suffocated

how would u act to this kind of people? i do not wish to hurt him but he is really bothering me..

or am i over reacting to this? i doubt.

Posted by seascape
do u gems feel suffocated with friends when they leave you a lot of messages. I feel that a lot, i want to vomit, i hate hearing about them...i need air and space. i have this friend who over comunicates and would leave me a lot of links, comments and email a lot of times a day and i ignore and wouldnt stops still. i want to thrown up when i see his name. argchhh

cant people understand how we need space. dont they do anything else in life?

I agree with the rest. He sounds like he likes you so his he really a "friend"? But yah IMO I think you need to cut to the chase and tell him to give it a rest. Hey may feel like he needs closure which prompts him to continue to message you. You could continue to ignore him which might really egg him on, or you could confront him and hopefully get him to stop.

It sounds like what he is doing is eating at you so why continue to ignore him?

Posted by gemtaur
Cause we hate hurting people's feelings and hope they just go away. An angry Gem that snaps is not normal M.O. This is standard issue Gem response. Might be mixed in with heightened sensitivity to confront things in Scape's case, but basically every Gem is pretty much this way.

We're great at communicating POSITIVE ideas, opinions, thoughts, concepts, etc., not so great with the negative stuff, especially when it relates to feelings, and especially other people's feelings.

exactly

Yeah, I'm with you. I easily feel suffocated with a barrage (spelling?) of messages especially if I've just spent time with them. I'm like -- weren't we just together? Don't get me wrong, when I'm actually there, I give 100% of myself and make it as enjoyable, pleasurable an encounter as possible BUT after that, let it simmer and settle down first, okay? Otherwise, it's just overkill and overexposure. Make me miss you a bit.

OTOH, yeah, he might like you hence the reminders of his "presence" all the time. When a potentiable does that to me though, that makes me cross them off the list, lol, mostly because he comes off as too needy. I guess, when that happens, I do the infamous virgo distancing (even if I'm not a virgo), but unlike the virgo, it's not for me to overanalyze the dude or whatever. It's mostly because I need space and air and to really not think, see, or hear for him from a while. If he knows how to pace himself after that, I may reconsider getting in touch again. Chances are, he'll get frustrated, show his true colors and gallop off into the distance.. in which case.. problem solved.

Posted by seascape
ok, sending thank u's or i got home safe after that is ok...i do that too and i reply the first message. after that it would feel redundant to me and completely uneccessary.

so here;s actually what happened, i spent tme with this friend, we see each other from time to time. then after that he sent thank u msg, and i replied with thanks too etc and wished him a good week. I also told him i will be busy which is true. then after that he sent another message which is normal still. i dint feel the need to reply. it was more like the last msg. then there was another and another and another...

he would send anything at least 3 0r 4 times a day.. i didnt reply anymore. he would send links, copy and pasted long explanations about buildings, countries etc, he would send you tube's of songs, movies and explain them too why he liked them and also wish me good greetings through out the day... it started bothering me, i didnt reply anymore, then he sent me info about this one tourist spot he thought i might like to go there if im interested, i replied and said maybe someday because i'm really busy right now, have a bunch of things to do, he know i'm working at my fathers office and its a really busy place, he'd been there before so he knows the situation. he still dindnt stop and kept on emailing...

until i got to the point where i cant take anymore, i felt really suffocated, i want to vomit when i see his name, i dont even want to open my mail anymore...i mean people are that weird? If i dont get a reply with one message i would stop but too much—?

what kind of people are these, i still dont get it. i know he didnt do anything wrong. maybe his intentions are good but he suffocated me..

Damn I'm glad I grew up in the pre Internet, pre cell phone, pre texting era. I actually had a childhood, enjoyed my interests in HS, and enjoyed my college experience. And did it all
without typing one darn message or receiving them back; Amazing days, huh?

Posted by gemtaur
Cause we hate hurting people's feelings and hope they just go away. An angry Gem that snaps is not normal M.O. This is standard issue Gem response. Might be mixed in with heightened sensitivity to confront things in Scape's case, but basically every Gem is pretty much this way.

We're great at communicating POSITIVE ideas, opinions, thoughts, concepts, etc., not so great with the negative stuff, especially when it relates to feelings, and especially other people's feelings.

Then what do you think scape should do? The more he messages her the more she resents him. Hence does communicating to him, only inforce his behavior?

Posted by gemini64

Posted by seascape
ok, sending thank u's or i got home safe after that is ok...i do that too and i reply the first message. after that it would feel redundant to me and completely uneccessary.

so here;s actually what happened, i spent tme with this friend, we see each other from time to time. then after that he sent thank u msg, and i replied with thanks too etc and wished him a good week. I also told him i will be busy which is true. then after that he sent another message which is normal still. i dint feel the need to reply. it was more like the last msg. then there was another and another and another...

he would send anything at least 3 0r 4 times a day.. i didnt reply anymore. he would send links, copy and pasted long explanations about buildings, countries etc, he would send you tube's of songs, movies and explain them too why he liked them and also wish me good greetings through out the day... it started bothering me, i didnt reply anymore, then he sent me info about this one tourist spot he thought i might like to go there if im interested, i replied and said maybe someday because i'm really busy right now, have a bunch of things to do, he know i'm working at my fathers office and its a really busy place, he'd been there before so he knows the situation. he still dindnt stop and kept on emailing...

until i got to the point where i cant take anymore, i felt really suffocated, i want to vomit when i see his name, i dont even want to open my mail anymore...i mean people are that weird? If i dont get a reply with one message i would stop but too much—?

what kind of people are these, i still dont get it. i know he didnt do anything wrong. maybe his intentions are good but he suffocated me..

Damn I'm glad I grew up in the pre Internet, pre cell phone, pre texting era. I actually had a childhood, enjoyed my interests in HS, and enjoyed my college experience. And did it all
without typing one darn message or receiving them back; Amazing days, huh?

click to expand

Good point.