cappysweetie
@cappysweetie
19 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 2 · Posts: 23862 · Topics: 499
Well, I'll Be Damned ...
The question is what are you going to do when he shows up again. Are you going to reward him with giving him more of your time and attention for disappearing?
You didn't scare him, men disappear when they spend a lot of time with one woman, when they want to keep there options open, if he's not ready for something deeper and more permanent then he will throw a wrench in the mix and disappear. Try being a bit more unpredicatable, break a few dates, don't be so availabe when he finally shows up and before everyone jumps on the I'm not playing games band wagon, I'm not advocating that, I'm saying if you want a better result try something different. Men get bored when things get too familiar, I really wouldn't worry about it, keep living your life and being busy, he will show up again but you have to be prepared to either break his pattern or put up with it.
Men also disappear when something has been said or done thats a turn off or when they feel like things are stagnant, now I'm not saying you said or did anything but theres a possibility, once that happens a man will freeze a woman out by ignoring her if he doesn't want to confront the issue. No contact for more than 2 days is a no no, thats not a relationship, it doesn't take but a minute to text or call someone.
Could be he's just distracted with life, with family, friends and hobbies, I wouldn't go so far as blaming self, he's not the first or the last and no matter how great the woman is, if he's not ready for a long term situation (if he's still unsure) he will find a way to distance himself from time to time until he can figure it out.
You didn't scare him, men disappear when they spend a lot of time with one woman, when they want to keep there options open, if he's not ready for something deeper and more permanent then he will throw a wrench in the mix and disappear. Try being a bit more unpredicatable, break a few dates, don't be so availabe when he finally shows up and before everyone jumps on the I'm not playing games band wagon, I'm not advocating that, I'm saying if you want a better result try something different. Men get bored when things get too familiar, I really wouldn't worry about it, keep living your life and being busy, he will show up again but you have to be prepared to either break his pattern or put up with it.
Men also disappear when something has been said or done thats a turn off or when they feel like things are stagnant, now I'm not saying you said or did anything but theres a possibility, once that happens a man will freeze a woman out by ignoring her if he doesn't want to confront the issue. No contact for more than 2 days is a no no, thats not a relationship, it doesn't take but a minute to text or call someone.
Could be he's just distracted with life, with family, friends and hobbies, I wouldn't go so far as blaming self, he's not the first or the last and no matter how great the woman is, if he's not ready for a long term situation (if he's still unsure) he will find a way to distance himself from time to time until he can figure it out.
Thank you so much tiki and Sagi 🙂 🙂 🙂
You two made me feel better. It was just so wierd, he was like the first guy I've been out with (finally) who didn't give off "Hey I'm a marker" vibes after a while. LOL, as some would say, he looks really good on paper but actions speak louder then words. He focus on othee things involving his career.
I'm not sure if I said anything to turn him off or what, but last time we spoke he seemed very excited but doing "non" work related things and he wanted to know my schedule and so on and so on. So now that I haven't heard from him, its shocking and slightly disheartening.
He has stated that his children are important to him and he's trying to become stable so he can spoil them to death (: There are other aspects of him life that are questionable but I will not make them public because I don't really understand some things.
He never gave me the impression that he wanted sex but he did hint that our lives together would be interesting and that we need each other.
You two made me feel better. It was just so wierd, he was like the first guy I've been out with (finally) who didn't give off "Hey I'm a marker" vibes after a while. LOL, as some would say, he looks really good on paper but actions speak louder then words. He focus on othee things involving his career.
I'm not sure if I said anything to turn him off or what, but last time we spoke he seemed very excited but doing "non" work related things and he wanted to know my schedule and so on and so on. So now that I haven't heard from him, its shocking and slightly disheartening.
He has stated that his children are important to him and he's trying to become stable so he can spoil them to death (: There are other aspects of him life that are questionable but I will not make them public because I don't really understand some things.
He never gave me the impression that he wanted sex but he did hint that our lives together would be interesting and that we need each other.
I am pissed so if I do hear from him again, I don't know if I'll answer. If I see him again, I may just keep walking ... not unless he comes to my job, which is where we met.
The problem is, I'm kind of piss, and I don't want to deal with him but he knows where I work and knows where I live. Sooo hmmm ....
The problem is, I'm kind of piss, and I don't want to deal with him but he knows where I work and knows where I live. Sooo hmmm ....
Last time we spoke, he mensioned how young I was and how difficult it would be for me to understand certain things. LOL, he spoke like my father, he's only like seven years older then me! I'm 23 and he's 31, what's his deal?
Maybe its because he has two young daughters and he thinks I'm too young to take care of them. Hahaha, although one of my jobs consist of working with kids everyday so ...
I don't know, I don't feel like I should be to upset because he didn't really hurt me ... but at the same time I felt he lead me to believe in things that he wasn't ready for yet.
Maybe its because he has two young daughters and he thinks I'm too young to take care of them. Hahaha, although one of my jobs consist of working with kids everyday so ...
I don't know, I don't feel like I should be to upset because he didn't really hurt me ... but at the same time I felt he lead me to believe in things that he wasn't ready for yet.
oops sorry for the mistake, wasn't wearing my glasses d:
DC,
No, I have not had sex with him yet 🙂 I'm smart 😉 because of the past, I would never sleep with the guy unless I know there's a future. Like, he has to show me other things before I drop my undies 😉
Now, I'll be honest, a few weeks ago ... I wanted to. But, there was something not quite right. I would have felt like a stress reliver to him because of the way things are going with his job and no ... didn't want to get into that situation, no matter how much I wanted him 🙂
No, I have not had sex with him yet 🙂 I'm smart 😉 because of the past, I would never sleep with the guy unless I know there's a future. Like, he has to show me other things before I drop my undies 😉
Now, I'll be honest, a few weeks ago ... I wanted to. But, there was something not quite right. I would have felt like a stress reliver to him because of the way things are going with his job and no ... didn't want to get into that situation, no matter how much I wanted him 🙂
That is more my train of thought, I don't think you should treat him as a bad person, if he didn't actually did something bad to you. One thing that I can see is that you are in a different place and adjustment is needed on both sides. You may like each other but when it comes to relationship, you will have to build a life together, he has two daughters and working on stability and you're in a different place in that sense. I think he may be confused, afraid or unsure, who knows? How you feel is understandable. So you can let it go but no need to hold anything against him, until he gives you a reason to.
Okay JD 🙂 You have a point. I'm sure what to do at this point because if his friends see me with someone else, they will tell him. However (😉), he's not available enough, so why should he be upset ... Right —??
This is part of the reason why he doesn't trust me, he feels if his back is turned, I will go off with someone else. I'm sorry, but I can't wait a lifetime for a man that doesn't know what the hell he wants to do. I'm not getting any younger here (*blush*) I want stability.
Okay JD 🙂 You have a point. I'm sure what to do at this point because if his friends see me with someone else, they will tell him. However (😉), he's not available enough, so why should he be upset ... Right —??
This is part of the reason why he doesn't trust me, he feels if his back is turned, I will go off with someone else. I'm sorry, but I can't wait a lifetime for a man that doesn't know what the hell he wants to do. I'm not getting any younger here (*blush*) I want stability.
Cappywench ... his birthday is Aug 22 too ................
Oh no ... and he can be bossy. I'm sorry that happened to your pisces friend and I'm sorry for the loss of her son's father.
Oh no ... and he can be bossy. I'm sorry that happened to your pisces friend and I'm sorry for the loss of her son's father.
Basically,
So everyone believes that he will be back, that he not gone forever?
Well, he needs to be, because I'm sooo not going to be the same person if I see or hear from him again. If he wanted space, all he had to do was say so, he didn't have to run like a wolf in the night. He claims to be such an 'honest' guy, will he should have never stated (yes, it came out of his mouth) that he wanted more then friendship.
So everyone believes that he will be back, that he not gone forever?
Well, he needs to be, because I'm sooo not going to be the same person if I see or hear from him again. If he wanted space, all he had to do was say so, he didn't have to run like a wolf in the night. He claims to be such an 'honest' guy, will he should have never stated (yes, it came out of his mouth) that he wanted more then friendship.
No problem DC,
I am 23 years old 🙂 He's 31 years old.
I am 23 years old 🙂 He's 31 years old.
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I'm not sad, but I am disappointed and puzzled.
He's the only guy I've ever scared away and I'm not a scary person ...
Maybe I am alittle sad ... I guess sense he never showed the signs of "I'm getting ready to disappeared". If anything, he worried that I would disappear on him, and look, he's done it to me ...