To Stay or Not To Stay...

I'm a Virgo female in love and in a relationship with a Capricorn male for three years, so far. We have a child together; who is the light of both of our lives. Since the start of our relationship it's been pretty typical to the stereotype of our sun signs, mine being happy to serve and his being career minded. We work very well together, I support his every move towards success and by support I mean, financial, emotional and relational. He supports my career goals as they come (I'm already successful in my profession) and encourages me with other goals.

Our one and only issue has been the same since the beginning, being intimate has been a bit of a challange. It took him quite a while to open up in every aspect of that area and yet even to this day, it appears he prefers "self satisfaction" over being with me. To clarify, I'm not overweight, nor do I have stretch marks, a worn appearance or any other sign of aging and/or having a child. I'm extremely active and have worked hard to stay in good shape. I'm not the typical Virgo in this area where you'd expect me to be timid, in fact, I have a very healthy appetite for intimacy. Given that I've been told Capricorns don't like to make the first moves, I've been the initiator but have been turned down on more occassions than I'd like to admit. I've been given the, "I've got a headache, I'm not feeling well, I'm too tired, I'm too stressed and not tonight excuses!!!" I've tried everything to get this area of our relationship to change but it seems he's unwilling to work on it and even states he's happy and doesn't feel there's anything wrong. To be completely open here, this wasn't his first response over the few times of my mentioning our issue. I was first told, he wasn't attracted to me because I was pregnant, than he wasn't attracted to me because I was overweight (baby weight) and then he was too burdened with raising our baby to be able to perform. His latest was his relating he's happy and nothing was wrong. I've discussed counseling with him but I don't see how it will help if he is unwilling to recognize our problem. In discussing this with a few close family members, it was advised to me to kick him out in the hopes that he realizes what he has and learns to respect me more which should encourage him to return with a better scope of our relationship and the lack of intimacy. My concern with doing this is that I've read once a Capricorn is scorned and leaves a relationship, then it's OVER and he wi

Continued...
he will move on and never look back.

My question is should I stay in the relationship or not? Will the intimacy grow in our relationship as it's said to be able to happen with Capricorns if I wait it out?

You have to get out of this relation, CNj1. It doesn't get any better. He is doesn't love you. He may like you like an old friend, but that is about it!

You will be confined to a sexless marriage.

I lived with it for 7 years.

I started having lovers.

Believe me.. you will less than a shit if you allow this marriage to bind you as a married woman.

Get out if you can.

Weight.. stretch marks.. none of those matter to a man if he loves you.

Seriously.. don't invest in him anymore.

Besides... Capricorns (majority) are f*cking cheaters.

My Capricorn friend is going thru this with his Aries wife. He usually NEVER turn down sex, but he says lately he hasnt been in the mood to do anything.

He went to see his ex Cancer, who he was very active with wjhen they dated, and he said he didnt have the desire to do anything with her either.

Gay maybe? Idk..

Btw, what is the schedule like if you dont mind me asking? 4-5 times a month etc? Better..worse?

Posted by FUM
Besides... Capricorns (majority) are f*cking cheaters.

Posted by FUM


I started having lovers.

click to expand

womp womp

"I suspect he suffered from the Madonna complex."

This could be it too. Some are notorious for it.

Posted by Metaphysical

Posted by FUM
Besides... Capricorns (majority) are f*cking cheaters.

Posted by FUM


I started having lovers.

womp womp

click to expand

You can womp me as much as you want, buddy!

Have you seen the number up there or are you are blind?

It says... 7 years!

Mr. metaphysical..

I have to spell it out to a 29 year old.

Inana -- I suspected my ex gay too.. he wasn't.

No excuses.

he wouldnt have sex with you cuz you became overweight and you stayed for 7 yrs before cheating? something doesnt add up.

cheating is still cheating

cant justify because its emotional cheating


whats the madonna complex?

weird...

dude couldve been impotent for all you know and too scared to say anything

Posted by Metaphysical
he wouldnt have sex with you cuz you became overweight and you stayed for 7 yrs before cheating? something doesnt add up.

cheating is still cheating

cant justify because its emotional cheating


whats the madonna complex?

grow up!

could have a fear of her leaving him, how many women would stay or support their man if they came out with that?

omg.. now we are taking marriage counselling by some 29 yr old male.

FUM, i dont know what went on so help me understand. im not even trying to be facetious here. i read the 7 yrs part, and you said that what OP encountered was the same thing that happened to you. so you gained weight and your cap wasnt attracted to you anymore, no?

bottomline i dont condone cheaters no matter what. no excuse for it.

people always tell one side of the story

you said "lovers" too, indicating more than one

Posted by Metaphysical
FUM, i dont know what went on so help me understand. im not even trying to be facetious here. i read the 7 yrs part, and you said that what OP encountered was the same thing that happened to you. so you gained weight and your cap wasnt attracted to you anymore, no?

bottomline i dont condone cheaters no matter what. no excuse for it.

people always tell one side of the story

you said "lovers" too, indicating more than one

None of the above, sweety.

CN's marriage has outlived itself. Let's say you are with your girlfriend, who tells you, you have small dick.. that's why she doesn't want to sleep with you.. or whatever reason.. let's say, you had surgery on your ass and you have a hole on your cheek and she says, "ewwww... I don't wanna touch you anymore"

Would you want to stay with her?

What would it mean to you, if the girl you have dated for years... and let's say for two years she is pulling these things on you... would you want to stay with her?

then why did you stay

id be out the door before you finished

Nothing to communicate. He doesn't love her anymore. Unless he is old and his hormones have hit rock bottom, then I can understand.

Posted by Metaphysical
then why did you stay

id be out the door before you finished

I believed all will be good again.

Then I had an unlucky streak... like money problems.. common house.. if I had to get a divorce.. judge would give my long-worked house to him.. or even if I had to split, I wouldn't be able to pay off... .. no job.. no money.. no house... and if I had to share a place, I prefered sharing with my old man instead of some stranger.

So I had a pact.

so for security

what was his excuse when you asked?

"He used to say, yes I want to... tomorrow." (tomorrow never came!)

"Yes, I find you desirable, but I am not in the mood."

"I am tired... "(turned his back and slept).

Things like that... it was never the right moment.

After a long trial period, I told him it was over. I will look for another man, because I cannot live like this. He said, go ahead, just don't bring them home.

I was angry.

Posted by lnana04
Btw, what is the schedule like if you dont mind me asking? 4-5 times a month etc? Better..worse?

Worse...once a month. We are both in our 30's so that in itself is disheartening. As an update, we've been in counseling and were told we needed to work on our friendship. Apparently, we didn't focus on that enough. So, now he's saying it's exactly why he's not into being intimate with me as much, because he needs us to build our friendship so that he'll have more of that natural desire to connect with me. I know friendship is an essential key to a solid relationship but call me crazy I thought we had that already.