Gemini man panicking on me

You might remember my post a few weeks ago about the Gemini man who broke up with me to go back to his crazy ex.
Well, since then, the truth came out.

I got a phonecall from Crazy B (let's call her that from now on) a couple of weeks ago. She was calling with some bullshit excuse (a pretend text from someone I knew calling him a bastard) to fish for information and make sure I wasn't going to move on her territory anymore. I told her that I had nothing to do with the text, that I didn't have Gemini's number anymore (just a little lie), not to call again and to leave me alone. It seemed to work but that call made me a bit suspicious.

On a whim, I went to see the Gemini at his workplace a couple of days later, just to see if I could get some closure and make sure he knew I didn't have anything to do with the "text".
I wasn't sure it was a good idea and thought about running away before it was too late. But at one point, he came out and saw me.

He smiled from ear to ear, exchanged pleasantries with me (telling me I looked good...) and after a minute, I told him about the phonecall I received. He had no idea what I was talking about. He said she must have gotten my number from his phone but he had nothing to do with it. He was very upset.

Apparently, she's not even his girlfriend.
You remember I got a message saying he went back to his ex, that he was with me to forget about her and that it had always been her?
Well, he said he never sent it. He also said he would have contacted me straight away if he had known about this.

Crazy B deleted my number from his phone because she went even crazier when she learnt I existed. She said she would do something terrible to herself if he didn't help her.

Later on, we chatted and I managed to get some explanation regarding what happened to Crazy B. Gemini also said that the day his ex came back to bang on his door, he got really scared.
Then he told me he left me because he panicked. He just didn't know what to do with the ex back to mess with his head and me going away for a month.

We talked for well over an hour (almost like we never broke up) and he said we would chat again soon.
It was about a week ago and I'm losing hope. I did see him by accident this week and we got to talk for a few minutes. Short but sweet. Lots of smiling on his part 🙂

What does he mean by panicking? For me, it implies a rash decision but it might be my Virgo mind overanalising things. Can you Gemini men deciphe

He chose her over you well you're supposed to lose hope, he CHOSE the allegedly crazy girlfriend over you and while you're at losing hope you probably should think about losing his number and losing the directions to his job as well, think about losing him period.

I love Gemini men, good looking, chatty, so many good qualities but the dual personality is a complete dichotomy between what you'll see and what's actually going on and who he actually is outside of the persona he's portraying.

I won't bash Gemini males because I actually get along with them quite well but being that I've had direct experiences with a few male family members whom are Gemini's and had a long term relationship with a Gemini I'll just say some of them (the not so evolved Gem males) drive women banana's and behave like gutless cowards in one on one relationships, I know all too well the dark side.

Have you started dating again? You really should take baby steps in getting back out in the dating scene, you'll feel better and you won't feel so stuck and stalled on this current ordeal you're involved with.

He doesn't sound very interested in pursuing a relationship with you.

he CHOSE the allegedly crazy girlfriend over you

He didn't chose her over me. It seems like he chose to be alone for the time being so he could make some spring cleaning in his head. He did state he will never go back to her and I think he was being sincere. That girl is serious trouble and possibly dangerous, and he won't be happy unless she leaves him alone for good.

I do think he's been a coward in this situation (dumped me via text, let her delete my number from his phone...). No question about it. He even admitted it and that's definitely not his best trait of character.

Have you started dating again? You really should take baby steps in getting back out in the dating scene, you'll feel better and you won't feel so stuck and stalled on this current ordeal you're involved with.

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I went on a date with this Cap guy but he's been extremely unpleasant (he teases me a bit too much for my taste) so I don't think I will pursue it.
Sadly, I don't really have a lot of choices at my disposition so I might go back to my previous and default state: being alone and possibly become a crazy cat lady.

@Earthy He's 35 and they were together for 4 and a half years according to him. Very messed up relationship too (basically based on him taking care of her because she is mentally unstable/no intimacy between them).

I'm sure he's reviewing everything now. I just know he will never go back to her but maybe our relationship scared him because we were moving a bit too fast. After all, he was in a long relationship just months before and probably wasn't ready to jump back in another one that quickly. Do you think that could explain the panic?

Thanks Earthy.

Last time I saw him, he said he would Skype me because he'd like to talk and said, "things are still so messed up". I understand he needs time but I don't know how much I can give him.

Your trust radar is still beeping? What made it beep? Mine seems to be out of batteries. 😉

I hope he reaches some conclusions and manages to get rid of the ex sooner than later. We're not getting any younger.

Before I knew she was the author of the "break up/rebound message", I was on asshole alert and pretty much done with him. I've been on caution alert ever since. This man is very hard to decipher. I'd like to probe his brain and see what comes out.

Are you serious? She has ACCESS to his phone, that means he's with her, he's not with you, he's not pursuing you.

Take a closer look at what you said. DUMPED YOU VIA TEXT, ALLOWED HER TO DELETE YOUR PHONE NUMBER and he never came back to rectify any of that, he's with her if he allowed that. If it wasn't his trait of character he wouldn't have allowed any of it to happen. Come into the light, SEE THE LIGHT, he's pulled the Gemini wool over your eyes, he's not the person you thought he was.

"I went on a date with this Cap guy but he's been extremely unpleasant (he teases me a bit too much for my taste) so I don't think I will pursue it.
Sadly, I don't really have a lot of choices at my disposition so I might go back to my previous and default state: being alone and possibly become a crazy cat lady."

Okay this sounds quite desperate. What is it about your disposition that make you feel you have to possibly be an old cat lady? This kind of attitude makes you very vulnerable to be mistreated and that's clearly why he felt he could mistreat you by dumping you via text, he smelled desperation.

Work on that part of yourself, the self esteem part so men won't smell desperation and treat you like your disposable. Go out and meet new people, you don't have to date but try getting used to the idea that you can meet people--men and that you don't have to possibly be the crazy cat lady.

Whatever is going on in your head is NOT TRUE, I don't care what you look like, how you look, what's going on in your life you don't have to settle for some crappy guy that dumped you via text, wiped your number out of his phone, yep he did that, he deleted your number because had he not done that he'd have found a way to contact you, you had to go looking for him and that's pretty pathetic behavior on your part, you are TELLING HIM A STORY ABOUT YOURSELF when you behave this way, that story is your a desperate person just like his ex and once your hand is shown HE WON'T COME BACK because he now he has the power of DECISION AND CHOICE to pull you along or stay right were he's at. He's God, your an imp and that's the part you'll play if you don't desert this idea that he's coming back to you, HE'S NOT.

He misguided you by allowing you to think he was single and you can't let him go because he fooled you and now your stuck thinking he's perfect when really he's just a jerk that leads women on and dump them, look at his allegedly crazy ex, I bet you by no means she's crazy and you had the opportunity to get it all settled when she contacted you but you chose to believe HIM (the she's crazy scam) when she's not crazy at all, she's just like you, she is you, you are her, she was dumped inappropriately, she came looking for ANSWERS by banging on his door and ironically YOU DID THE SAME THING, you followed this clown to his job looking for something, for a clue, a cue, looking for answers, so now you're in her shoes and it's not all that fun.

I don't know why you believe/feel you should go back to being alone but you must force yourself to go live and dump the crazy idea that you have to be alone if you can't have him or a man like him, you'll connect with someone and the more you go live the more chances you'll have to connect with a man that won't treat you like a disposable dish wipe.

If he dated a crazy person then the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, our partners are a reflection of us in some way. He has crazy making behavior so it makes since that the women he date either are crazy or about to be driven crazy because of his crazy making behavior.

Just want to say there's nothin wrong with being a crazy cat lady.

Posted by marythevirgo

I got a message saying he went back to his ex, that he was with me to forget about her and that it had always been her?
Well, he said he never sent it. He also said he would have contacted me straight away if he had known about this.

Sooooo not buying it. He's lying. He did send it.

I can't believe you went to his job. I know you wanted closure but sheeeesh! You're starting to behave like the crazy B, lol. Most gems are flirty, hence all of the smiling. It doesn't mean anything. Most of them flirt to see if you're going to flirt back. That doesn't mean he's attracted to you (generally speaking. Most people miscontrue their flirtatious tendencies. They'll flirt with a parrot just because it talks, lol.

He said he left you because he panicked? Panicked how? I'm just confused because if he doesn't even have your # anymore the times you saw him, why didn't he ask for it so that you guys can talk & clear things up between you 2? If he wants things to work out between you guys then he needs to put an effort into doing so. He doesn't seem to be doing shit but giving you excuses.