Can I get some help?

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taxidermymermaid
@taxidermymermaid
14 Years

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So one night while hanging out we jokingly got into the topic of him liking me and I was teasing him saying things like "you liiiike me, you want to huuuug me" and he laughed and said that was very funny. And he would say in return "so you obviously like me" and it was just going back and forth. Then he says the only way I'll know if he likes me is if I ask him out.
So I say in this really dry, monotone voice "Will you go out with me?..." and he shoots back "no." And it got pretty awkward. Like, it was all funny until that point. I just shrugged and he asked if he was aggravating me and I told "yeah a little bit actually. Well I'm talk to you later" and we hung up. Sooo awkward. And then an hour later he had texted me apologizing for being such a jerk and hoping I don't completely hate him. I didn't respond because I was already sleep. But after I just said "it's okay". I dunno.

Can someone explain this behavior to me? I like him, but I think I'm just going to have to leave it at that. I get the vibe that he just wants to be friends.
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celticlioness
@celticlioness
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 2049 · Topics: 47
Posted by taxidermymermaid
So one night while hanging out we jokingly got into the topic of him liking me and I was teasing him saying things like "you liiiike me, you want to huuuug me" and he laughed and said that was very funny. And he would say in return "so you obviously like me" and it was just going back and forth. Then he says the only way I'll know if he likes me is if I ask him out.
So I say in this really dry, monotone voice "Will you go out with me?..." and he shoots back "no." And it got pretty awkward. Like, it was all funny until that point. I just shrugged and he asked if he was aggravating me and I told "yeah a little bit actually. Well I'm talk to you later" and we hung up. Sooo awkward. And then an hour later he had texted me apologizing for being such a jerk and hoping I don't completely hate him. I didn't respond because I was already sleep. But after I just said "it's okay". I dunno.

Can someone explain this behavior to me? I like him, but I think I'm just going to have to leave it at that. I get the vibe that he just wants to be friends.



I'll answer this in the context of Libra/Leo - I dated a Libra for a while 🙂 We are starting to date again.

I found with the Libra this going back and forth thing was pretty standard fare, it always seemed to be about bargaining with him which frustrated me no end, as a leo I like things to move along and go with the flow, but libra, you indecisive analysing beings you, seem to need to negotiate every action/feeling. I know libra are all about Balance and Fairness, but one thing to be aware of, Leo is about "Justice" and Fairness. I'm sensing, and I could be wrong, that he has told you he likes you and you haven't returned the favour - if you were on the subject of him liking you, when did the subject of you liking him come up - so he had to push it, unjust to not have it given back. There is something he is sensing as unjust in the interaction between the two of you. The text later, this means to me that he likes you definitely - he may have been upset that he didn't get from you what he was looking for and was a bit annoyed as he gave in the first place, but after a while wanted to make it ok with you again. I'm only going on my experiences with the Libra, but I found this type of thing quite common and to be honest hurtful at the time - he'd "charm" me into something then when I'd look for reciprocat
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celticlioness
@celticlioness
15 Years1,000+ Posts

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continued...

for reciprocation he would tell me how "fair" he had been, but in all honesty when I pointed out the real facts of the situation he would see where he had just put "fair" on his side of things and hadn't actually seen the whole scenario for what had actually happened, could give you a great example but its probably and bit TMI for this 😉

If he has told you he likes you and you just joked around with it and made it a funny you have hurt his ego - you will lose him in this way.
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taxidermymermaid
@taxidermymermaid
14 Years

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He didn't actually say he liked me. I think he complimented me on my niceness or something and then I began to tease him. Ever since that day I feel like he's been distancing himself. Not wanting to spend as much time with me. He still hangs out with me, but he finds reason to go sooner than he did before. I am sometimes considered a Scorpio, does this change anything? Right now I'm trying to convince myself that I *don't* so save myself the trouble.
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celticlioness
@celticlioness
15 Years1,000+ Posts

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Did you compliment him back? See guys, and especially leos and virgos IMO, need reciprocation, but leos, joking after he issued a compliment.... for me that would be a no no. Honestly with you now, I've just done the same with the Libra, he didn't give back, we are no longer, as of 49 minutes ago, "dating". I've pulled right back - Next.

Look, Leo's love to hunt/chase, if we are being honest even the ladies do, but they like to know the hunt or chase is on and welcome, otherwise forget it.
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celticlioness
@celticlioness
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 2049 · Topics: 47
Why did you say that? Do you just want to be friends. I'd say you have confused him a bit - and this libra back and forth thing - he will get bored with it.

Next time you see him, tell him you like him, don't refer to whats passed, it'll remind him of the "snub". "Joking about liking each other" he wasn't joking. Another thing to remember for Leo's - don't laugh at us, don't make us the butt of your jokes.

Do you like him? Do you want to date him?
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taxidermymermaid
@taxidermymermaid
14 Years

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Hmm... I don't think it's possible for the two of us to date for distance reasons. But I don't know... I mean I have personally been in a long distance relationship before...but would he even consider the idea? I have no clue. You are probably right... I should just not mention it and let it flow.

I asked a friend of mine what he thought about it. And he told me "From his perspective, it just looks like he was joking but accidentally took it a bit far so he just apologized." What do you think? Sounds plausible, unfortunately...
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taxidermymermaid
@taxidermymermaid
14 Years

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No, I haven't met him in person. We have spent many, many hours in online skype calls. I had no intentions of ever liking him. We are a part of the same online community.

He didn't say he liked me. He just complimented me once or twice. He has given me a nickname. He texts me quite often. Because of the excessive amount of time we are in contact, I guess I just couldn't help but like him. He is very easy to get along with and truthfully he meets all of my standards. I don't find myself liking people often, so I am surprised that I can like someone that I've never met face-to-face.

Maybe I'm over analyzing this as I usually do.
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celticlioness
@celticlioness
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 2049 · Topics: 47
Noooo, listen now, you do not know this man nor he you. You are building up a fantasy based on things that have been said over the internet and text, this cannot make a relationship, relationships are real, organic - you need to touch, see, smell, feel, see facial expressions and nuances, hear laughter, anger and sadness. You shouldn't be analyzing or nothing else. If you are online "friends" then just do that, if you upset each other in some way, because you don't know each other really so no way to know his personality, then it doesn't matter. It would be like you and me having a big disagreement right now, would you be upset, NO, because you are not building up some romantic scenario with me.

Just enjoy your online friendship and stop analysing it. Ignore all my previous advice - I thought you two were at the beginning of dating 🙂 YOu just enjoy yourself and don't worry about his reaction to anything you say. Oh you, you daft Libra you - so sweet really.
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sheathedclaws
@sheathedclaws
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 103 · Posts: 1475 · Topics: 62
Posted by celticlioness
Did you compliment him back? See guys, and especially leos and virgos IMO, need reciprocation, but leos, joking after he issued a compliment.... for me that would be a no no. Honestly with you now, I've just done the same with the Libra, he didn't give back, we are no longer, as of 49 minutes ago, "dating". I've pulled right back - Next.

Look, Leo's love to hunt/chase, if we are being honest even the ladies do, but they like to know the hunt or chase is on and welcome, otherwise forget it.



Celtic, you're a true Lioness. A big hell yeah to a woman who knows what she wants 🙂
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taxidermymermaid
@taxidermymermaid
14 Years

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Go on dates with people she doesn't like, apparently. (that is an indication on how much I liked my date this evening).

But regarding this, I think you all may be surprised by how many relationships work between people who meet over the internet. You get to know them on many intimate levels at a quicker rate because you can do virtually nothing else but talk to them. I know a woman who made friends with a man online and she was extremely skeptical, as most of us probably would be. But she ended up meeting him after knowing him for 6 months and they were right for each other and have been together for over a year now. At that point it's just a "normal" relationship.
Now, I'm not saying that this is the case with me and this guy, but it does and can happen. Never have I been so taken with someone's personality. A friendship or a relationship can grow organically through phone conversations too, but I will agree that until you meet them face-to-face all you really have is some kind of imaginary relationship.

Well anyway, I decided to just ask him straight foward, a bit gingerly, but still to the point. It turned out really well 🙂.