he is mostly because of the language barrier.
Things to consider:
- his brother lives in the same city. And yet he was counting on me the whole time to help him with everything. Everything.
- Even though he was on the cruise, it was Sat night and he was chatting with me the whole time (the same for the rest of the cruise). He looks good and he's charming when he wants to, couldnt he be out trying to score with some hot girl?
- Each time he saw me online on the app, he would start talking to
He wanted to go on a cruise for a few days, when I tried to buy it locally it was all sold out. But then he found one available at the hotel where he was staying. It was a foreign country and didnt speak the language, so basically he didnt know what he was buying.
so during the whole weekend I helped him with directions, what to do, where to go, etc cos i also speak that language. Told him the name of the port where the cruise was leaving and turns out it was 1 hour and a half away from his hotel, the taxi drive was about 250 bucks (and you know what caps are like when it comes to money). So during the whole time he's blaming me for everything, everything that was going wrong it was my fault, the fact he had to pay that much to the taxi driver was my fault, etc etc even though he was the one buying that cruise.
Ive learned that cap males are complicated creatures and I swear I really like this guy and even if nothing happens with him I would like him to count me as a friend (people around him prefer to gossip and say shit about him instead of trying to understand him. And his behavior dont really make him miss sympathy). So scorpio me, I was helping him the whole time biting my tongue each time he said something negative about me. Cos I do that for friends, I understand them and help them. I swear we were chatting the whole time, I was helping him with everything and yet he kept saying what a lousy assistant I am, how I take so much time in doing smething he asked me, how each time I say something things always turn out in a different way, etc etc. I ended up changing his flights back on Sunday night past 1am cos he wasnt going to make it on time, etc. Soo I tried not to get upset with him for hte things he was saying because I could understand him being in a foreign country, alone, and not knowing their local language. He was nervous and probably frustrated cos he couldnt be the good top quality guy he is mostly because of the language barrier.
Things to consider:
- his brother lives in the same city. And yet he was counting on me the whole time to help him with everything. Everything.
- Even though he was on the cruise, it was Sat night and he was chatting with me the whole time (the same for the rest of the cruise). He looks good and he's charming when he wants to, couldnt he be out trying to score with some hot girl?
- Each time he saw me online on the app, he would start talking to
- Each time he saw me online on the app, he would start talking to me
- He was at the airport and when I asked him if he enjoyed the cruise he said it was boring as hell. And then mentioned how much I piss him off
- The reason why I wasnt able to buy the cruise for him with my travel agency was because he asked me for this in the last minute and everything was sold out, not because I didnt do my job properly.
- When I saw him back at the company I was sure he was gonna go to me holding Thor's hammer in his hand to smash my head with it. Instead he was smiling and looked fine. I was wtf?
Posted by truecap
It could be just frustration and he sees you as a good enough friend that he can be his irritable, grumpy self with. That's actually a complement is some backassward way.
It's human nature to talk worse and harsher to people we really care about than people we don't. People we care about love us anyway and forgive us. So, if he's frustrated, irritated with himself, doesn't understand, really tired, he's comfortable being a bear with you.
As long as he's not doing it publically, it's just your perception of his intention.
No, he's not doing in public. In public he behaves well like nothing is wrong, but its in my phone that he says all those things to me.
Im organizing something huge for this week at work and Ive been focusing all my efforts on this. Because of this reason I havent been able to help him as much as in the past, and of course this has made him his grumpy self with me again. I was so tired with the long week of work and honestly a bit fed up with his constant harsh talk on my phone app, that when I went to see him in his office I put the doc he needed to sign in front of him, on his desk. I didnt even look at him and I had this neutral/a bit serious expression. He signed it and when I tried to take the doc he kept a hold on a edge of it and that made me look at him, cos he wasnt letting it go. He was smiling and said in a low voice (so the others wouldnt hear him) why the long face? I just made a face at him and pulled at the doc and left, even though he started calling out for my name. I just ignored him. Later he messaged me a 'hey' and I ignored it and only replied it the next day. He hasnt talked to me again on the chat.
I'm so confussed. Is this normal male cap behavior?
Call him out on his bad behavior. Caps need that occasionally. Do not accept blame and tell him in no uncertain terms that his bad experience was not your fault, that you did everything you could to help him. You can do it in a way that is not offensvie such as a little light hearted teasing or light hearted sarcasm.
Posted by truecap
Call him out on his bad behavior. Caps need that occasionally. Do not accept blame and tell him in no uncertain terms that his bad experience was not your fault, that you did everything you could to help him.
Agreed.
You can do it in a way that is not offensvie such as a little light hearted teasing or light hearted sarcasm.click to expand
Agreed that it shouldn't be offensive, but I don't agree with the light hearted teasing or the lighthearted sarcasm. He needs to really get it and the teasing and sarcasm doesn't guarantee that this will be accomplished. There may be misunderstandings, such as him thinking that you were not hurt or serious. Nope, I wouldn't risk that.
Well I did it, called him out on the way he was treating me. But instead of being all serious and angry about it, I took advantage of a day we were talking about the things that were happening in the company. At some point when the convo was going well and he was in good spirits I kinda pouted and said in a low voice 'why are you so mean to me in the chat?' I didnt want the others to hear about it. He looked at me and said 'me? Im not'. I kinda nodded and said yes you are. Then the subject was changed, but he stopped treating me like that. I guess he got the message.
to answer e11e: it was half a work thing and the other half a personal favour. The work part was getting his plane ticket and hotel reservations for the city he was visiting, and then he asked me to get the cruise in order to coordinate both things together.
So! two weeks ago he visits me in my office and says I have something to show you, but keep it to yourself. I get curious cos he's kinda covering his phone so others wouldnt be able to see what he had on his screen. And then when he was sure no one was coming this way he showed me a pic of him in bed just wearing his underwear. He showed me that pic for a few secs, and if I have to be honest... very good pic. I said Im sure you showed it to many girls, and he said no, just you.
So, last week we had this work activity and we stayed out of two for two nights, he was in the room next to mine. I thought that after showing me that pic he was going to try something but he didnt. Instead we spent a lot of time together and in the last hhrr activities he joined my group, laughed and he knew I wasnt in the best mood and even though I said it was just a cold, I think he can see through me and knew it was something else. He said it.
For one of the activities all the people of the group had to hold each other hands, and since he was next to me we were holding our hands, that was so nice. loved the feeling of his hand holding mine.
So what do you think? he just showed me that pic out of ego so I would say how good he looked? or he's interested and he's taking a lot of time to make a move?
to answer e11e: it was half a work thing and the other half a personal favour. The work part was getting his plane ticket and hotel reservations for the city he was visiting, and then he asked me to get the cruise in order to coordinate both things together.
So! two weeks ago he visits me in my office and says I have something to show you, but keep it to yourself. I get curious cos he's kinda covering his phone so others wouldnt be able to see what he had on his screen. And then when he was sure no one was coming this way he showed me a pic of him in bed just wearing his underwear. He showed me that pic for a few secs, and if I have to be honest... very good pic. I said Im sure you showed it to many girls, and he said no, just you.
So, last week we had this work activity and we stayed out of two for two nights, he was in the room next to mine. I thought that after showing me that pic he was going to try something but he didnt. Instead we spent a lot of time together and in the last hhrr activities he joined my group, laughed and he knew I wasnt in the best mood and even though I said it was just a cold, I think he can see through me and knew it was something else. He said it.
For one of the activities all the people of the group had to hold each other hands, and since he was next to me we were holding our hands, that was so nice. loved the feeling of his hand holding mine.
So what do you think? he just showed me that pic out of ego so I would say how good he looked? or he's interested and he's taking a lot of time to make a move?
No disrespect to others comments, but can't you see he's flirting with you using Scorpio's methods— If he didn't care you would not exist to him! It's obvious he wants to lead you and wants to teach you in a fun loving and creative way. Or would you prefer a boring "I like you, want to go out sometime?"?
Start picking back at him. Then the fun will begin. Lol 😈
Start picking back at him. Then the fun will begin. Lol 😈
Posted by CluelessCancer
damn she's in lurve with this guy, thats obvious, and call me a masochist but the way he treats you is kind of hot.
lol i love caps, my leo energy just loves to put them in their place...and desecrate their entrails.
yeah I am, Im afraid I really am in love with this guy and I think that's why in situations I would've normally reacted in a different way (for example when making nasty comments to me, I would've totally said something not nice back) but with this guy I take a deep breath, count up to 10 and remember that this Cap has no emotional intelligence and maybe he just dont know how to express something in a way that dont hurt the other. I try to think he's not doing it on purpose.
Regarding your other comment bout why not asking him if he likes me, or ask him out. It's been SO SO hard to scratch a bit on that hard surface, so hard to finally make him lower his shields a bit that I fear that if I do or say something he might put his shields up again and ruin everything Ive managed to get during the last months.
He just confuses me so much.
Posted by SureShotCap
No disrespect to others comments, but can't you see he's flirting with you using Scorpio's methods— If he didn't care you would not exist to him! It's obvious he wants to lead you and wants to teach you in a fun loving and creative way. Or would you prefer a boring "I like you, want to go out sometime?"?
Start picking back at him. Then the fun will begin. Lol 😈
That's what I thought as well, that he was flirting. I know he has a huge ego and all, but if he just wanted a girl opinion about his body he would've showed me a pic from the gym, not one of him in bed.
No I dont like boring and predictable... but sometimes I get so confused with him that I dont know if Im reading things in a wrong way or not.
I want that fun, I really do.
....................
Now to add more, I was wtf today. A few nights ago he messaged me asking something about work, and honstly I ignored his messages, I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted was to talk about work. Today he messages me again during work and I checking other things, 40 minutes later he messages me again saying that sending questions and talking to me on chat is like talking to a wall cos I never reply, and it bothers him. And that he's going to delete me from his chat. So I said I was doing other things, didnt notice the messages till now, and if he wanted to delete me from his chat its up to him.
Then he starts ranting that I dont reply his messages, that my mood is always horrible and that Im sulking all the time. And honestly it hurt me to hear him saying that cos man I go out of the way to be nice to him. I do things for him that I dont do for others because I want to see him happy. But he never gives something back. I dont sulk and I always have the best face and attitude for him. When I asked what was wrong he said that he gets the idea that when I message him back, Im making fun of him (totally wrong on that) and that I never replied. I said if Im busy or if I fell sleep Im not going to reply. And that the chat format is always a good way get misunderstandings with others.
so I go out of the way to make things good and easy for him and yet he gets an attitude with me. I dont know what he wants, and why he always gets in that way with me.
makes me wonder if its worth the effort. At the end I seem to be the only one making an effort, giving and not rec
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Comments pls?