I met a really pathetic Leo woman

I met her 2 months ago and haven't had many encounters with her.
So far all I've picked up from 2-3 full days with her are the following
-a constant need for attention in a demanding way, if she doesn't get it she starts sulking hard
-recently got dumped and is still trying to show off 'how she's over her ex' by dressing up and going to same events. The guy ignored her every time and she gets hysterical/drama/crying in public and people stare. A long talk afterwards, a promise to not do it again and bam.. the next chance she gets she's at it again.
-a strong need for validation that what she's doing is correct, even when it's not.
-doesn't handle criticism well at all so friends tip toe around issues
-...

From what I could tell, this shouldn't be Leo behavior. Jeesh where is that proud cat mentality gone? This is a whimpering, drama creating black hole and it's really getting on my nerves. Any idea as to how you can 'handle' this? I tried being nice and I tried being blunt, yet she keeps holding on to her old ways like crazy. No desire to outgrow her childish needs and actions, this is also fed by surroundings that don't promote her to be independent in my opinion.

I want her to grow a pair, get her act together and stop being so dependent on the others around her for everything.

She sounds immature stubborn definitely not your typical Leo, just ignore her or change the subject maybe she's smart enough to catch a clue

Posted by Gandalf
just ignore her or put your foot down sharply if you have to see her everyday. No one cares if you are getting annoyed as we all have to deal with annoying people in our daily life.

Whatever issues are bothering you, no need to project them on me now 🙂

I care if I get annoyed because she's not just doing it to me but 8 other people in a group.
I thought it best to seek out some information as to the why or how, and then handle it.
There's no ignoring her, she's messing up an entire dynamic and we cannot get rid of her.
So I want to change some things, perhaps fix what's been bothering her, but to do that you need to understand first.

Tada, guess why I'm here asking other Leo's if this is normal behavior?

That is an immature Leo's behavior.. a shame, really.

Posted by Gandalf
If you can show her appreciation for her "good" qualities and encourage her and give her recognition in the group then she might overcome the natural sin in all leos which is a starving weak ego.

Al leos want at the end of the day is to know they are appreciated and recognized for who they are. Mature leos turn the spotlight on others who need it because they don't need outer fuel(compliments, attention etc)and love themselves and are incredibly warm to others.

in effect if you can find those rare monets when she is a lioness instead of spoilt brat then please encourage and recognize these qualities in her. At the same time please be firm about her negative attention seeking behavior and indicate that it is not attractive.

+1

@Seraph: She's part of a friend group and has a lot of history so there's no tossing her aside. Rather than discard the old I'm trying to fix it so she can be a genuine part of it all again. No more drama (for a while) and stop acting out in public with random moments of crying over nothing. I'm not seeing her personally no, but she's affecting my time with the others. My payoff is that I can enjoy going out with them and not have to babysit her 🙂

@Gandalf: well she gets plenty of attention already but none of the good kind. It's all too mothering for my taste and it clearly didn't help, she's just enjoying it right now. "when I cry, I get attention", that's what this has turned into. Hmm I can work with that "she needs to know she's appreciated and loved", plans are forming. She gets so much stuff done for her by others that want to avoid her crying again. Spoiling her rotten 🙂

@Jynja: oooh that's brilliant! I'm going to make her watch that, love the show and that's how I see them. All proud and regal, since she's a real girly girl she can appreciate that no doubt. I just took another female member of that group (that also recently got dumped) for 2 days with me and she's back on top of the world. She's a scorpio but you could see how she went from hunched over to fully upright, chest forward and that fire in her eyes again. All it takes it someone that listens and the right push here & there. Yeah I know what I need to do with this one, if she'll let me that is.

@Woundedleo: the Ex factor is only a recent thing, but this has gone on a lot longer.. even from before I joined this pack. She's always found a way to get servants that cater her every need. It's not working out anymore right now, since she's not the only problem currently in that group. Her usual drama is adding that final strain on everything and I predict that it'll tear things up. I'm going to try to get her for some alone time but I don't know if she'll go for it. She complained that she also wanted a makeover and whatnot, but hasn't made any effort to reach out to me, or respond to my efforts. It'll just take some time to get this project running.

My payoff out of all this, is that I can relax and spend drama free time with the one I'm protecting. Unburden him by fixing the mess sort of speaking, or at least try to.

Thanks everyone. Now to download the Tudors —

Posted by seraph
Does the group share your concerns? Have they tried to do anything or have they just accepted her? What are the others saying about all this? Are they taking this as seriously as you are?

Are you more interested in taking on a patient as a project, as it were, or are you genuinely and personally affected by what she's doing?

Ultimately, I doubt she'll change quickly enough for your tastes, and I think she'd rather act the injured party if she were brought to book on her behaviour, than actually
change.

Seven out of the 9 people mentioned it to me that she's full of drama and they're tired of it happening so often, but some seem to have accepted her like that, or just don't care anymore. Some actively avoid her so.. something has to be done 🙂

Don't know her well enough yet and barely have any emotional connection with her to say I care for her. She's more a project right now, but perhaps it'll change when I get to know her. Part of me has pity for her situation and her reaction to it all.

How do you figure she won't change fast enough for me? I got time and I want to do something other than being idle and having to see her ruin my evening with them. The only thing I'm worried about it your last remark being true. That she'll avoid facing the reality of her behavior and sulk in a corner again, rather than change. But we won't know until we try right?

Posted by Jynja
I wonder though, from the original post, it seems she's not very focused on getting attention from the group, but from her ex. She seems to be doing everything to get his attention.

Am I right, Ormas?

I admit, I've done something of the sort before, but I had an ally in an old friend. He agreed to go to a cafe I knew my ex liked to go to and pretend to be with me to make the ex jealous and convinced I had moved on. What can I say, I was rather young and had oodles of time. 😛
However, we got there, he met his friends and soon we were a large group talking and sharing experiences about mutual interesting topics and having a lot of fun. I don't even remember seeing the ex come in or go out. Later though, he told me he was happy I had moved on.

The ex story was an example as to how she took that and turned every opportunity into a drama fest. Like new years eve, she suggested we go out. Everyone agreed on the place because it was close and we had drunk some alcohol so no cars.. turns out her plan all along was to confront her ex by being dressed up, pimped out and then dancing next to him to show him what he's missing. When that failed she mounted a friend and practically dry humped him, making everyone in the room stare, except her ex who was gone. She goes out to look for him, doesn't find him, starts screaming & crying in the middle of a dancing crowd. THAT's what bothers me.

Last week she did it again, during a carnival celebration. Ex showed up 'magically at the same place' (is she stalking him?) and he ignored her. Big sulkfest, her sweater got stolen and bam, out came the waterworks ruining everyone's evening once again.

She wants attention from him, but when she doesn't get it she works out her frustration on the group. Sadly I live a little far to be at small frequent gatherings too, so bigger fun things I'm going to. Perhaps she's not talking about her ex & stuff when she's in a smaller band of people, but I just see her every time with a drama setup. Then the entire evening is about her.

3 days ago we went ice skating with everyone, it was all great since everyone joined in. Turns out she can't ice skate (neither can I, haven't done it in over 9 years) but she didn't want to try or practice either. She demanded 2 people at all time to hold her hand and skate with her, holding them hostage. I asked her if she wanted to join me sin

I asked her if she wanted to join me since I couldn't do it well either.

She refused any way I asked her until someone else came by and she clung to him like crazy. She enjoys playing this helpless victim role but she so isn't. GAH!

Don't even know if this makes sense anymore 🙂

Posted by Jynja
Oh gosh! She's that kind of Leo?

Well, do you have a natural leader of the group? T'would be awesome if you had a Scorpio in your group. lol She needs someone to put her in her place to either play with the group or stay at home. It's not kicking her out, it's letting her know she's not the only person with issues in the group.

Someone that can command her to, "Quit ya yapping and sit you little bitching ass down on that bench if you're not going to play nice. And the next time you go after your ex, do it alone or else we'll never go anywhere with you again."

That kind of Leo, glad to see you know the type I'm referring to.

The natural leader of the group is a Taurus and he's like a dad for her. He can handle her like nobody else, but that's the thing.. nobody else can handle her. The only scorpio I know of in the group, is the one I had with me for a reboot in 2 days. She said 'I'm back and the first bitch that starts yapping about her ex or drags my mood down, is getting a brick to the face'. I think I know what she was referring to 😛

I know someone has to sit her ass down and tell her how it is. If nobody else is going to do it, it might as well be me. I don't care what happens to me but bottling this all up will make me miserable.

Can I take you with me next time? 😄

Posted by WoundedLeo
Yeah it sounds like she needs a "pounding" (LOL excuse the expression). She won't take it well, that's for sure, but it's bound to make here think.

Jynja is right tho', it would be best if it came from a "father figure". For one, it would sit better with her and for two it would have more of an effect.

Things are in movement already, I kept this in mind 😉