Who can I love? Has any Cap woman found true love?

First post, here goes.... I'm a 38 y/o (39 on 01/12) 6 year divorced female. I am Capricorn Sun, Libra Moon. I married a Scorpio. We dated 4 years, married 5, total 9, then divorced. Wrong man for me, No love lost.

Well, since my divorce I have been in 3 intimate friendships; first with a Sagittarius; then a Taurus that lasted no time but he swept me off my feet so quick and currently with a Libra.

Now my issue is with each of these relationships I find myself not being able to be my true self because basically they just don't understand me so I end up dumbing myself down, hiding things about myself, how I feel, lying just for the sake of getting along. I ended up here with you guys trying to find ways to interact with my new Libra friend (new ways to be fake), but in being on this site the past few days and reading comments from other Caps, I feel at home, lol. I have no idea for the life of me what makes me so different and hard to get along with. It was good in the beginning with the Sag but then all we did was argue, My Taurus friend understood me a little, I think and now my Libra guy, I'm getting to know him but he seems to fly like the wind and that makes me nervous but overall I'm a very simple girl and it doesn't take much to make me happy.

The situation: As soon as I realize (or assume) I can't (1) be myself with; (2) build anything solid with; or (3) pour all my love into, a man/these men, I just keep them around for sex or just for companionship here and there, but mainly sex BUT I honestly fantasize about being in love and having a companion that I can talk to, be vulnerable with.... just have someone that's brave enough to stick around, get to know me, understand me, love me anyway and stay. The whole truth is, I want someone to love so bad.... and just imagining them loving me back makes my heart feel so warm. Now in reality, I just don't think it's going to happen. But whether it does or not, I'm a smart enough girl to know that I can't continue this foolishness with these knowingly wrong men. And then I tell myself, Love?. tah, That's for suckas anyway!

Dont ever dumb yourself down for anyone. Just be yourself, if they cant handle who you are they wont be able to when you reveal it later. Its not fair to you or potential partners to "fake". I have learned to just wear it all, show it to the world. We are all mad here, better to find the person who loves your brand of madness I say. Some here would say that you are acting like a libra lol Just be you, dont waste your time on people who cant accept that, you will end up resenting him and the relationship.

Don't settle...

Be more open about what you need...

She is acting like a Libra BC that is her moon( her needs including emotional needs)

You should have spoke up sooner honey...


Get you a real man...

Time is ticking ( don't force it and don't settle).

Sounds simple huh?

LOL, I know faking is wrong and You mentioned "show it all" but that's just it, It seems to me no one can handle who I am. Ppl always tell me I should act, think, be another way so that's what I try to do so that I'm likeable I guess.... When I "be me" no one stays. thanks so much for commenting

Posted by Mimi38
LOL, I know faking is wrong and You mentioned "show it all" but that's just it, It seems to me no one can handle who I am. Ppl always tell me I should act, think, be another way so that's what I try to do so that I'm likeable I guess.... When I "be me" no one stays. thanks so much for commenting

What is your first house
Neptune and Mars form starters?

That would give us clearer indicators of your identity issues...

Hey, yes sounds too simple but it's been a real struggle for me to find someone that can half understand what I need in a relationship.

I appreciate that so much but I have no idea.

What about the Libra makes you feel like you can't be yourself? Libran's usually bring out the best in people and are super accepting of our partner's flaws. Be yourself...you have nothing to hide. Libra will love you through and through.

Posted by Impulsv
"have no idea for the life of me what makes me so different and hard to get along with. I"
It's ur false belief system thinking u won't find someone who can accept u as u are n that ur difficult to be with. This is a lie that u bring on to urself. How because once u know they are wrong u should have dumped them but u keep them for sex n then they dump u . N u keep telling urself it was u when in fact if u would have been honest with urself u would have dumped them in the first place ur story would cease to exist.

Lesson live authenticly

Thank you, That is exactly how it goes... in the end I'm still alone. I can be myself but the moment someone says something or acts a way toward me because of something I say, do or even the way I think (family), I don't stand my ground, I just run away. Still ending up alone. It seems the only people that enjoy my company are coworkers on every job I've ever had. They love me but family and male friends tell me I'm difficult so I believe them and I just be quiet, hide OR by new solution BEING FAKE, lol. I'm going to stop that though. I'm a wreck. Thank you Impusv.

Posted by FlirtyLibra
What about the Libra makes you feel like you can't be yourself? Libran's usually bring out the best in people and are super accepting of our partner's flaws. Be yourself...you have nothing to hide. Libra will love you through and through.

I know he thinks I'm boring already and it's only been 6 weeks, so here I go "pretending" that I enjoy going to all these outings and meeting all these strange people when all I really want to do is watch is a movie. That's not boring to me.

Oh and he "asks" me to compliment him. LOL But I just smile and tell him something good. Ugh! He does have a lot of qualities I like but daaang.

And lastly, he is so quiet. I wonder what's up with that. Verbal communication is a 3 on a scale to 10. All he does is listen and it's crazy to me because he approached me wanting to get to know me. He wants to be on the phone all the time but he just holds the phone. When we're together he just looks. Getting a good convo out of him is like pulling teeth and that's a major issue for me but here I am, 7 weeks in, pretending like I'm cool with it.

Posted by frostey91

Posted by Mimi38
LOL, I know faking is wrong and You mentioned "show it all" but that's just it, It seems to me no one can handle who I am. Ppl always tell me I should act, think, be another way so that's what I try to do so that I'm likeable I guess.... When I "be me" no one stays. thanks so much for commenting

What is your first house
Neptune and Mars form starters?

That would give us clearer indicators of your identity issues...

click to expand

Can someone tell me more about the Libra moon stuff and its part in being emotional... I cried on my way to work this morning and don't know why. I always cry when I can't even point out what's wrong. Old coworkers used to tell me it was my heart crying because tears would just form in my eyes while talking to people about certain things. Often times I can't control it, like for instant sick babies, I cry. St. Jude commercial, I cry. Any movie (cartoon, dog show) anything with a happy ending, I cry (sometimes I'm so embarrassed I hide). No one close to me knows this.

You cant buy a vibrator and be alone for a little while until you find the right person. I dont change my ways or who I am for anyone unless their advice resonates with me and will improve me as a person. You really should have your cap card revoked for being so weak. Your libra sounds awful. I cant be with someone who doesnt have the brain to converse with me, I would drop him in a hot second.

Posted by Mimi38

Posted by frostey91

Posted by Mimi38
LOL, I know faking is wrong and You mentioned "show it all" but that's just it, It seems to me no one can handle who I am. Ppl always tell me I should act, think, be another way so that's what I try to do so that I'm likeable I guess.... When I "be me" no one stays. thanks so much for commenting

What is your first house
Neptune and Mars form starters?

That would give us clearer indicators of your identity issues...

Can someone tell me more about the Libra moon stuff and its part in being emotional... I cried on my way to work this morning and don't know why. I always cry when I can't even point out what's wrong. Old coworkers used to tell me it was my heart crying because tears would just form in my eyes while talking to people about certain things. Often times I can't control it, like for instant sick babies, I cry. St. Jude commercial, I cry. Any movie (cartoon, dog show) anything with a happy ending, I cry (sometimes I'm so embarrassed I hide). No one close to me knows this.

click to expand

Caps are deeply emotional contrary to popular belief. One again you dont embrace yourself and act as if this is a problem.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Pardon my Aqua Venus, but this is why it's great to mentally approach romantic relationships the same as friendships. Our friends, our siblings... they get to see the all of us and, despite the love/hate dynamic that can cause, no one sticks up for you as loyally as your bffs and sibs. In turn, you'll be much happier in the long run if your SO learns to appreciate both your strengths and your weaknesses.

Mentally approaching romantic relationships, Help me out, How do I do that? ...

Posted by KittenLaRouge
You cant buy a vibrator and be alone for a little while until you find the right person. I dont change my ways or who I am for anyone unless their advice resonates with me and will improve me as a person. You really should have your cap card revoked for being so weak. Your libra sounds awful. I cant be with someone who doesnt have the brain to converse with me, I would drop him in a hot second.

Nooo don't revoke my Cap card but yea I am very weak and I'm here seeking advice. If I wanted to get bashed I would have went to my family with these issues. This is me being honest. I used to have it altogether. I was once so confident and sure. Now, not so much about anything anymore. And maybe you can tell me more about my Libra (sounding awful), I thought it was just life's blows and I was weary.

HA! A vibrator, yea I guess I could. Never even thought about it.

And about the conversing part, yeah it is driving me crazy but he's a nice guy so far so I should drop him?.. I was giving him a break thinking he needed time to open up or something but I'm learning this is me settling...

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by Mimi38

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Pardon my Aqua Venus, but this is why it's great to mentally approach romantic relationships the same as friendships. Our friends, our siblings... they get to see the all of us and, despite the love/hate dynamic that can cause, no one sticks up for you as loyally as your bffs and sibs. In turn, you'll be much happier in the long run if your SO learns to appreciate both your strengths and your weaknesses.

Mentally approaching romantic relationships, Help me out, How do I do that? ...

Try to rewire yourself not to freak out and overthink it. Allow yourself to be open, be caught off guard, be honest. Think of it as hanging out with a friend. Easier said than done, I know, but it's rewarding. You'd be surprised at how much ground you cover when you bypass all the fuss. Cuts down on confusion. Encourages communication. Good stuff.

click to expand

Thaaaank you, How do you know I freak out? I overthink too. My goodness, you are good. Ok, today, I'm going to try to lighten up and not put so much thought into everything. Approach my new guy mentally as I would a regular friend (because that's all we really are), It's me with the foolery of being in love and trying to change myself to be what I think he likes. Tryna Fake it until I Make it - I'm so glad I found you guys. I've been making a mess. (sad face)

Posted by KittenLaRouge

Posted by Mimi38

Posted by frostey91

Posted by Mimi38
LOL, I know faking is wrong and You mentioned "show it all" but that's just it, It seems to me no one can handle who I am. Ppl always tell me I should act, think, be another way so that's what I try to do so that I'm likeable I guess.... When I "be me" no one stays. thanks so much for commenting

What is your first house
Neptune and Mars form starters?

That would give us clearer indicators of your identity issues...

Can someone tell me more about the Libra moon stuff and its part in being emotional... I cried on my way to work this morning and don't know why. I always cry when I can't even point out what's wrong. Old coworkers used to tell me it was my heart crying because tears would just form in my eyes while talking to people about certain things. Often times I can't control it, like for instant sick babies, I cry. St. Jude commercial, I cry. Any movie (cartoon, dog show) anything with a happy ending, I cry (sometimes I'm so embarrassed I hide). No one close to me knows this.

Caps are deeply emotional contrary to popular belief. One again you dont embrace yourself and act as if this is a problem.

click to expand

Yea I see what you're saying I act like this is a problem because it seems to be a problem for the people around me. I'm the only Cap in my whole family. If they aren't telling me I'm too sensitive, then I'm too mean so either way I get left out unless I suppress who I am. I love myself though and I think I'm hilarious so I have my own parties at home by myself.

Posted by Sugarfoot
You know, it could be that because you don't show your true self to the guys you date, they instinctively aren't showing you themselves either. Then you never develop true intimacy with anyone.

I had that problem in my previous relationship. I felt totally uncomfortable being my true self around him. I never felt quite safe. I'm just like that. I don't know what the difference is between the people who get all of me and people who get the more reserved version.

Even in my marriage, I never felt safe with him. He never saw my cry, even when my mom passed but was because I couldn't. If he saw me weak he ran over me so I was always strong and in charge on the outside and dying silently on the inside from sadness. I married him though, settling, not wanting to be alone. But I was anyway.

Thank you.

I'm a Cap woman with Libra moon. You have to set your own standards in what you want, this was a problem with me as well when I was younger. I'd always go along with what they wanted because it wasn't like I really liked the guy but I just wanted to be nice to them all the time so I went along, even if I wanted something different. I had to be nice. Then I'd just disappear because I couldn't take them anymore..or i couldn't give any longer.

They need to know who you are, the real you. They also need to compromise, it's not a one way street. Be yourself, that's the only way you'll really get what you're looking for, by being you.

Now I'm with a wonderful Scorp man, we both give to our relationship and nurture it. We can be ourselves too.

Im not a libra moon but I have a libra mars and I somtimes feel that people wont like the real me, so I try to soften the edges sometimes but honestly people are still put off by the slight faking. I told myself this morning that I was going to just let it all out.

I do think it possibly has to do with growing up hearing family call me mean. When my mother and sister would drop me off to my grandmothers house(fathers mother) theyd make sure to let everybody know I was a very mean person so that most likely did its damage overtime.

Then theyd make a huge deal out of me shedding a tear I stopped showing emotion in front of others.

Try a Cap male. You can show yourself around them. It might even scare them at first but they get comfort in being themselves too. Yall may end uo wanting to slice eachother in the end, but atleast you will be able to show yourself.

OP, where is your Mars? I've read that women do well with someone who is of the personality of their mars sign.
My mars is in aquarius and I really seem to click with aquarius men.