Why Can't They Just Wait!

Okay, I'm slightly frustrated at the moment.

I need to vent but I don't know how to right now.

Okay, now that I can express myself, I guess I can say that my head is just filled to the bream with questions that have obvious answers.

I just don't understand why men can't wait for sex.

I mean, for crying-out-loud, I'm not ready to do anything like that right now. True, I have thoughts about it but after what happened a few monthes ago, I'm just being careful.

The only issue really is the sex thing -- he wants it but I want to wait a while.

His whole stance on the issue is that we known each other for a while, and I like him and he says that I should be fully aware of what he feels for me. So he doesn't understand the hold-up or whatever.


Well, I guess I don't really understand why I won't do it either lol, I mean I have no problem with it but ... I don't know.

I guess biggiest issue is that, I'm not sure what I am to him yet. I've never let a guy touch me unless I was under the impression that he and I were committed. Theres only been one guy that I've been with and there wasn't a commitment from the start and I learned my lesson.

Sure, I understand that all men are different and situations aren't the same but I just can't see myself screwing around with a guy thats not my boyfriend yet.

some of them can! hard to believe, i know. 😛

I totally understand Cappy...but like SF said it is his issue and he really has no say in the matter, unless he wants to leave.

I also agree with Shakas statement.

assclown alert...

So don't do it, simple as dat...he just want those panties off

Posted by Shaks
I think the point here is that she kind of wants only sex too 🙂 but she does need more time to get comfortable with the idea, unlike guys.

nahh, the point here is that he CAN'T wait! Whether it's mutually agreed upon that they both want it just for the sex or not, he can't seem to wait. That's the point here, his impatience. If I was you, I wouldn't give in. Then again, my Aqua rising makes me stubborn as hell....so yeh, lol....

Posted by Shaks
"he says that I should be fully aware of what he feels for me."


I dont think his behaviour towards you over a long period of time has exactly shown any sign of consistency on his part for him to make such an assumption. Or am I wrong? He hasnt exactly given you a sense of security for you to open up to him the way he *thinks* you should be by now...it sounds to me like he's trying to push you emotionally to have sex with him. Get your feelings sorted first cappy 🙂 the rest will come automatically..

Yep, you are right man. I need to sort my feelings out before I do anything.

I took a break from all that 'emotional' stuff yesterday -- I didn't want to think about it because I have too much going on.

Posted by Shaks
I think the point here is that she kind of wants only sex too 🙂 but she does need more time to get comfortable with the idea, unlike guys.

lol!

PM coming your way.

Posted by sagigoat
i have never dated anyone who pushed me for intimacy maybe except the first guy (cancer). i dumped him after a few weeks. maybe it's the kinda men i picked/perferred. i do not like a man who cannot wait until i initiate. i don't even want him to ask or hint before i initiate. yes i'd be the initiator when i'm ready not him.





stand your ground sweetie. if you are not ready you are not ready if he loves and cares about you and is not a selfish arse he will not push you. there are million ways for him to take care of his needs it's not your job lol.

Sagi 🙂

That how I feel, if he has needs -- go take care of them. Its not like he said that I'm his girlfriend or anything like that.

Its so weird, we had a bit of a disagreement a couple of days ago -- it was concerning my roomie ... again. Its like I can't mension the guy's name around the Leo-Virgo without him going ape-shit.

I swear, if I knew the history between them was that ugly I would not have moved in with that sag-cap.

Honesty, I think the sag-cap knew there would be a conflict of interest, thats why he didn't tell me about the their history until I moved in with him. He knew the Leo-Virgo and I were close, so by telling me about what he had done to make him soooooo angry would have stopped the moving process.

Like I said before, when I screw up, I don't just screw up alittle, I screw up big time.

Posted by Cusp Of Magic
If he really cares for you he would be perfectly ok with waiting.

Thats how I feel. However he has a Saggie moon with a cancer venus -- he's harder to figure out than me lol. I have an aqua moon with an aqua venus.

Posted by Starfish225
Well it sounds like its his problem and not yours so do be frustrated..

Hey Starfish, I see what you mean. He and I have a very interesting history. He's also very blunt, very straightforward about alot of things. However, being a Leo-Virgo cusp, I know he's secretive too ...

Posted by tiki33
assclown alert...

Tiki,

Well, I not sure about that yet. I have a little test I want to give him to see if he really means any good or not. Actually this test was in the making some time ago but school and other things kind of postponed it lol.

I see what you mean but at least he's being honest about the sex thing -- some guys tip-toe around it, but not him.

Posted by Crazy4cappy
Any guy worth their weight in gold will wait if they want a relationship with you. Just like any guy just after S.E.X and that's it, will take off so fast they will leave skid marks lol. And you know darl, it's not like sex is enough to keep a man anyway. So stand your ground and say look I 'm really attracted to you but I don't sleep around- I need to be in a relationship/ I need to be in love first etc etc.

Guys want sex and if they get it, right away, they will take it. But when it comes to being in a serious relationship they aren't going to have that much respect and trust for a woman that acts like a potential town bike. You're doing the right thing and I reckon his liked you this long, he'd be willing to wait a bit longer I think. My virgo ex talked about sex a lot but he made it known that he respected the fact I wasn't easy. Same with my other ex bfs.
It's nice being treated like a princess because they see you are different to other women.

Yeah, you are right, he's liked me for a while ... I remember. He asked for my number twice and I said no LOL! Not to be mean or anything but I was thinking, 'Why would a guy like him want my number' -- he's not bad or anything, I just didn't know why he wanted it. Finally, the 3rd time, I gave it to him. The rest is history I rather not go into hahaha. But as his friend, I saw what a sweetheart he could be and he can be a very good teacher -- he tries to help me, even when I tell him I'm beyond help.

Even during the time when we were friends, there was always this force between us -- like the kind of force wheresa if we hang around each other too long alone, we both get into alot of trouble lol! At the time, I had a boyfriend -- that Virgo-Libra guy, remember him— lol -- so we never acted upon anything. After I became single, thats when things started to change between. The only issue is my silly roomie.

Posted by wheelhomies
some of them can! hard to believe, i know. 😛

Posted by Shaks
like me 😛 seriously, I patiently waited 4 months before my cappy felt comfortable enough 🙂

Posted by sarasa

Posted by Shaks
I think the point here is that she kind of wants only sex too 🙂 but she does need more time to get comfortable with the idea, unlike guys.

nahh, the point here is that he CAN'T wait! Whether it's mutually agreed upon that they both want it just for the sex or not, he can't seem to wait. That's the point here, his impatience. If I was you, I wouldn't give in. Then again, my Aqua rising makes me stubborn as hell....so yeh, lol....

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hahaha, you know its funny you said that. There was this conversation we were having about not going out to a movie this time.

He wants to watch movies at his place, with popcorn and cola ... in the nude. I told him that since we are both adults, I have no problem with that, as long as there are sheets around so I can cover up if I get cold ^_^ (hahaha, I know I'm so terrible).

So I guess after I said that he said, "Maybe I didn't make myself clear to enough, lets try this again. I want to have sex with you. I am sexually attracted to you." Okay, it this point, I'm thinking, 'Okay, now what?' lol

I mean, he was just so out there with it. He wanted to know how much I wanted him to .... now, this is a problem because as an Aqua moon, I'm honest but I have a bit of trouble expressing myself when it comes to things like that. I mean, I can do it but it just felt odd because ... I dont' know ... he's not my boyfriend, so its like whoa, what can I say.

Then, he says something like, "I know what I need to do to make you talk." Then I'm like, what does that mean, and then he laughs. I told him that I won't allow him anywhere near me unless he tells me what he is talking about. I know how cunning he can be lol.

Posted by cappygolightly

Posted by cappysweetie
I just don't understand why men can't wait for sex.

apparently waiting makes them physically ill. Mainly repetitive strain injury and priapism.....

Posted by Shaks
"he says that I should be fully aware of what he feels for me."

I dont think his behaviour towards you over a long period of time has exactly shown any sign of consistency on his part for him to make such an assumption. Or am I wrong? He hasnt exactly given you a sense of security.

I agree with the wise virguy above

Posted by sagigoat
stand your ground sweetie. if you are not ready you are not ready if he loves and cares about you and is not a selfish arse he will not push you. there are million ways for him to take care of his needs it's not your job lol.

and the wise SG

Posted by sb
He gives me the creeps.

Unfortunately there is something about this situation that makes me jumpy too. Particularly his history with the housemate.

Posted by Cancershorti27
So don't do it, simple as dat...he just want those panties off

Very good advice! get that chastity belt out and throw away the key until he learns to give you some tlc and commitment.

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lol @ cappygolightly,

I am in need of a chastity belt dealing with him. Since we haven't spoke in a couple of days, then maybe I won't even need it 😉 I don't know, I'm just not ready for runt with him yet. But I must admit, when I look at him and when he looks at me, my god ...

Oh knows, actually, knowing me, I just might leave the situation alone all together.

Posted by Shaks
You dont need to feel ashamed of just wanting some sex too..😛 I mean, we all have those needs right? and if you dont want any serious relationship with the leo/virgo and if he doesnt get into the idea of you wanting something more with him just because you accept sleeping with him, then its alright as far as Im concerned..

... really? Well, I'm not sure what I want ... lol. I'm being so honest with myself, I don't know what I want.

Situation A: To have him wait until I want to and see if a relationship starts ... but do want it? I mean, like I've said, I've never slept with any guy that wasn't my boyfriend ...


Situation B: If I do take him up on his 'pending' offer, than what? I guess I'm wonder if there will be life after screwing someone just for the hell of it ..


Even with both situations, I know what I feel, its just sorting it all out. You know, its like man oh man. I'm not sure, I mean, I just don't know.

Trust me, I don't mind doing things wild and crazy 😉 I tend to be very adventurous ... but I don't know, sex is a big deal with me. I just just take it lightly. Its not like, you know, using the bathroom or something like that lol

I don't know, I think I may have hurt him with the last conversation we had ... so I may not be hearing from him anytime soon. He's a leo-virgo, those are some sensitive jokers.