Fellow Gems I Need You

so since we were talking about being alone in our dark place. i am in that moment right now. do you often be like me,and tend to feel sorry for yourself? like talk fault for something you haven't done wrong. or always ask yourself,nobody will ever understand me. when people say "I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL". when you just want to shut them up & say "NO YOU DON'T!" i feel as if i am not up to my expectations. that i am not good enough for someone. i ask myself,i always tend to put my all in something and come out losing half the time. why? most people that do know me. often say "YOU KNOW KRYSTLE YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG HEART,SWEET,KIND,FUNNY,HELPFUL,FORGIVING,BUT SOMEONE ALWAYS TREATS YOU BAD" ,"YOU DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR TIME OF HAPPINESS JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE" a lot of my close friends/family say that they hate seeing me so depressed. because when they see me happy,it's like a light that shines through me,so they say. when i am happy,they are happy. does anyone of my gems tend to feel this way about theirselves sometimes?

take fault* damn typos >.>

Wow, you have a lot of emotional baggage, don't you?


You make excessive threads .. all addressing your inability to handle your feelings, and what/how to do about it.

If you attempt to relate to another person like this, beit intimate or friendships, you will likely send them packing because it becomes overbearing.

I would suggest smoking some weed .. alot. Or take some downers, to slow your mind, so that you are able to cross at least a couple t's.

Needy is not attractive, you know .. no, maybe you don't know.

Posted by KrystleSade
so since we were talking about being alone in our dark place. i am in that moment right now. do you often be like me,and tend to feel sorry for yourself? like talk fault for something you haven't done wrong. or always ask yourself,nobody will ever understand me. when people say "I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL". when you just want to shut them up & say "NO YOU DON'T!" i feel as if i am not up to my expectations. that i am not good enough for someone. i ask myself,i always tend to put my all in something and come out losing half the time. why? most people that do know me. often say "YOU KNOW KRYSTLE YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG HEART,SWEET,KIND,FUNNY,HELPFUL,FORGIVING,BUT SOMEONE ALWAYS TREATS YOU BAD" ,"YOU DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR TIME OF HAPPINESS JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE" a lot of my close friends/family say that they hate seeing me so depressed. because when they see me happy,it's like a light that shines through me,so they say. when i am happy,they are happy. does anyone of my gems tend to feel this way about theirselves sometimes?

WOW is right!

first, don't rely on what others say. rely on what you think about yourself.

if what you think is negative, then, that's what you need to work on BEFORE you get into any kind of a relationship. cuz believe me, it's harder to balance working on yourself and being in a relationship at the same time. and the other person doesn't deserve to have to deal with your negative issues as well. they ARE your issues. not theirs.

second, start thinking about the positive things that you DO like about yourself and focus on them. it sounds like you have a lot of open wounds that need healing and thinking of the positives about you, will help with healing.

others can help with the healing but, you have to do the healing yourself.

*laughs* enough said.

Posted by misslissa

Posted by KrystleSade
so since we were talking about being alone in our dark place. i am in that moment right now. do you often be like me,and tend to feel sorry for yourself? like talk fault for something you haven't done wrong. or always ask yourself,nobody will ever understand me. when people say "I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL". when you just want to shut them up & say "NO YOU DON'T!" i feel as if i am not up to my expectations. that i am not good enough for someone. i ask myself,i always tend to put my all in something and come out losing half the time. why? most people that do know me. often say "YOU KNOW KRYSTLE YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG HEART,SWEET,KIND,FUNNY,HELPFUL,FORGIVING,BUT SOMEONE ALWAYS TREATS YOU BAD" ,"YOU DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR TIME OF HAPPINESS JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE" a lot of my close friends/family say that they hate seeing me so depressed. because when they see me happy,it's like a light that shines through me,so they say. when i am happy,they are happy. does anyone of my gems tend to feel this way about theirselves sometimes?

WOW is right!

first, don't rely on what others say. rely on what you think about yourself.

if what you think is negative, then, that's what you need to work on BEFORE you get into any kind of a relationship. cuz believe me, it's harder to balance working on yourself and being in a relationship at the same time. and the other person doesn't deserve to have to deal with your negative issues as well. they ARE your issues. not theirs.

second, start thinking about the positive things that you DO like about yourself and focus on them. it sounds like you have a lot of open wounds that need healing and thinking of the positives about you, will help with healing.

others can help with the healing but, you have to do the healing yourself.

click to expand

thanks for the advise ^^

no worries

Posted by misslissa
no worries

it sounded kind of mean,but i appreciate it ,truly i do. i know i need to work on myself. it's hard 😭

wasn't intended that way. it's like saying don't worry about it, or no problem, or you're welcome. 🙂

Posted by misslissa
wasn't intended that way. it's like saying don't worry about it, or no problem, or you're welcome. 🙂

oh no,not the no worries part. about what you said before.my flaw that needs to be fixed. so thank you again. i'm grateful.

i didn't intend for that to sound that way either. i have been through this. i felt it was better for me to be direct with you. just remember to focus on the positives. another thing that worked for me was to make a mental list of who i wanted to be and work towards that. i'm not totally there yet, but, i'm getting there. AND i'm much happier for it. 🙂

it's hard at first but, the closer you get to who you want to be, he easier it gets. 🙂

Posted by misslissa
i didn't intend for that to sound that way either. i have been through this. i felt it was better for me to be direct with you. just remember to focus on the positives. another thing that worked for me was to make a mental list of who i wanted to be and work towards that. i'm not totally there yet, but, i'm getting there. AND i'm much happier for it. 🙂

it's hard at first but, the closer you get to who you want to be, he easier it gets. 🙂

i know you weren't intending it to be. :') & i shall have to add that in my notebook ^^ i like to write goals for myself. but i haven't put anything positive about myself in it :/ which is difficult. but i do hope that one day. i will no longer be like this,honestly i want it to go away for good. i want to prove everyone wrong. and i choose to do so 🙂

Posted by tiki33
You remind me so much of myself many many moons ago when I was your age....Krystle how you allow yourself to feel about yourself and your life can consume your whole entire life, low self esteem can color your life in so many negative ways....

If I could dig my way out and do my life over again, become a strong self empowered woman you can too, maybe not today but if you never give up on yourself you can become the woman you want to be...Demand it from yourself until your content with being you flaws and all.

If I could do it all over again, I would have sought out professional help to help me manage my emotions or maybe even a mentor or a life couch, me being an Aqua well people think were cold and somewhat mechanical, I call it aloof but growing pains are no laughing matter, it comes across needy and men (people in general) will run away, use a woman some way or another and take a woman like yourself for granted....Every day work on it, find something wonderful about yourself, something beautiful, I don't care if it's just a mole on your left foot, if you like it then work on loving it, if you pay your bills on time give yourself credit, if you give to others from the heart give yourself credit, dig deep inside and find that one thing that makes you unique that no one else has...It's hard to start thinking in a positive way if 99% of your thoughts and life has been focused towards what you believe and think and feel are bad flaws...LOVE YOUR FLAWS, that's when you will notice a huge shift in how you feel about yourself.

Your young, you have time, don't allow your low self esteem to run your life, you have to take control of it, I didn't have anyone on my side to tell me that, to help so I bumped my head, I bumped my ass in life b/c of how I allowed myself to feel about ME....your all you got, no one is gonna save you from you.

When you feel bad I find that you invite men in that help you feel bad about yourself, when you beat yourself down I find that you attract men that will beat you down in some way and try to keep you down that's why it's important for you to learn how to love yourself, love who you are so you will attract men that will love who you are..

you are correct here ma'am :/ & i find it so hard to love myself. idk why it is so HARD for me to do that. when i was a teenager i did love myself. until bad stuff happened to me which

threw me off track. it frightens me that i will never get control back when i deeply want it. i want to better myself because the person i am inlove deserves to be happy and with someone wonderful as he. but i dont want anything bad happen because of this habbit. 😢

Posted by tiki33
By the way....If that's you in that photo....You are absolutely beautiful

All you need is an attitude change and the ability to love thy self and others will love you too, flaws and all.

yes it is me ..and thank you for the kind words 😄 and yes i do need the attitude change :/ *sigh*

If you don't like you nobody else is gonna like you, if you don't love you nobody else is gonna love you...You will experience men leaving way more than men staying which will only solidify the bad feelings you have about yourself...

Posted by tiki33
unfortunately when women don't love themselves, love with men tend to slip through her finger tips because she's attempting to lose herself in the relationship so she can feel better about herself, sometimes you do get feel better about yourself but once the relationship goes sour she's back to square one stuck with her demons/her fears and low self esteem..

Unless you get back into learning and practicing how to love yourself 99% of the men you meet won't stay, I'm not predicting your future, of course you could be one of the exceptions and meet a man that will choose to love you despite the difficulties that come with loving a woman with a poor self image of herself but the reality is...most men leave b/c it's too hard loving a woman like you, too much work, too much energy is expended on making a woman like yourself feel good, feel happy, women like yourself are very hard to keep happy b/c women like you retain way too much self loathing and self doubt which is a bad foundation that will inevitably sink the relationship into a negative mess.

I hate to tell women to stop dating and stop trying to be with men while she's low on herself but the reality is...You need you more than you need him and not dating can help you get balanced inside yet I do understand poor self esteem is a driving force that convinces a woman that she must find love in order to love herself and feel better about herself...Finding a man, getting a relationship to feel better about oneself is a lie, men will be a temporary high, temporary fix but it won't fix you.

I'm no therapist but it wouldn't hurt to seek some outside assistance to help you manage what's going inside of you...You seem depressed.

you're right. 😢 i don't need him. i want him to be in my future. but i would like to work on myself so that we may have a good relationship.

Posted by tiki33
If you don't like you nobody else is gonna like you, if you don't love you nobody else is gonna love you...You will experience men leaving way more than men staying which will only solidify the bad feelings you have about yourself...

that makes so much sense. thank you for the tips 🙂

It's okay to want him your future but you have to understand you should need and want YOU MORE...Without you loving you there is no real relationship with a man, it only ends with you begging for love from a man, chasing men and hating yourself for not being able to break out of the cycle of rejection...rejection stops when you stop rejecting yourself and begin to accept you for who you are whatever that may be at the moment.

Posted by P-Angel
Wow, you have a lot of emotional baggage, don't you?


You make excessive threads .. all addressing your inability to handle your feelings, and what/how to do about it.

If you attempt to relate to another person like this, beit intimate or friendships, you will likely send them packing because it becomes overbearing.

I would suggest smoking some weed .. alot. Or take some downers, to slow your mind, so that you are able to cross at least a couple t's.

p-angel you are too funny...LOL

Posted by KrystleSade

you are correct here ma'am :/ & i find it so hard to love myself. idk why it is so HARD for me to do that. when i was a teenager i did love myself. until bad stuff happened to me which
threw me off track. it frightens me that i will never get control back when i deeply want it. i want to better myself because the person i am inlove deserves to be happy and with someone wonderful as he. but i dont want anything bad happen because of this habbit. 😢

You know Krystal, i understand where you're coming from, but you're still very young. I'm 46 and have two boys, work a FT job, as does my husband, we have a mortgage, huge property taxes, credit card bills, insurance policy payments, fed, state and income tax, utility bills, which keep going up, car licensing (which is outrageous in my state) and on and on....with the economy, think i don't feel overwhelmed at times and sorry for myself? of course i do. but i have a choice. either pity myself and hope others do or bust my butt and make life better for everyone. i chose the latter.

now, you're 20 years old. i recall when i was 20. i thought i pretty much knew it all and had it tough. trust me, unless you are in a soup line, have foreclosed on your home, out of work, or working 3 jobs daily, you don't have it hard. i have a friend who by age 21 was raising two children, working FT and paying all the bills. THAT is hard.

I don't know you personally, so I respect it when you say you've been through some bad stuff. Ok, we all have. I grew up with an alcoholic father who was abusive, controlling and berated me and my mother daily. He neglected my mother most of their marriage. When she got breast cancer, he neglected her even more because he was such an insecure man, he couldn't deal with her suffering. he chose to allow her to suffer alone, except when i was there to take her to her chemo, and with her on her last two days of life. He physically hurt her when she was at home during her chemo treatments and my husband and i saw it firsthand. I was so enraged, I called the cops and they took him to jail. i had put up with his crap and his ego for my entire child hood and teenage years. My mother supported me at all my sporting events and was always there for me emotionally. My father was never there for me, period. And to this day, we don't have much of a rapport.

Now, I left out many details that are too personal to share on this board. but, with what i went through in my past, i could use it as an excuse for not being able to handle emotions and deal with my kids/spouse on a mature level. i could make excuses for why i can't be happy and love myself. it's easy. my father never did. he has never told me he's proud of me. he tells my brother that all the time, despite my brother being an alcoholic and cheating on his first wife. i have accepted that my father will never accept me for who and what i am. it's taken me a long time. but i'm there. life is too short if all you're going to do is see the negative. as you age and mature, you will understand this. i hope in time, you can look in the mirror and see a good person. someone who has much to give. but no one will see that in you until you do. that's fact. and life is not fiction. it's real. being confident and assertive is the direction you should take; we all have insecurities. it's how you deal with them that separates you from those who don't. one thing i know for sure. Confident men are attracted to confident women. there is a difference between confident and arrogant. Intelligent men will see the difference.

@gemtaur you made cry ,it means a lot :') & @gemini24 i am glad we can relate to eachother. But i did realize i do have a lot to offer. I am one faithful person,honest,loving,caring,& i will do whatever it takes to always work something out. Thank you. @ Ccdarling i'd like to thank you as well. Ya'll are amazing Gems,that TRULY understand me. I'm blessed to have met you all

Posted by gemtaur
stay strong, sweetie. you are beautiful inside and out.

*hugs* thank you for everything 🙂

Ignore P-"Angel". She's a downstream fish piscean. Very few of her own Piscean peeps like her. She is the epitome of hipocrisy. She's truly sick. She has something negative to say about everyone (especially Gemini's) because she hates herself sooo much, as she should. She is evil, dark, lonely and disgusting. Again, ignore that unintelligent idiot. She was with a Gemini man (so she says) that used to kick her ass (I totally see how and why). So she has issues with us. It's just misdirected anger, that's all. She has no love left, she settled with a boring Virgo and she justifies every stupid thing that she says and does with more stupidity.

If you noticed, she smelled negativity and swam her ass to this thread just to inject her darkness. She really should just end it all if you ask me.

KrystleSade, being a Gemini that is more developed than I was when I was your age, I can tell you that I came to realize that I have true power. I don't need to be understood. I'm a Mercurian the messenger and at this point in my life I hope people don't listen or understand me. It is I that I need to understand along with my surroundings. Know this, the world is upside down. Earth and Water signs have never been more dazed, confused, lost, and miserable as they are right now. The reason is that society has screwed everthing up with the b.s. that people have latched on to. From the garbage chanting music that subliminally tells people to hate themselves they're not good enough. To playing tricks on the mind and heart with advertisments that promote evil. Therefore making the heart more vunerable to b.s. The mind is suppose to control the heart, not the other way around. Perfect example is to look at the P-"Angel" and her weak minions that think that she has validity on any subject at all. She does not. She is the example of what not to be or become in life. It's too late for her, and she knows this. So, she will try to take out as many souls as she can. She's in her death throws. I don't feel sorry for her. I hope she gets what she deserves.

You don't owe anyone anything especially understanding if they don't even understand themselves. To thine OWN self be true.

Much love & respect,
~GM