How does this Leo male feel?

I want to start this by stating that at the very start of my relationship with this Leo male he asked me why I was not dating because I was so beautiful and great and it seemed odd that I did not have a bf. I told him that giuys get too clingly and that they have a hard time with me needing my independance. He then stated you are a breath of fresh air and things have been really great. What I seem to notice is that if I pull away a little he will try a little harder. Let me give an example: last week we had plans on a certain night at around 6:30pm....he text me at about 3:30 to let me know he had to meet me where we were going because he spaced plans for his friends birthday. Honestly I was a little upset because I just think it is rude to wait until 3 hours before to do that. I kindly stated that it is no bi deal and that we can reschedule plans if needed. And he said no I would still really like to see you tonight and do not want to break our plans and can meeet you after. So we agreed on that. He doesn't text me until 10 and asked if I was still there and I said yes. He said he was going to meet me and honestly being a little upset from the situation/combined with the fact my friends were starting to leave I just said we'll it is dying down so it may not be worth it and left it at that....did not say we could do something else or anything. He immediately text me back with we'll I would really like to see you and it is always worth it when your involved ect. Needless to say we ended up meeting up, but why do leo males cancel plans like that at last minute when they really like someone? I notice if I am a little distant that he comes chasing with no pride at all but if start to let my wall down a bit he becomes arrogant. I don't understand this. I can tell he likes me. He makes plans with me on his only days off for the week and says he wishes he could see me more, tells me I am beautiful, talks about me to his parents and we hang out with his friends alot. Just looking for a little insight on this hot and cold aspect of the leo male??

lovesaleo that is typical leo behavior (immature leo male behavior) honestly he blew you off which means I don't really like you like that (YET) yes they come running when he's no longer the source of making your sun come up in the morning and yes they (some leo men) can be quite apathatic and blow a person off once he's secure he has a complete hold over your heart. My suggestion is to go live your life, if he's late, don't answer your phone, don't be available, don't pretend it's okay to be late and it's okay to make plans with other people after making plans with you (it's rude) when you PRETEND like that a man knows, he know it's rude, he know on a certain level that he shouldn't have played you out like that and you just took it and pretended to be okay with it, that's being FAKE....That was the moment to be a QUEEN, turn your nose up and keep it moving by being completely unavailable and let him find YOU, find a way to make up for treating you that way b/c honestly if he hadn't shown up if it were me I wouldn't have met up with him that night, he snooze he lose, catch me later...don't be a doormat, don't pretend to be happy or okay with something if your not, be yourself and don't let men waste your time and energy....

I suggest moving on unless on some level you enjoy how he behaves b/c you can't change him and you also have to sort of kick yourself in the foot by revealing so much about why your single, on some level you caused this yourself by revealing you don't want clingy men, you are independent and you make it seem like you don't need a man, so he most likely figures you won't be bothered if he blows you off since you are so independent, an independent woman really would have blowed him off and caught up with him later (later as in days later b/c she's too busy DOING her own life) you didn't seem that independent that night, you seemed needy (as in you needed him to show up no matter what time it was) so be careful about what you reveal to a man, he may perceive this independent attitude as you being so strong that he can treat you like a man.

If you have a man type attitude, show arrogance as you did that your so beautiful that men just hang all over you a man will treat you like a guy or like a friend and that's how he's treating you, although he's smittened by your beauty he won't be your doormat like so many men have been, so now he's acting out, showing DOMINANCE over you by making you wait on him, you don't want a clingy man well he's going to give that to you by making you wait all the time until YOU BECOME DEPENDENT on him, you become the clingy one (it appears to be working), so now you have him believing on some level you are so independent that you don't care what he does so he's going to test that boundary until you break...When he behaves like this and you don't like it, it's not something you hide but you distance yourself for a few days, if you make plans and he doesn't show up, you have to be able to say hey if your not on time I'm unavailable, see you when I see you (that's the attitude of a Queen) not a bitch witch but a person that is independent and self sufficient and won't wait on anyone...

So maybe you should be careful about how you talk about men in your past...instead of revealing negatives about them, just keep it neutral and say something along the lines of we both wanted different things so it was an amicable split, when we reveal too much or reveal something such as men stalking or clinging it can set the tone of the rest of the interactions and it's not always a positive experience...On some level this guy may feel he has to play games to keep you focused on him, keep your attention but I can't really blame him given you don't really appreciate positive male attention.

I see all your pints tiki and I agree. I probably shouldn't of met him that night but in my defense when he started texting me I was blowing him off and he was saying we'll I am on my way because I want to see you and I told him no. The event was dying down anyways....then he stated that we could do something else and I took him up on that offer an hour later. When we did meet up it was with a bunch of friends and I did not give him attention really...I equally talked to everyone and actually ran into some of my friends there that I spent some time with. I am not sure why he gets under my skin so much....normally I wouldn't have blew a guy off that did that to me but its hard when it comes to him. SO you say if something like that happens again completely blow him off if he trys to meet up?? That I can do and probably should have done that night. The only thing that makes this hard is our schedules. He works so much that if we do not see eachother on his two days off we don't at all unless he asks to meet up with me after he gets off work really late and I do not have to work the next morning. He works 15 hour days. I work and go to school so our schedules really don't workout but he does ask me out on everyone of his days off. The first couple months I would NEVER be open on both of the days he wanted to hangout but as we get closer spending those two days with him is really nice. I do completely have my own life, friends, and goals and he knows that. So in your opinion he just not that into me? Neither of us have openly talked about our feeling other than him saying I can't wait to see you or wish I could be me you instead of at work or that he misses me.

I think by revealing the information I did he will be shy about telling me how he feels or apearing that he is too into me but I guess I will not know if that is the case or if he really is just not that into me.

I stand by what I said....blowing a man off is responding ONCE and moving along, to continue texting back and forth is not blowing a man off, if your responding then your available...blowing him off is leaving before he shows up, that's blowing him off, deep down (I know b/c I too have been in this place you are in many moons ago) you wanted to see him which is nothing wrong with that but don't take crumbs, that's my point...Don't make him believe he can blow YOU OFF and just show up when it's convenient for him...He made ALTERNATIVE plans to be some place else when he knew he had already made solid plans with you, that's him blowing you off from the start....IMO b/c he literally made you last on his planner he would have not seen me that night, not to punish him but to send the clear distinct message that I'm just as important as he is, my time is important, my energy is important and if he doesn't feel that way then he can move along and another man will gladly pick up were he couldn't....That's a Queen attitude...Listen leo men (not all but I know the ones I know and have lived with) have a tendency to look down there nose at people, not in a snooty way but in a I'm more important than anyone on earth type of way, you have to balance the scales and bring your Queen attitude or he will not respect you and treat you half ass.

As for his schedule...Why are you worried about it? He will find time, period, he will miss work if he has to to get next to you...Don't worry about seeing him, go live your life and let him figure out how to maintain a connection with you, if he doesn't do that well he was never really all that into you as it appeared....I grew up with a leo brother, they are determined and will make it happen. The only time I noticed when my X and my brother were lazy when it was something they really wasn't into, didn't want that much and wasn't enjoyable to them.

He took you for granted, I don't know if that's the first time but make it the last....Once that starts it's pretty much heading downhill, when a man gets too comfortable and too familiar he doesn't place as much importance on his woman, balance the scales or it will be over in a few weeks/months anyway.

He made PLANS with you and opted to be some place else...THAT'S A SIGN...He's losing interest

Those 2 days are becoming boring, routine and it's most likely causing him to lose interest, if you were dating other men you wouldn't be so available to this one man that hasn't made a real solid commitment/decision about you yet....That's a lot of emotional investment in a man that hasn't made a commitment with you yet....your likely to be disappointed by this guy

Suggestion, go out on a few dates, go have fun, just get back into you, your flirty, fun self, it will shift the vibe and build your inner confidence as well, this isn't to punish you or to punish him, it's to help him feel safe that your not locking him down b/c he's most likely dating to have fun but now that things have been pretty routine he's had to think about his relationship with you...as in do I go further or do I create confusion to push her way, seems he's figuring it out...give him plenty space to do that.

If he's the ONLY ONE around a man feels pressured, everything shifts from fun to feeling pressured then he distance himself like he did that night, he doesn't mean to hurt you or disrespect you but your not helping the situation by only dating him....I bet he was out on a date that night too LOL, SMDH leo men are something else.

Thank you for all the great feebback and I will for sure take all into consideration. Yes, that was the first time that happened and I was worried it was because he was loosing interest. I would have thought he opted for another date if it wasn't for the fact that we had been with all his friends the following week when they where talking about his friends birthday and going out for that! (that's what he was doing) And sure enough all the boys where there when I got there. Yes, I know I should NOT have gone. I completely agree....that was dumb.

Here is the confusing part....if he was loosing interest something that night must have made him gain it back because he spent the entire next day with me and has not stop initiating covsersation since. I have not initiated it once nor have I been quick to get back to him. I hate playing games but I almost feel like I have to in order to keep him on his toes. He also asked to take me out this Saturday (today)! I would say he was very cold breaking those plans but has been very warm since....why??

I dunno I have a feeling he was with someone at that party, that just my opinion and I myself have been with enough leo men to know how they are and can be, and there friends are fiercely loyal as well, again that's my opinion, I don't want to seem cynical but I know how they can juggle things between women but for the most part leo males are are warm in general but you have to understand that you are not HIS yet so to give him so much of yourself is a huge mistake and it creates discontent in men that are not ready...I don't feel you are playing games nor is he...THIS IS NATURAL OUTCOMES that happen between men and women and if you are not dating anyone else your primary focus will be on him, will be him and that creates PRESSURE on a man....

See we women are the LAST to know, the men are DOING all the SAME ACTIONS, taking us out, subtly talking about a future together but it's the unspoken stuff that we never are aware of until it's over, poof he's gone, moved on to a new girl and were left to figure it all out, him opting to not be with you that night after making plans is a sure SIGN that he's losing motivation, but that's not a bad thing, it's just that most women don't know how to balance things out when she senses the tides turning away from her, if you understood he's bored ON SOME LEVEL (he's bored) then you would understand the importance of SPACE, giving him space even when he's asking for more time, that's the more attractive approach and it puts him at ease as well...If you really are independent like you say you are, why would you give him all of your free time, that doesn't say independence, that says needy/clingy.

My suggestion and yes this is hard but don't tie up your Saturday's with him, find something or someone else to do, if your not comfortable going out on a real date then go out with your friends, go have fun, go focus on YOURSELF....Your in the dumping danger zone for sure. You won't get to commitment by tying up all your free time being with him, it will get you dumped though.

Leo men hate boredom, abhor it and they bore easily, too much togetherness is a breeding ground for boredom, meeting 2x's a week may not seem like a lot but it is for someone that hasn't given you the type of commitment you want.

Read my words carefully, the dumping you for a night out after making solid plans is a sure sign for things to come...you didn't react like a Queen and right now he's going through the motions but he's subtly lost a bit of respect for you on a subconscious level.

If you choose to ignore and hope it doesn't happen again your in for a bit of disappointment, it will happen again b/c through your own behavior you sent the wrong message...YOU rewarded him for behaving poorly, thats not a good thing, once a man see he gets rewards which includes more sex, more attention, more of your time he begins to slowly introduce more of that kind of behavior into the relationship...That is why I said your reaction and response was not the correct one given this situation with him, you don't blow up and act a fool of course not but you don't pretend to be happy despite his poor behavior...You can be sure this will surface again and again

Women play a huge part in how she's treated by a man, if your message is I'm okay when you do something I don't like, I will swallow it, take it, pretend and fake about it then you will be treated half ass and it's nobodies fault but your own, you will also invite the hot and cold men in as well and all kinds of other men that will give you half ass experiences...

You don't allow a man's behavior to control you, control your happiness, nor control how you feel about yourself but at the same time you don't pretend everything is fine when it's not...recipe for disaster, the right thing to do in this situation was to move on, as in go some place else, have alternative plans and invite a guy friend with you or ditch the party and go out with a guy or girl-friend, removing yourself away from the situation. It didn't sound like you were having fun anyways, seemed like you were waiting on him.

I feel it's hugely naive on your part to believe he's not dating anyone else...He's a leo for goodness sakes, that says a lot within itself but for the most part it's a huge mistake on your part with any man to assume your the only one, maybe you feel that way b/c as you have pointed out your attractive but don't for a second think that you have this man all to yourself, that's a huge error on your part, especially if he has not spoken about how he feels on a deep emotional level which includes making things formal, if he hasn't made it verbal that he's taking himself off the market then he's not committed which means he's dating and talking to other women. If your still an option and not the one then I would suggest you not taking yourself off the market just yet.

Okay, so since I did not make definate plans with him this weekend I think I will make other plans instead! Your right I need to go on other dates which I will do!! He has said things not so directly that make me think he is not seeing other people but I know when men want things they are usually very blunt about it. I will shock him by not being open this week and see how things go! I guess if he really likes me he will still come around and if not time to move on!

Oh yeah tiki.....I wanted to tell you too....I dated a Leo before too that I found to be much more a typical Leo behavior! He pursued me.....caught me and was very warm and I never had to guess how he felt for me. It look him a few months to say I love you.....but I could tell he really meant it. One day I really hurt his pride with a fight we got in (he was really needy) and he vanished....we made up....but I could tell he didn't feel the same. We are still friends 4 years later just did not work out romantically.....This is the type of Leo I am used too.....not the one I am seeing now! Do you suppose the Ist Leo is testing to see if I will always be availible??

I dunno maybe I'm not making myself clear this week, I'm unusually tired but I don't feel you get were I'm coming from.

One your just dating, DATING, that means he's dating other women as well, I know you want to believe otherwise but to assume your the only woman in his life is rather naive on your part, this isn't just a leo thing by the way, it's just something you should be aware of as you go about your dating journey.

This isn't about GAMES, that's the negative approach and you don't want to make it about games and pulling away to GET him to love you, want you, look for you, that's all temporary stuff....It's about you focusing on YOU not him that makes him want you more, living your life, being complete which includes being completely happy, not being attached to him as your source of happiness is very attractive...Not tying up all your free time to be with him is very attractive and it gives him the opportunity to breathe and do his own thing...

So many of us feel it's games, have this I will leave and make him chase me, that's immature and women that do that lack confidence...If your truly independent as you say you are you certainly wouldn't be worried about him loving you b/c you know if your doing YOU, living your own life love will always come to you.

Right now your behavior is very unattractive and most likely this will end in a few months, I am not talking down on you or your relationship but women that behave like you don't keep men around for too long. My advice is to relax, learn to balance HIM with the rest of your life, give a bit of yourself to each person/thing that is the most important to you and things will work out in a more natural way....Right now your focus on "GETTING LOVE" specifically his love is the very driving force that will end things between the 2 of you...

Sorry I am making myself very unclear too! I am not needy or clingy on him at all. I have a ton of friends all of which he has met and I spend most of my time with during the week. I also just graduated and hold a full -time(needy) job....as does he so we can only spend very little time together, but it has been 4 months now! I am just trying to understand his leo ways not get him to love me exactly and I am not in a rush to make this into a relationship. I was just trying to get some insight on how he felt and what his actions mean. I do really care for him and love spending time with him but if it doesn't work out it doesn't! Leo's just fasinate me for some reason, but he is by no means my center of attention. I may have made it sound like that (my apologies) but I am just putting emphasis on our world together instead of giving you the big picture.

How can we tell you how he FEELS? He's around 4 months later so of course their is some sort of attraction on his part, how deep that is no one here can really say (least I don't believe we can)...I understand were your coming from, I used to be fascinated with my leo as well, there is plenty on DXP to read up on.

Tiki

you are very good! you do have some tough words but your no-nonsense attitude is really helping ME as well!
i am seeing a leo guy (i too am a leo) and i am feeling very much that i'm clinging to him which irritates me very much. he did say to me too that he really wanted to see me even-though he had to meet other friends but "he would do whatever he can to see me" and when i finally came - after work - i'm more the sideline, didn't offer to buy me a drink in the club and didn't try to make me feel that special as he claimed on the phone "want to see you very much". actually i was pretty pissed off that he got me to a place where he didn't know how to dance to and nor did i but was just standing there and watching ppl dance, no 'convo' no effort to flirt and have fun with me. it was only our second date together (i would have thought you'd spend as much as possible with the person in the time you have no?!!) he just left me drifting off to the other side of the room and he stayed talking to his friends!!! "whaat??! how could you?!!!" i was screaming in my head! only danced with me twice in the whole time when my boddy language was shouting 'ask me to dance with you'...

but then again he's the best snogger i've ever had!!! so he does have a passionate side to him. or does he?

like today, i really wanted to see him as i've finish work super early but his a chock of block with his schedule this week. and i'm not at all. so it's looking as if i'm running after him now! damn, he can see right through me! he knows that i like him very much, but i know that he does too! yet he keeps his cards very close to his chest. sometimes i'm wondering if he's already off me.

should i used an "i-don't-care-much" attitude to lure him back?

Posted by LenLeo
should i used an "i-don't-care-much" attitude to lure him back?

I believe that Tiki has already addressed this, and in my very small .02 worth, I think you know the answer to the very question you have posed. I dated a Leo for awhile and Tiki's advice helped immensely. Everything she said - I ALREADY KNEW; I just (at a moment) chose not to listen to it, but that only lasted for a moment, and I TRULY read her advice and already knew she was right and DID ME! If it's meant to be...it will be. I did my own thing, and he did his...but he's (trying) to be back in my life, but guess what - if it's not on MY terms, it can't/won't be. I think that's the posture you need to take. No games, just simply DOING YOU. Don't let ANY man play you, because they will. Libra/Leo/Taurus/Cap/Aqua, trust in the fact, if they think they can play you and "have their cake and eat it too," 9 out of 10 men will do that. I know this because I have a gang of male friends all of different signs, ages, socio-economic backgrounds, and the one thing they have in common is that they will do whatever they feel they can get away with - TRUST ME!