High Stakes Relationships

How do you know when you're in one of these?

This quote from Seraph had me thinking about it:

Posted by seraph

But accidents happen. People deserve a break. If he put you up on a pedestal, without maintaining a little flexibility, he placed the relationship in a dangerous position. For a partner to brook absolutely no mistakes from the other is a dangerous way to play. The stakes are too high.

From the thread: https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/making-it-up-to-the-leo-after-let-down-5505807/

I hate these types and I'm certain I've experienced it. Sad. Damn. Oh well can't.. decide when to bounce and move on..

Posted by seraph

Posted by 037
How do you know when you're in one of these?

When it decides whether you'll be happy about all the great stuff in your life before you were in the relationship.

click to expand

Very controlling, yes.

Sometimes, its so subtle, expertly maneuvered to isolate the other party and wield absolute power over the other person and the relationship.

Posted by 037

Posted by seraph

Posted by 037
How do you know when you're in one of these?

When it decides whether you'll be happy about all the great stuff in your life before you were in the relationship.

Very controlling, yes.

Sometimes, its so subtle, expertly maneuvered to isolate the other party and wield absolute power over the other person and the relationship.

click to expand

That's more along the line of an abusive relationship.

😢

Yep.

While in it though, its rather hard to tell.

Posted by seraph
The point is to not attach to relationships as a measure of self-worth. You were already a whole, complete person before any relationship, and that which sustains you through all relationships and all struggles, knows no need, experiences no lack, and is fundamentally stable and imperturbable.

No matter who you happen to be with, whether for a short time or even a lifetime, do your best to get to know and cleave to that place of stability. It already knows that everything in your life shares the same fundamental destiny.

Good advice.

My mom says it as having a life before coming into a relationship. I think that trying to change someone you were attracted to for being themselves in the first place is pretty sad.

Such deep insecurities.