The Lion and the Bull

Whew...!

As usual, I??ve strayed from the pasture and plopped down, unabashedly, in the pride lands. :-p

Well, I have an update to share. Anyone remotely interested in Leo-Taurus dynamics may choose to read on (apologies, in advance, for the lengthiness. I did try to keep it concise, but there ya go).

In recent months, Mr. Leo (mentioned in a previous thread) and I have been in touch. I??ve been busy with my own life, he's been busy with all the things going on in his life, so we haven't spoken all that much outside the context of short text messages and Facebook quips. However??_

A couple weeks after we —friended?? each other on Facebook, Mr. Leo initiated a conversation with me. We engaged in some initial chit-chat, wherein I explained my (at the time) current living situation and job search. During a pause, I asked him what he??d been up to recently. He told me about how busy he has been (work and other commitments), and how he has been dealing with —psychological issues?? that have been weighing on him, especially within the past year. These were details that I already knew of vaguely, since he alluded to them in a previous text message. But then, abruptly, he revealed something very personal to me. It was an unexpected turn of events. After revealing this personal subject to me, he immediately typed: —what do you think about htat? / i understand if you don't accept it. you might not want to speak with me anymore.?? I immediately reassured him that I was supportive, and would not stop speaking to him because of this revelation.

After further establishing trust and validation, we ended up having a long conversation (approx. 3 hours), mostly about this particular personal subject, and also about other things that he has been contemplating recently (sense of confusion, a sort of identity conflict, not knowing if he wants to pursue love and/or relationships in the near future, etc.) In the beginning of the conversation, shortly after the initial revelation, he said that he doesn't reveal this part of himself to many people, and he chose to tell me because —i know you??re a genuinely good person, I can just tell by your personality. and I trust you. / like, I know we don't talk often. But I feel like I know you well. And I don't want to lie to you.?? I thanked him for putting trust in me, assured him that I care about him, and repeated that I would like to be supportive. (cont'd)

We did speak again the following weekend. He started a conversation after seeing a music link that I posted, and the conversation turned into a short talk about what we??d done in the past week. He revealed a little bit more about his struggles, and the conversation ended with me encouraging him to be a lion-beast--let out a RAAWWWR! He got a laugh out of it and thanked me for the words of encouragement.

After reflecting on the deeper conversation that we??d had, I sent him a considerably more serious message to reiterate my willingness to be supportive and offer encouragement any way that I possibly could. He responded a few days later and said, —I would like us to plan a meet and greet, just to catch up over coffee or something else.??

Following that was another long lull in contact. I texted him last week with news about my upcoming summer job, and he called me directly a couple days later to find out what was going on. When I mentioned that I would be out of the area for most of the summer, he seemed taken aback, and then quickly figured out a day that we could meet up.

We hadn't seen each other since January, but when he came to pick me up and I sat down in the passenger seat, it was like no time had passed at all. I feigned detachment and then said, —Well, well, we meet again! It's been a while.?? —Yeah,?? he agreed, —why has it been so long— A moment later, he added: —Well, I??ve been so busy, it's difficult to make plans??_?? We sped down the road on a quest for a gas station (he had meant to fill the tank the day before, but of course, here we were, at the point of having a tiny amount of gas :-p). We talked almost non-stop during the quest for gas, and in the hours following.

Our first destination was a cool caf? in the Italian Market, where I had this gluttonous hot chocolate beverage, and, after showing Mr. Leo panna cotta in the display case, he decided to try it for the first time. We sat and chatted for about half an hour (during which time he accidentally scalded his tongue when sipping the hot chocolate beverage through a straw), and then decided to head out.

We drove up toward the parkway, got stuck in a traffic circle while trying to figure out where to park (joking all the while about that one scene in —National Lampoon??s European Vacation??), and eventually walked around the set of famous stairs at the art museum. (Cont'd)

The rest of the night was spent in the gardens surrounding the museum and the grassy area along the river. We tried, unsuccessfully, to climb an old oak tree (Mr. Leo strained his shoulder, I scraped my arms—Mr. Leo: —Why did I do that? That was a terrible idea!??) I teased him about the injuries that he had sustained thus far, and patted his sore shoulder. We checked out the edge of the water for a little while before moving further on. (—Let's see where that path leads!??) Amongst his chattiness, Mr. Leo revealed his fear of spiders, and hoped that we wouldn't unwittingly walk into any webs along the way. I extended my arms and said that I would forge ahead, and he playfully shoved me forward. There was a paved path that we continued on for some time, checking out some of the illuminated boat houses. I led him to the edge of the water near one house, in particular, and he commented on how the darkness and mystery of the water seemed so intimidating. (—If I was standing at the edge of a cliff, it would be fine, I would see how far it goes; but looking down at this, not knowing how deep it is, it's scary. Fear of the unknown??_??)

Eventually, we settled on a remote bench overlooking the river. The weather was mild, slightly breezy, nearly perfect. It was here that we had a deeper discussion, about science, about relationships, about work, about life and ambitions??_ At different times, he complimented me on my posture, my intelligence, my way with words, and the idea that I have —the perfect body—?_ We spoke quite extensively about his recent —falling out?? with his ex-girlfriend. I listened receptively, and he revealed more intimate details about the relationship difficulties, his feelings of guilt and remorse, sometimes getting to the point where he thought, —I want to die??_?? There wasn't much light surrounding us, but I could clearly see the pain expressed in his eyes. At one point, he directly asked: —What do you think? What should I do? Where should I go from here— As I say with all of my friends seeking advice: —You??re the one who ultimately has to make a decision, and I can't make any decisions for you. Just judging by the things you??ve told me??_?? (Cont'd)

He spoke of the strange merging of what his parents had instilled in him as a child, and his own personal perspective/orientation/etc. In a more intimate sense, he was beginning to think that he was meant to be alone, to not be in a relationship with anyone. He said that, at 30 years old, he felt like he still hadn't figured everything out, and perhaps the person he needed, relationship-wise, didn't exist anywhere. There is a type of person that he was seeking, and he felt it was nearly impossible to find anyone with the mindset, openness, and orientation that he sought.

I had bitten my tongue, so to speak. In our past conversations, I had realized something very important about myself, and was trying to find the right moment to say what I thought. At that point, I figured I should practice the openness and honesty that I preferred, so I turned my head away for a moment and said: —There's something I want to say, but I'm not sure if it's an appropriate time to say it.?? He leaned toward me, curious, and said quietly: —Oh? ??_ What is it— I looked at him and stated: —I think that I am actually one of the rare people that you were talking about.?? It took a moment for it to sink in. He reclined, uttered —Really— to which I said: —Yeah, I am. I am??_?? After some time, he said: —So??_ What are we going to do about this— I responded playfully, with a subtle smile: —I dunno. What *are* we going to do about this— He regained his composure and said, —Things should happen naturally. It's going to take some time.?? I agreed, and seconded the notion that there would be a need for pacing, no rushing or pushing things. He resolved to drive over to visit me on my rare days off during the extent of the summer job, and spoke of how we could indulge in our introvert ways by playing video games, watching movies, and generally —whatever you want to do?? in the near future. (Cont'd)

We continued talking for quite some time, and then we both decided that it was getting a bit too chilly. We walked back the way that we had come, and Mr. Leo continued to chat almost non-stop. He repeated the importance of being open and laying everything out on the table. His opinion was that everything should be communicated and understood as soon as possible, and I agreed with that idea, although we did have to admit that —too much, too soon?? could also be detrimental in certain situations. Mr. Leo mentioned that he had revealed —everything?? on the first date with his ex-girlfriend; —everything?? that he had revealed to me over the course of the night. In that sense, he half-joked, I was —in for it??. —Okay, tell me every one of your deepest, darkest secrets—NOW!?? —Ahh, no!?? —Haha, just kidding.??

The night ended on a good note. As we drove back to my neighborhood, we realized just how much time had passed since he picked me up earlier in the evening. We sang along to some progressive rock (genre of choice) tunes, talked about our favorite childhood movies, and made plans. I asked him, if he were available on the 16th, would he be interested in driving me to the suburbs for the first day of the training session. He thought out loud, decided that he would rearrange his schedule if necessary, and then confirmed that he would do it. I told him that I would jokingly berate him if he didn't call as he said he would (this is an ongoing pattern, and one which, apparently, is common lion folk behavior).

Whew... Well, I know I said that I wouldn't write a novella again, but there it is. Whoops! 😆 In seriousness, though: I'm maintaining a sense of cautious optimism in this situation. There are certain things which make me feel reasonably cautious. In typical Taurus fashion, I'm just taking things one step at a time... Trying not to analyze and over-analyze, but wanting to protect myself, nonetheless.

HonestGirlExpressions: Haha! I know, so long-winded, I do apologize. 😆 I copied everything from Word after taking time to mull it over in that program (I prefer to type longer responses in that program first; helps me concentrate). Agreed that taking it slow and "with a big grain of salt" is the best approach right now. I'm curious but cautious, nonetheless. There have been "cat-and-mouse" games before, which could be either fun or frustrating. :-p

It's interesting you should mention the idea of roaring and attempting to eat or bite my head off. Speculation led me to thoughts of the mythological significance of the two beasts, and it seems that every other image that I found through search was a lion attacking a bull. Something like this:

http://members.westnet.com.au/gary-david-thompson/lion-bull.jpg<BR>
Let's just say... (figuratively) any lion who takes a vicious leap at my flank is gonna get a swift kick in the face. :-p

Thanks for the warning, my fellow Tau. I think that the power and passion can be acted upon in a way that is mutually beneficial, or destructive. Depends on what we consciously decide to do about it...

Posted by totem
You're smart to remain cautious. He sounds like he's got some issues or baggage to resolve right now. Leo's make good friends. I miss all of my old Leo friends. Wah! All I have now is my gay Leo hairdresser. I need a new Leo! I can talk to Leos for hours and hours. It might have something to do with being a good listener. Maybe that's a Taurus thing?

Indeed. As a former (Saggi) co-worker once said: "That boy's got some emotional problems!" I'm willing to take certain risks, be his "rock" if necessary, and do what I can to empower him. Simultaneously, I have to consider my heart and my needs. We've been supportive of each other, despite our respective situations, and I'll help to keep the balance right.

On a lighter subject: yeaahh, they do make good friends. :-) I have three Leo sisters, and apparently a lot of my friends are lions as well. Good people with big hearts, worthy of admiration. Their antics irritate me at times, though! And yes, very easy to talk with them for hours. Could be a Taurus thing, could be due to other factors. You should definitely find yourself some nice new Leo friends! :-)

Posted by Jynja
Amjaro!

I'm glad I read this thread. It seems you're progressing well with your Leo, and that's really great. Your reports about him give hope about Leo men. 🙂

We can be pretty crazy, eh? It's like, we expect fairies to fill up our gas tank in the middle of the night or something. 😛 And it is true, I need to call a few people right this moment but... yeah. We tend to need lots of space, but being placed in the spotlight means we don't always get enough of it. So, we unconsciously scrape and scrap from things like making a phone call, texting, going to fill the gas tank and so on. 😢

But, I'm glad to see you're still going strong and have reached this crucial stage in your friendship.

Good luck, and I hope he calls and picks you up for your first day!

*Hugs*

I have to agree with Jynja on this, the petrol tank is permanently on empty 🙂, yes but space is needed as she says, there are so often times in the centre of things that even replying to a text, when I find I have 5 mins of solitude can be emotionally draining, I just can't do it. The phrase, please leave me alone, often can swim through my head at those times.

When I first met my lovely bull man I said the same to him, lets go slow and let it all develop naturally, very un taurus like his impatience rose to the fore and he stormed in for the kill, thankfully 🙂 You bulls have no patience when you have decided on something that you want 🙂 I wanted to go slow because I knew how fast I can go if allowed - I wanted him to help me go slow because this relationship was very important to me, maybe your lion is asking for this for the same reasons, which would be great for you two and at least shows that he is thinking of the future with you.

Posted by HonestGirlExpressions
yeah he might want to Bite u on Ur Booty.. Figuratively.. and Literally 😆 😆

Ooh, baby! 😆

---
On the subject of —maturity??: he has shown a lot of maturity and a strong sense of responsibility (taking on the role of caring for his elderly mother, for example). However, like a lot of lion people, he seems to be a kid at heart—a —grown-ass kid??, as one of my Leo sisters would put it. The tree climbing was spontaneous. As we walked toward the rear of the museum and passed a beautiful old oak tree, he mentioned that he loved climbing trees when he was a kid. —I loved it too,?? I said. —Why not try climbing that one now— Even though we were unsuccessful at climbing up, it was sweet to see his eyes light up when I suggested it. And besides, it's always fun to indulge my inner child. :-)

Wishing the best for you and your Leo man!

Posted by Grey
the bull is way stronger than the lion physically and can beat the crap out of the lion. yet lion can take down somebody much stronger than him. he can kill the bull despite the size advantage. we are not called king of beasts because we are the biggest or strongest but because of the big heart and courage.

that being said i like most taurus because it represents earth. fire needs "earth" to feed on and you have all the essential nutrients for my survival.

my main irritation with bulls is the overly masculine nature of taurus women and the stubborness. i don't always have the energy to argue so i tend to keep bulls at friendly distance form me.

I like your perspective, Gandalf--oops, I mean "Grey". :o) The lions certainly have big hearts, courage, and ferocity!

About the irritation with bulls: personally, I can attest to the —overly masculine?? nature of Taurus women, and the stubbornness—of course! These things are partly the reason why I don't always get along with Leos. Clash of personalities; power struggles; etc.

Posted by Jynja
Amjaro!

I'm glad I read this thread. It seems you're progressing well with your Leo, and that's really great. Your reports about him give hope about Leo men. 🙂

We can be pretty crazy, eh? It's like, we expect fairies to fill up our gas tank in the middle of the night or something. 😛 And it is true, I need to call a few people right this moment but... yeah. We tend to need lots of space, but being placed in the spotlight means we don't always get enough of it. So, we unconsciously scrape and scrap from things like making a phone call, texting, going to fill the gas tank and so on. 😢

But, I'm glad to see you're still going strong and have reached this crucial stage in your friendship.

Good luck, and I hope he calls and picks you up for your first day!

*Hugs*

Jynja!

Glad to read your reply. :-) I do hope that things will continue to progress well.

Yep! Y??all just like livin?? on the edge, doncha? :-p Funny that, when he mentioned the shortage of gas (and how we would —probably break down soon if I don't get to that station??), it reminded me of a previous topic that I read some months ago. I think that Seraph was the OP, speaking about the Leo??s need for a certain 'hunger' or a high-stakes situation.

After reading so many times that Leos are not keen on phone calls or texts (and hearing him express disdain firsthand), I was pretty well prepared for that aspect of his personality. Nonetheless, when he apologized in a previous conversation and I explained that, yes, it is irritating, he apologized again and said, —You have permission to yell at me [if I piss you off].?? We've established an understanding that I will figuratively roll up my sleeves and —let 'im have it??, if necessary. :-p

Thanks for the well wishes! ::Big hugs::

Posted by celticlioness

I have to agree with Jynja on this, ...

::Hugs:: for you too! :-)

Yeah, I definitely understand the need for space. During one part of our talk by the river, I mentioned that I am an introvert and need a lot of 'me time'. He piped up, —Me too!?? My percentage/ratio is about 60% / 40% (about 60% 'me' time, and 40% socializing time), and he said that his is more like 70% / 30% . Needless to say... we're both introverts, we both understand the need for 'space', 'breathing room', 'me time' and whatnot. I'm interested in bringing him on more gallivanting adventures in the future, and I would also be perfectly content with cozy evenings listening to favorite tunes, maybe playing —Halo??, lying around just talking about life, etc.

I've been a bit touch-and-go with Mr. Leo. Appearing on occasion to give him a gentle nudge with the horns, and then disappearing into the ether for a while. But, things are changing considerably... You're exactly right: when we want something (or someone), and we're very sure of how much we want something (or someone), we charge right in for the kill. —MINE!?? Perhaps sooner rather than later, I may be able to relate to the behavior of your lovely Mr. Bull. :-)

On the other hand ~

He stated some reservations and said that things should happen naturally, which is something that I can concur. His actions are expressing something otherwise, though; and, I surely expressed my brain's thoughts and said, —I agree, yeah, that's the way to go. Gotta take it one day at a time,?? gripping the arm rest with deadly force, all the while...

I can't be certain that his reasoning is due to him valuing the relationship and considering it something of great importance, but I do know that he's shared a lot with me, and very nearly put everything out on the table during this recent meeting, and this development between us is something not to be taken too lightly. He's earned my trust, and I finally showed vulnerability to him by opening up about my own life. Frankly, it's a bit frightening, and I'm starting to feel an unconscious compulsion to coldly disengage—not because of him or his —baggage?? (although I have some reservations about his current topsy-turvy-ness) but due to my own inner doubts.

I have to resist the urge to disengage, and have the courage to be resolute and say, —Soon enough, we shall see...?? :-)