Gemini driving this lady Leo bananas!

Hi guys!

I just registered tonight because I seriously feel like I'm gonna go out of my mind with this Gemini male and I really, REALLY could use some advice....

I have a bit of a history being attracted to Gems. Although as a Leo I loooooove getting attention from males it makes me uncomfortable when some go overboard and I get really resentful really fast if I feel like a guy is cramping my style . I also have ADD which makes me a very flighty Leo and my mind goes 1000miles a minute so I think this adds to why Gems seems to become attracted to me. I'm playful and sexual and weird.

I'm sorry in advance I feel like I need to explain the situation to see what you guys think...

So there is this Gem dude I've known for YEARS. We never got together because I was really insecure (he a guitarist and singer and heavy drinker and dated models and I kind of more a shy size 14.) although we reaaaaaaaly liked eachother. I wound up meeting another guy. So he and I fell out of touch pretty much for years, but are friends on social media.

So recently he messages me and is hitting on me pretty hard, and I was thrilled, cause I still had feelings for him and always regretted how things had ended between us. We exchange numbers....he texts me that night, we have a long phone call that goes so well and afterwards he texts me and says he had so much fun talking to me, tha I really made him smile, and calls me sweetheart (you can imagine my lil Leo heart just vibrating with pleasure...lol). Oh the words hat came out of that charmer gem's mouth...i even told him "geez you're really working it!" hahaha. We talked again the next day, and exchanged a few texts, then again a few days later. Then after that....no messages for two days. He finally texts me and says he was sorry, that he had been busy with work and ha to go to hospital (works in security) So. Next day I text him and ask how he's going. No response. That was 5 days ago.

I have been going out of my head wondering what the hey is going on and it's hard to keep my cool about it this time though I know he has a history of kinda wandering in and out. It's different now because I can see a future with this dude, and I have always felt strongly for him. I'm concerned that me putting off meeting him again has made him cranky cause he expressed he felt restless. So now I'm just at a total loss as to what to do. He's been a bit active on social media, so I feel like he's basically ignoring me, and as ya'll kn

as ya'll know that's pretty hard for a Leo to take 😢 my last relationship ended really badly and I am scared of getting used and hurt again so him going cold is really hurting my heart.

I don't know if I should refrain from texting again. When I asked him over the phone what he feels about texting he said he doesn't mind if I text him and that he will respond when he can....which felt a bit like a open ended copout. Do you geminis even realize how much it can hurt when you just ignore somebody like that? 😢 I'm guessing I should just wait but uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway, thank you for reading that freaking novel _—_—any advice would be appreciated like you would not believe!!

I would leave him alone. Maybe he just needed an ego boost that day and had no intention of leading you on. His attention is elsewhere now.

Posted by Undine
I would leave him alone. Maybe he just needed an ego boost that day and had no intention of leading you on. His attention is elsewhere now.

😢

I didn't want to think that, since he and I have some history. I can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me crazy!

Posted by feby
Why are you putting off meeting him?

It's complicated.

Firstly, I live overseas away from the US, my first true home. And after my last relationship ended in this new country. i decided I was going to make plans to move back to America, which meant I decided not to date or actively pursue new friendships etc while I'm waiting. So in essence I'm in limbo. Him getting in touch with me now makes me really scared that if I get involved with him, I'll continue to be stuck in this country. I told him this upfront and he said he'd always wanted to live in America. Lol. But he did say I deserved to be happy more than anybody else and I should move if I think that,s what'll make me happy.

So there is an emotional caution. But the biggest reason is I feel like I'm just not his type physically. When we were first friends years ago I was even more insecure (had emotionally abusive childhood) and so I kept avoiding him cause I was honestly starving myself and over exercising so I felt I'd be good enough for him (stupid, I know). In the last several years I gained a lot of weight due to depression from extreme homesickness but since Feb I got my shit together and have lost a lot of weight (this was before he got back in touch with me, so not for him, and I'm doing it the healthy way). However even though I know I'm a super cute girl, I'm still not where I'd like to be when I meet him. I really want to make a great first impression, and as a Leo woman I have a lot of pride. Lol. Also my confidence is through the roof when I know I'm looking at my absolute best.

He has asked me out several times and I keep changing the subject because I was afraid, and I so wanted to be honest with him but I was worried it meant he'd lose interest in me. But of course since I kept avoiding his dates now he has probably for sure lost interest in me. After the first night we talked, he told me the next day that he felt sad and restless and I got the impression it's because he wanted to just meet me already and get the ball rolling but I used to make him wait and now I'm doing it again.

The thing is....after we talked, I took some photos of myself to send him. Cause I don't want to deceive him, and to kind of tide him over...cause like I said, shoot I really do like the guy. So I'm just devastated that it seems like after all he said, I don't meant anything to him and he p

The thing is....after we talked, I took some photos of myself to send him. Cause I don't want to deceive him, and to kind of tide him over...cause like I said, shoot I really do like the guy. So I'm just devastated that it seems like after all he said, I don't meant anything to him and he probably just wanted to have sex. But it sure meant a lot to me 😢 I even wanted to invite him to a concert in March, cause I wanted him to know I'm serious about him.

Posted by SassyKittenpants

.After the first night we talked, he told me the next day that he felt sad and restless and I got the impression ......

click to expand

This translates that you didn't cheer him up, and he will be looking for whatever is looking elsewhere.

You shouldn't send pics to a man looking for validation. If you have body issues, solve them or accept them. My Gem BF divorced a tiny Leo who was a UK size 6 (US 2). Well, at UK 12 (US 8) I'm twice bigger than her 😄! So what...? You should see his delight when he puts his hands on my womanly curves!

Posted by Undine

Posted by SassyKittenpants

.After the first night we talked, he told me the next day that he felt sad and restless and I got the impression ......

This translates that you didn't cheer him up, and he will be looking for whatever is looking elsewhere.

You shouldn't send pics to a man looking for validation. If you have body issues, solve them or accept them. My Gem BF divorced a tiny Leo who was a UK size 6 (US 2). Well, at UK 12 (US 8) I'm twice bigger than her 😄! So what...? You should see his delight when he puts his hands on my womanly curves!

click to expand

Do you mean that he is just looking for a quick fix type girl who can cheer him up and distract him or whatever? And maybe when he realized I was actually serious, he backed off cause he didn't want to continue leading me on? Funny cause he's the one who launched into the grandiose statements! I was only taking his lead....*sigh*!!!

Heeheehee oh I bet your gem is waaaaaaay into those curves! I'm quite a bit curvier than you though, about a us 16 I'd say. I'm a lot happier with my body and really proud of myself for how much I kick ass for getting this far. The pictures were more to.......show him I'm serious, and test the water a bit and see how he reacts.....I was very excited to show him cause he has never seen my figure before.....

A small part of me feels like this isn't over, because there's always been a strong attraction between us, but at the same time my heart is telling me to let it go. It's just so hard. 😢

Posted by Jynja
Listen to your heart.

The difficulty for you Pisces moons is that you have the ability to envision an entire future with someone when you know deep down that it is pretty wishful thinking.

Thank you Jynja. You are so right on about that. I was despairing the other night over how frustrated I am with myself that I can go off on these flights of fancy and I only wind up setting myself up for disappointment. Even as I am fantasizing, I will tell myself to stop doing it, but it's just so delicious and I feel like I'd be lying to myself if I didn't just enjoy the fantasies and indulge in them. On one hand it makes me who I am, a visionary creative powerhouse, but on the other it sure makes me miserable.

Posted by SassyKittenpants

Posted by feby
Why are you putting off meeting him?

It's complicated.

Firstly, I live overseas away from the US, my first true home. And after my last relationship ended in this new country. i decided I was going to make plans to move back to America, which meant I decided not to date or actively pursue new friendships etc while I'm waiting. So in essence I'm in limbo. Him getting in touch with me now makes me really scared that if I get involved with him, I'll continue to be stuck in this country. I told him this upfront and he said he'd always wanted to live in America. Lol. But he did say I deserved to be happy more than anybody else and I should move if I think that,s what'll make me happy.
T
So there is an emotional caution.

But the biggest reason is I feel like I'm just not his type physically...

click to expand

You're over-complicating it... that ^ is his decision; not yours.

And I mean that in a good way.

Your weight is a source of (dis)stress for you-- but you're dealing with

it the right way this time.

Good.

But it's a process, not a destination... and ultimately, a way of life.

Try to accept that; it's a good thing... so there's no reason not to get in the game.

Having said that, I'm not even going to ask why you want to date a musician who drinks heavily. 😄

And he's a Gemini to boot! lol

His life style would be my concern...

But if you're ok with that, what would you do if you thought you looked "perfect?"

Posted by feby
It does sound to me like you have some body / esteem issues and or makes me very sad to read 😢
I think you have to do whatever you need to do in order to help yourself with these issues because your self worth shouldn't depend so heavily on your weight.

Thank you so much, Feby, from the bottom of my heart.

I hear you loud and clear. My family has always been incredibly critical and judgemental of me in every way possible, and my looks were/are the biggest target. I haven't even told them I've lost so much weight because it kind of sickens me how happy they get about how I look if my looks improve. My mom would often dream of me being skinny and she'd tell me and it always made me feel so terrible, like I was only good if I was slim. My confidence has actually improved a thousandfold believe it or not. I had a really terrible breakup with my long term boyfriend of 6 years last year that involved him cheating on me, and I can see now that I think this latest rejection is bringing back up those old feelings of not being good enough and being easy to forget/discard. It's good...it shows me that I have areas I still need to improve.

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by SassyKittenpants

Posted by feby
Why are you putting off meeting him?

It's complicated.

Firstly, I live overseas away from the US, my first true home. And after my last relationship ended in this new country. i decided I was going to make plans to move back to America, which meant I decided not to date or actively pursue new friendships etc while I'm waiting. So in essence I'm in limbo. Him getting in touch with me now makes me really scared that if I get involved with him, I'll continue to be stuck in this country. I told him this upfront and he said he'd always wanted to live in America. Lol. But he did say I deserved to be happy more than anybody else and I should move if I think that,s what'll make me happy.
T
So there is an emotional caution.

But the biggest reason is I feel like I'm just not his type physically...

You're over-complicating it... that ^ is his decision; not yours.

And I mean that in a good way.

Your weight is a source of (dis)stress for you-- but you're dealing with

it the right way this time.

Good.

But it's a process, not a destination... and ultimately, a way of life.

Try to accept that; it's a good thing... so there's no reason not to get in the game.

Having said that, I'm not even going to ask why you want to date a musician who drinks heavily. 😄

And he's a Gemini to boot! lol

His life style would be my concern...

But if you're ok with that, what would you do if you thought you looked "perfect?"

click to expand

Thank you so much Monty 🙂

You are right, about it being a process, and after the first couple times I spoke to him recently I had a battle with myself because I felt tremendous guilt, as I know he wants to meet me, I know he likes me. I don't think he was being dishonest about that. And i felt terrible because i like him so much and it hurt my heart that i was being dishonest to him.

You see, when we first began talking years ago, we got to know each other for a good 1.5 years (one of those years before I moved to this country where he lives). We talked on the phone and online frequently. So I feel like I have a really good idea of the type of person he is. I me

Argh. My message was cut off!

I met my now ex (6 year long relationship, libra/scorp) in the interim and he knew about my Gem (cause I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship ie I was working hard to lose weight so I could meet my gem lol!!) and made fast moves to claim me. And I gave in......because, at some point, I just felt like I was never going to be good enough for my Gem. Which makes me really sad now because honestly I looked really lovely. I just got tired of starving myself. It makes me bitterly sad cause I still vividly remember one night when my Gem called me up, drunk, and told me how much he liked me, how badly he wanted to meet me, and I had to turn him down.

I forgot all the stuff I wrote. Lol....

He actually isn't into that life style anymore. He told me he doesn't get wasted and isn't into drugs, and that a few years ago he realized he needed to stop the self destruction and get himself a career. Tbh that made me a little sad for him cause i know he's not too happy with his work and I can just feel the suffocation he must feel having to have a regular job LOL. If he was still the partier/drinker/druggie that he was I would not pursue him in any serious way, but I can see there's been some growth and maturity. I think what set him on a path to getting a career was his current ex, who he was with for about 3 years. He told me he had also quit smoking for her because she hated it.

So.....if I thought I looked perfect, right now......I would've met up with him by now in a heartbeat. That's how strongly I feel for him. I was certain he felt something for me too. So that's why I'm terribly confused and in pain right now. He told me he always thought we'd wind up together over the years. But now, considering his silence, I'm really hurt by it...not so much because I need him to constantly talk to me, but more because I feel like he understands me and yet he was able to so easily discard me? I know it's possible he just wanted sex, and a lot of time has passed, and he is used to getting any girl he wants. But it's still disappointing because he knows what I'm like and how sensitive I am. So, would I meet him NOW, after this, possibly. But I'd be damn careful and I would hold my cards close to my chest. I realize now that my heart is precious and needs protecting and he has really disappointed me. I know he doesn't owe me anything but I think it's just disrespectful to leave a lady hanging like that and if I let him get away with

if I let him get away with this behavior then he'll think he can just walk all over me.

Posted by SassyKittenpants
if I let him get away with this behavior then he'll think he can just walk all over me.

I could be reading this wrong, but sounds like you're punishing

him for doing to you, what you have been doing to him... for years.

Try to understand.

Trying to get together with you has been fruitless in the past, right?



You have nothing to lose, and holy shit... what if it turns out well?


🙂

Posted by xy
You just want the banana.

Bahahahahahahaha! Well....YEAH! Haven't had banana in over a year after all!

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by SassyKittenpants
if I let him get away with this behavior then he'll think he can just walk all over me.

I could be reading this wrong, but sounds like you're punishing

him for doing to you, what you have been doing to him... for years.

Try to understand.

Trying to get together with you has been fruitless in the past, right?



You have nothing to lose, and holy shit... what if it turns out well?


🙂

click to expand

Argh! Dammit I can't argue that logic at all. Thank you...you really are making me see this in a new light.....no wonder he'd get frustrated. He kept coming up with ideas for things we could do together (he wanted to take me to an animal reserve so we could hold koalas..... Haha....) and I'd laugh about it and change the subject. I just wanted some more time but ain't nobody gonna wait until March to meet a girl. Lol. Especially since I kept making him wait years ago. I think it'd be much harder for me to take rejection in person cause I feel so vulnerable about my looks. In addition if I go into it feeling so extremely self conscious it's just going to backfire cause I'm going to feel so awkward and I'll be shitting myself which doesn't a great first impression make.

And now it's not like he"s texting me back anyway _— I blew it didn't I guys? Lol.

Well. I just messaged him, it's been a week, I've got nothing to lose like you said Monty. I figure if he doesn't respond to this one then that'll be my answer and I can well and truly move on and not even think about this shitshow anymore. I asked him if he's still alive and if I should be sending his mother flowers lol. I honestly feel like I'm not gonna get a response and I'm cool with that cause the idea of opening up to him about everything utterly petrifies me.

Posted by SassyKittenpants
Well. I just messaged him, it's been a week, I've got nothing to lose like you said Monty. I figure if he doesn't respond to this one then that'll be my answer and I can well and truly move on and not even think about this shitshow anymore. I asked him if he's still alive and if I should be sending his mother flowers lol. I honestly feel like I'm not gonna get a response and I'm cool with that cause the idea of opening up to him about everything utterly petrifies me.

Ha! That made me lol 😛


Look... just go pet the koalas-- that's all you have to worry about right now.

Not that AVALANCHE of feels you're burdening (smothering, terrorizing, barricading and

otherwise scaring the hell out of) yourself with... it's unnecessary.


Srsly-- one thing at a time.

As a Gem when I'm interested in someone I keep the lines of communication open. It sounds like he was a little bored and reached lovelove to you to occupy his mind. You should leave him be and not worry yourself with what he is thinking. He hasn't shown the courtesy to respond to your messages. Him going silent is about HIM so don't beat yourself up over it.

Also have confidence in yourself as a woman. It's not how you look but how you feel about yourself. That comes across to people. Love yourself and others can then love you.