Wanted!!!!!

You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Profile picture of SagChick411
SagChick411
@SagChick411
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 46 · Posts: 1157 · Topics: 46
Posted by cowpuncher
Posted by WoundedLeo
CowPuncher, I won't have you pimping on me. No money making off of me for you. Let me at that Colt .38 now to use on you :-P



No, no, no, no.... I said "Man whore". See, what we can do here is provide a service for all of you gals out there starved for some Earthsign male companionship. YOU, madam, would be on the paying end.

Have trouble meeting earth-sign guys because Caps take too long to get to know, virgos are too shy, and taureans are staying on their home pasture rather than getting out? Consider bringing your troubles, and your money, to "Capriporn, Inc!" We specialize in pairing fine, deserving, well-moneyed ladies with quality, masculine, Earth-sign men for temporary commitments for a nominal fee!

Ever wanted to go goaty with a Cap, but you don't want to take 6 months to get past his walls, and go through the torment of meeting and dealing with his precious family? Try a Capriporn Inc overnighter package! No wasted 6 month time investment, no complaining, domineering mother to meet!

Ever wanted to frolic in the field with Ferdinand the Bull.. but you just can't seem to find his pasture when he's in rut? Ever want to see if those virguys really do turn into a tyrannosaurus in their perfectly clean and sanitized bedroom? Capriporn Inc can also meet your needs, with a fine offering of Taurus males and virguys for your grazing and mess-making pleasure!

Capriporn Inc is an Equal Opportunity Employer.
click to expand




LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Profile picture of GemsRaGalsBestPal
GemsRaGalsBestPal
@GemsRaGalsBestPal
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2595 · Topics: 52
Posted by cowpuncher
Dear Valued Leo Customer,

We apologise for the lateness of our reply, as our CEO is currently a bit under the weather. Despite being a marketing visionary, he had the ill-fated idea last night to print up a bunch of "Free Samples" fliers. They were to be given out when business is slow, a few at a time, so as to manage their redemption rate and drum up new business when needed. Unfortunately, his shrewd Capricorn mind for business (read: tightwad ways) made him choose to have them printed in bulk professionally, rather than a few at a time from his own printer at the office. This saved him approximately $ 0.37 after taxes. It is spring here, and windy. While driving across the bridge on his way back to the office from the Printers, these "Free Samples" coupons were blown out of his truck and into the river: Where the Pisces girls found them.

Normally this would be no major issue, as our CEO is a hard worker with lots of Goaty stamina, but it is March, and the fish are in roe. They run in large schools of hundreds, even thousands. Furthermore, they can carry up to 10,000 eggs each, and nature gives them a single-minded determination to swim against the current and have them seen to by a male. These ladies know a deal when they see it, and redeeming some "Free Samples" coupons en masse, rather than swimming 500 miles upstream just to get laid once, looks like a great bargain to anybody.

Despite the legendary stash of ammo he usually has hidden away, we fear that our Cowboy in Chief has ran out of bullets for a while, and will not be in the saddle again for the remainder of this week. It could take him as long as 3 days to reload this time. We apologise for the inconvenience, and will schedule a session for you at the price offered by you, but with the substitution of Chocolate upside-down cake rather than cranberry, as soon as his shooting iron is fit for duty again. Normally, for your inconvenience, we would offer you a "Freebie", but after last night's swim with the fishes, the words "Free Sample" give our CEO a mild panic attack.

Regards,
Capriporn, Inc.

Capriporn Inc: When a dirty girl needs a dirty boy, go with an Earth Sign guy!



Nominated for best all time DXP post.
Profile picture of GemsRaGalsBestPal
GemsRaGalsBestPal
@GemsRaGalsBestPal
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2595 · Topics: 52
Is.... "Haven't you left yet?" too much talking?

What about... "You didn't think you were staying the night did you?".

Or....

"Be a dear and walk the dogs before you leave."
"Could you make sure I've set out the coffee grinder for the morning before you leave?"
"The door has a lock you can turn from the inside on your way out."


You catch my drift.
Profile picture of venusianbull
venusianbull
@venusianbull
15 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
Dear Capriporn Inc. :

Your sister company, Sensuous Bull & Heifer— would like to thank you for your acceptance of this weeks proposal for a hedonistic extravaganza of fine dining, remote shopping and teaching of proper meat handling.

We are hopeful that your pistol does not prematurely fire and that all pins, bolts and sights are in correct working order. The members of the board have conferred and we would also like to impart the deep delight we share in Earth & Earth culmination.

Please rest assured if the week for any reason is dissatisfactory on either part, all fees will be reimbursed.

Sincerely,

S, B & H

Because a Dirty Boy, most definitely deserves a Dirty Girl.
First
Previous
Next
Last