Gem/Cap. Am I bugging him?

Hello 🙂
I'm a Capricorn looking for some insights.

Me and this Gemini man have been close friends for a decade but things changed recently and I need help understanding what's going on.

For years he didn't know what to do with his life and he made a lot of bad choices he ended up regretting.
As the Cap person in his life, I acted as some sort of lighthouse. A constant in his life guiding him, like a safe place.
We ended up very close. He even called me his second girlfriend at times.

I try and give him pep talks when he's down and depress. Showing him that it's possible to achieve his dreams by doing it the smart way.
I don't know if all Geminis are like him, but he's all about dreaming of a better life without taking any actions.

Recently tho, when I ask him if he's ok.. We talk a little bit but he's so busy with school and everything that we don't talk as much as before.
I'm fine with it and I understand. I wait for him to go home and we talk.
What I didn't like though is how it went recently.

I text him. No answer. I call him, we talk a little bit but he's sad and not looking forward to what's coming and he tells me he has to go because he's gotta study.
Then, I see his FB update about him watching TV shows and tweets about him texting this girl he's been talking to that he met online.

Last time something similar happened, he told me: "My life doesn't revolve around you!"
When all I did is being there for him like I've been for years and ask him how life is going.

I'm always the one reaching out to him recently. Before, it was a healthy 50-50.

Should I give him his space?

I know he's the kinda guy to think he's not good enough for anything.
This new girl he's talking to is a bad influence for him. She's a Gemini too. She must bring the fun and I bring the boring talks? But he's at a point in his life where he needs to decide what to do to get his kids back (His ex girlfriend, a Pisces was emotionally needy and they ended up having 2 children together because she was insecure and didn't want my friend to leave her. Instead it drove my Gem friend crazy and he ran away. Feeling stuck with too much responsibilities)

What do you think I should do? Tell him how I feel or let him do bad things he's going to regret?

Thanks for the help Geminis.

Sounds like he hasn't evolved yet. Depends on how old he is too. I've noticed with us Gem's we mature at a different rate. Now this can be an unfortunate thing but at the same time not so much. Double edged sword. Females are completely different than males though. Out of all my girlfriends that are Gem's (which are few because I can't stand them in my circle!) we seem to have our shit straight. The guys not so much. I still have an ex who is in his mid to late 30's and still isn't doing shit with his life. You aren't his mom. So I would back off, because it looks like he is starting to become annoyed with the prodding. Let him find his own way. Let him be a man on his own. And he's retarded spending his time lamenting over some online girl and whining over his dreams. He must have some interesting placements. Because I if anything are COMPLETELY different I take action.

We made a promise to each other years ago that we would speak our mind with each other always.

Do you think it's a good idea to tell him that I'm done doing the chasing and that if our friendship dies it won't be my fault?

Last time we went through something similar. It ended up in me telling him I would take a few steps because I felt like he didn't wanna be friends with me. Him telling me to stop over reacting and him asking me to keep changing my mind. Because according to him, I'm cold a lot (he hates it) and then very affectionate and he doesn't know what I want.
(I say I'm just being a typical Capricorn, which is not something I can control. I.E.: Being cold with him without even realizing it)

Yes that's the possessive Gemini! One week he will be all over me, wanting me, wanting to be there for me. The next he's distant and ignoring me on purpose..
No wonder I'm so confused. I'm dealing with two persons here after all 😉

Honestly this is going to make me look bad but, ok I am being completely honest here. I have a lot of air placements and I am a Gemini as you know. When I get like this (which I do) I am either sick of the person or just plain tired of them and looking for new excitement. No offense to you Alyza but this is mostly concerning the opposite sex. I was with a Cap once and he bored me to death and yes I left him for that. I couldn't stand the hum drum routine it drove me insane. I do NOT like people telling me what to do. And this is the biggest kicker for me. When I find someone new and exciting (however long that lasts which is about 2-3 weeks when the excitement dies down) I move on to the next looking for a glimpse of the excitement again. The second someone becomes routine, boring, and sounds anything like an authority figure I go "NEXT!"

Our mouths get us into trouble too. I make a lot of commitments that sound good to me at the time, and a few days later I am reeling like "WTF! Why did I say that! FUUUU!" Realizing I don't like this person as much as I thought. Anything can set me off into not liking someone, but if they are really worth it I stick around. I'm not perfect but I am very much my sign. You could be dating me for six months and you do something to piss me off I start to feel "Ok maybe he's not the one" and I become disillusioned.

Yeah I am starting to think that too. I have some terrible traits that are quite close to what he's doing. Well maybe not terrible but I guess it could look like that to any fixed sign. Getting sick of people seems to creep up on me sooner than later. Just the boring day after day no excitement, doesn't want to try anything new, doesn't go out on a limb, bosses me around telling me what is good for me and how I should do this and that. No. I already have parents.

So BORRRRRED! I can't tell you how many times my eyes have glazed over on dates because they drone on like the guy who does the Dry Eyes commercial with the drops. I can't wait to get the hell outta there. Possibly why I have a really hard time finding someone that I am compatible with because I just love life. Like to try new things, young at heart, laugh, throw caution to the wind, etc.

Even with the Scorpio now I am finding myself becoming disillusioned. Constant push/pull of the Scorp combined with his Cap moon, being overly possessive and controlling, add that to him hiding out in his cave for days not speaking to me but then slapping the cuffs on me when he is ready to come out, yeah not exciting what so ever.

I have a friend who is a very earthy Cap man and like you, he was very dedicated to his friends and being the shoulder they can cry on during bad times. He made sure to check up on his friends everyday just like you did and he's had a few of them go off on him the way your Gem friend did. I'm wondering if it is because your diligence was started to look too routine to him, perhaps that is why your Gem friend made the "My life does not revolve around you" comment? It's a Cap thing to have a routine going on but that might be a bit much for Gems (please do correct me if I'm wrong!). I think it would be a good idea to leave him be and let him make his choices.

It's not that I don't have a problem with commitment it's just the WRONG types that I become disinterested in during the lust phase. For me to make it past that you have to have something I really like otherwise I don't settle.

About commitment:
He told me many times that he loves me and me the same.
It's true that I've been telling him what to do more than usual recently.. But only because he told me he likes it when I guide him. I can be fun too. I am Ascendent Gemini after all! I proposed a bunch of activities to him before but he got cold feet. When I got upset, he felt bad and told me we would do it. Which is not what I want. I don't want him to come only because he's feeling bad. I know freedom is important for him. So I told him I would find another friend to have fun with, and he got upset, told me he felt neglected.

As for Capricorn in his chart:
Saturn, Uranus and Neptune is Capricorn. Moon is Libra.

About commitment part 2:
His ex and the mother of his children tricked him into staying and faked taking birth control pills to have children with him because she was an insecure Pisces. He hated it and he cheated on her, fed up with her possessiveness. I don't blame him. She was crazy, asked him to stop talking to me forever.
When he realized she was leaving with the kids, he moved back with his old roommates, but after realizing she was gone, he got miserable, wanting her back but she moved on. But when they talk, which is everyday, he told me they flirt a lot.
He's been unable to move on since 2010.
Same with his ex-ex.
She cheated on him 4 times and he stayed with her anyways.

Gem and Cap doesn't make a good combination, in my opinion.