Ang
@Ang
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 89 · Topics: 10
What to do if you know Cap guy is cheating?
He's a creep...Nothing to do about it though. You'll just be called the psycho bitch that can't get over him and possibly open yourself up to be bullied and abused online and maybe in person.
The best thing you can do is RUN...Stop contact, delete, erase and don't look back.
She'll find out about him sooner or later but it's not your job/responsibility to warn her but if you do warn her it could backfire because he most likely uses a certain persona to make her feel safe which includes her trusting him through and through.
You won't accomplish anything by warning her and you'll appear way too emotionally invested in him which will make you appear untrustworthy and he'll just turn it around on you. She'll believe him not you.
The best thing you can do is RUN...Stop contact, delete, erase and don't look back.
She'll find out about him sooner or later but it's not your job/responsibility to warn her but if you do warn her it could backfire because he most likely uses a certain persona to make her feel safe which includes her trusting him through and through.
You won't accomplish anything by warning her and you'll appear way too emotionally invested in him which will make you appear untrustworthy and he'll just turn it around on you. She'll believe him not you.
our circles don't overlap at all and I really don't know her except for the fact that I happen to have both of their instagrams.
I was thinking if I could find out if they were dating or not first since if they were truly just friends then there's no point in ruining his reputation.
I have all the texts he's sent me to prove. I completely trusted him when I was seeing him because he would constantly say things to tell me he was serious about it. I trusted, fell, and then had everything taken away literally 3 days after he said I should start going over to his place on weekdays since I just started a new job in the city where he lives. I guess he's probably doing the same thing to lure the new girl in...this makes me sad because she looks like a really nice person in her pictures. I just wish she's smarter than me.
I was thinking if I could find out if they were dating or not first since if they were truly just friends then there's no point in ruining his reputation.
I have all the texts he's sent me to prove. I completely trusted him when I was seeing him because he would constantly say things to tell me he was serious about it. I trusted, fell, and then had everything taken away literally 3 days after he said I should start going over to his place on weekdays since I just started a new job in the city where he lives. I guess he's probably doing the same thing to lure the new girl in...this makes me sad because she looks like a really nice person in her pictures. I just wish she's smarter than me.
I understand what you're wanting to do. But Tiki is right. She will confront him and he will paint you to be the crazy one and convince her he is innocent and she will believe him.
Just cut contact and move on. He's not even worth being friends with.
Just cut contact and move on. He's not even worth being friends with.
1.I stopped reading once I read that he told you he was still seeing the other girl but still wanted you in his mix too. That 1 sentence alone speaks volumes & ought to tell you everything you need to know.
2. Of course he was all over you. He just wanted to sleep with you. What he calls "hanging out" is really code for him being around you long enough until you're finally comfortable & ready to give up the panties. And hey, it's not a man's fault that all he has to do to get her panties is to spend 30 minutes with her or watch a movie with her.
3. If this guy is as big of a known player as you say he is, chances are the other girl already knows. Let it sink in that some women will know this and will STILL want to claim guys like him. We become naive when we automatically think that a woman is only still with a man b/c she doesn't know his demons. NOT TRUE.
4. Why look on instagram for proof that they're still an item when he's already TOLD you that they are? You wanting to do all this "research" doesn't suggest that you wanna tell her b/c you feel sorry for her, but moreso it screams that you are obsessing over a situation, wanting to be nosy & wanting to use what evidence you find to tell the other woman as a means of hurting HIM (not helping her).
5. If what he's doing is SO wrong that you feel the other woman needs to know, then why are you still entertaining him? He should've never had the opportunity to sit on your couch & tell you all of his business b/c you should've never opened your door to him in the 1st place. You can't entertain a man but then go another woman that she shouldn't be entertaining him.
6. If you tell her, you can't leave out that he was on YOUR couch & in YOUR house when he 1st told you about them. This detail alone would be cause for much suspicion in her eyes. She probably knows that she's not the only 1. And if he's getting all of the benefits w/o having to commit to her, then she's probably not the kind of girl to run like hell when another woman tells her the real deal. She's sitting on his couch at night too giving him everything she's got even though she's not getting the same in return b/c something within her lacks self-esteem & enables her to settle. Women who are OK with settling in the 1st place typically don't freak out & run away for good when another woman comes around & "warns" her. Women like this usually fall for the "Oh don't listen to her baby, she's just jealous" line that a man will use on
2. Of course he was all over you. He just wanted to sleep with you. What he calls "hanging out" is really code for him being around you long enough until you're finally comfortable & ready to give up the panties. And hey, it's not a man's fault that all he has to do to get her panties is to spend 30 minutes with her or watch a movie with her.
3. If this guy is as big of a known player as you say he is, chances are the other girl already knows. Let it sink in that some women will know this and will STILL want to claim guys like him. We become naive when we automatically think that a woman is only still with a man b/c she doesn't know his demons. NOT TRUE.
4. Why look on instagram for proof that they're still an item when he's already TOLD you that they are? You wanting to do all this "research" doesn't suggest that you wanna tell her b/c you feel sorry for her, but moreso it screams that you are obsessing over a situation, wanting to be nosy & wanting to use what evidence you find to tell the other woman as a means of hurting HIM (not helping her).
5. If what he's doing is SO wrong that you feel the other woman needs to know, then why are you still entertaining him? He should've never had the opportunity to sit on your couch & tell you all of his business b/c you should've never opened your door to him in the 1st place. You can't entertain a man but then go another woman that she shouldn't be entertaining him.
6. If you tell her, you can't leave out that he was on YOUR couch & in YOUR house when he 1st told you about them. This detail alone would be cause for much suspicion in her eyes. She probably knows that she's not the only 1. And if he's getting all of the benefits w/o having to commit to her, then she's probably not the kind of girl to run like hell when another woman tells her the real deal. She's sitting on his couch at night too giving him everything she's got even though she's not getting the same in return b/c something within her lacks self-esteem & enables her to settle. Women who are OK with settling in the 1st place typically don't freak out & run away for good when another woman comes around & "warns" her. Women like this usually fall for the "Oh don't listen to her baby, she's just jealous" line that a man will use on
... Women like this usually fall for the "Oh don't listen to her baby, she's just jealous" line that a man will use once he finds out that you told her.
7. Stop trying to figure out the WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE & WHY. It's 1 thing to stick around enough until you get the confirmation that you're not the only 1 but to keep on "observing" is just you torturing yourself. You had that confirmation a long time ago, so what else is there to find out? And if there's more to the story, why do you wanna know if the BIG PICTURE of him being the WRONG guy for you has already been spelled out for you?!
Let it go! Let him go! You didn't run at the 1st sign of trouble with him (b/c if you did, you wouldn't have entertained him again), so why would she?! You fell for his manipulation & she probably will too. Just is what it is. You can't save everybody. Worry about saving yourself 1st! Make sure YOU can keep yourself out from under his arms FIRST before you go trying to encourage another woman to get out from under him
7. Stop trying to figure out the WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE & WHY. It's 1 thing to stick around enough until you get the confirmation that you're not the only 1 but to keep on "observing" is just you torturing yourself. You had that confirmation a long time ago, so what else is there to find out? And if there's more to the story, why do you wanna know if the BIG PICTURE of him being the WRONG guy for you has already been spelled out for you?!
Let it go! Let him go! You didn't run at the 1st sign of trouble with him (b/c if you did, you wouldn't have entertained him again), so why would she?! You fell for his manipulation & she probably will too. Just is what it is. You can't save everybody. Worry about saving yourself 1st! Make sure YOU can keep yourself out from under his arms FIRST before you go trying to encourage another woman to get out from under him
I know it's hard to understand why I would even let him back as a friend. However, he told me he was battling clinical depression and I feel like I shouldn't just shut him out of my life. It is obviously something he tries to keep it to himself and perhaps only people who are close to him. He said his therapist wanted him to take anti-depressant which he turned down thinking the side effects would make things worse. Anyways, I'm just trying to say I didn't want to be the one to turn against him when he was psychologically in bad shape because I didn't want to be that "last person he contacted before he did something self-destructive"...
It has been hard to drop him because we have similar family background and issues. However, I know and will drop him because I don't want to waste my time and energy anymore. I just hope that ther'ss a happy middle ground where we can just be friends and talk about things in life.
It has been hard to drop him because we have similar family background and issues. However, I know and will drop him because I don't want to waste my time and energy anymore. I just hope that ther'ss a happy middle ground where we can just be friends and talk about things in life.
Posted by Ang
I know it's hard to understand why I would even let him back as a friend. However, he told me he was battling clinical depression and I feel like I shouldn't just shut him out of my life. It is obviously something he tries to keep it to himself and perhaps only people who are close to him. He said his therapist wanted him to take anti-depressant which he turned down thinking the side effects would make things worse. Anyways, I'm just trying to say I didn't want to be the one to turn against him when he was psychologically in bad shape because I didn't want to be that "last person he contacted before he did something self-destructive"...
It has been hard to drop him because we have similar family background and issues. However, I know and will drop him because I don't want to waste my time and energy anymore. I just hope that ther'ss a happy middle ground where we can just be friends and talk about things in life.
Well, we told you it would be okay to see him and talk - as friends. It's okay you did. But, now you know what he wants and maybe it'll be easier to cut him loose now.
"...I know and will drop him because I don't want to waste my time and energy anymore. I just hope that there's a happy middle ground where we can just be friends and talk about things in life."
You know you'll drop him because you don't want to waste anymore time, yet you still hope to be friends? What kind of logic is that?
Him being depressed is not your problem so he needs to take care of that with his therapist/doctors. And forget about "warning" the other girl because that's not your responsibility either. Depressed or not, this man seems shady and the fact that he's still in your life doesn't make sense.
You know you'll drop him because you don't want to waste anymore time, yet you still hope to be friends? What kind of logic is that?
Him being depressed is not your problem so he needs to take care of that with his therapist/doctors. And forget about "warning" the other girl because that's not your responsibility either. Depressed or not, this man seems shady and the fact that he's still in your life doesn't make sense.
Just leave. He has depression? He can't lean on you for favors, he needs to find it in himself to get out of his depression. This is the same thing my scorp ex does, sans seeing other women. It's the "I am always so happy with you", "you make me feel better," "I don't know if I'd be alive without you", on and on. I've told him the same thing. If he wants to be happy, he can't expect me to be the constant source of his happiness.
You need to get the fuck out of that situation. ASAP. He doesn't want to be just friends, that's very obvious. Don't feel guilty about leaving it either. You need to consider yourself, not him. He screwed you over, now he's screwing someone else over. There is no reasonable excuse in the world to make that "okay".
Seriously. Run.
You need to get the fuck out of that situation. ASAP. He doesn't want to be just friends, that's very obvious. Don't feel guilty about leaving it either. You need to consider yourself, not him. He screwed you over, now he's screwing someone else over. There is no reasonable excuse in the world to make that "okay".
Seriously. Run.
And no. From what I've seen, don't tell her. She'll find out. He can and just may make you look like you're the sociopathic ex from hell and an incredible liar. That you're still in love with him and will do whatever it takes to get him back on his side. I've heard it all.
What goes around comes around, trust it.
What goes around comes around, trust it.
Posted by Ang
I know it's hard to understand why I would even let him back as a friend. However, he told me he was battling clinical depression and I feel like I shouldn't just shut him out of my life. It is obviously something he tries to keep it to himself and perhaps only people who are close to him. He said his therapist wanted him to take anti-depressant which he turned down thinking the side effects would make things worse. Anyways, I'm just trying to say I didn't want to be the one to turn against him when he was psychologically in bad shape because I didn't want to be that "last person he contacted before he did something self-destructive"...
It has been hard to drop him because we have similar family background and issues. However, I know and will drop him because I don't want to waste my time and energy anymore. I just hope that ther'ss a happy middle ground where we can just be friends and talk about things in life.
Clinical depression? C'mon, depressed people don't have the strength to have so many partners. Wake up.
Sounds more like hypersexual disorder.
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Clinical depression? C'mon, depressed people don't have the strength to have so many partners. Wake up.
+1
...I deleted the post. I really have nothing to add to this thread.
Some good points made already.
Some good points made already.
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