drama

friends, i am reaching to you for help and for a nice word in my pain. please, don't judge me, nor blame me, because i have enough guilt in my heart. my story may be somehow trivial, but i just wanted to share with someone, because i am alone and miserable. i met someone (cancer) at the beginning of this year, and than since we have had a wonderful relationship - he's my dream, my flower, my bird. he is everything i dreamt about. sometimes he gets so moody, and hurts me so bad though that i feel like beaten. the next moment though he is back to his loveble nature and i get crazy again. we had that huge argument in march, when he was mean and coldhearted, and then since my drama started. see, i've met this other one (aquarius) through internet about an year ago, and we have been e-mailing back and forth for about an year, and without even seeing me on march 3, he made me a marriage proposal. he is my other half - my mirror, and i feel toward him the exact sam way as i feel toward the other guy. i was so severly heard from the argument with my cancer that i did accept. he came and met me here (we live 7,000 miles far from each other), brought me to the most romantic place, swore i am the one to make happy, gave me an engagement ring, went back to our country (i am a foreigner in the us), and started arranging our marriage. i shoul get married on august 24th. that's where it comes - i am so crazy about both guys - and they are both so commited, with plans for the future, with dreams for life together that by heart is broken on two pieces. i got sick, was not being able to go to work, nor school, not being able to eat, and i feel guilty about hearting any of them. my heart tells me that the aquarius is the right one, however, i am as much crazy for the other one. i am crying now. i was so confused that i contacted an astrologyst for advice. i was hoping to hear that my pain is going to be over, and that everything will somehow turn out fine. i am not going to mention his name, but his response was shocking. he told me that no metter what choice i make, i will be deceiving all three of us, because there is a rare exception in my chart, which shows i have found my two soulmates. he told me that at the end, no metter what choice i make, i will be alone and miserable, and will finish not picking any of them. he told me i am a b**** (not with this words) and deserve to struggle, and he is not here to comfort me. i was dead yesterday.. i have gotten to the point that everything seems sensless. i am not my usual easy-going me, i feel like a bitch, and my heart is flushed. i am turning to you, because i need a nice word and support. i will deal with everything, just want to know i am not a b**** for having hard time to choose, because at the end, i am the one who sruggles most. it's probably super trivial life issue, but it's a question of life and dead for me. please tell me i should not believe everything i hear from astrologysts and others, please tell me i will be ok.

thank you, all, please be with me

DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING!!! Perhaps he was a male (the astrologer) and he had been hurt by someone.

Try this: Picture yourself with the first guy and how you feel with him. Then picture yourself without him and how that would make you feel. Try this with both guys. Which one would hurt the most for you to be without. That should be your deciding factor.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Nothing is fair in love and war. The only hard part you have ahead of you is to let go of one of them. He'll recover.

yes, he was a male. thank you so much, i'll try, i already thought i don't even deserve a response from anyone. god bless you

You're doing it again, i.e., too hard on yourself. Relax, take a deep breath and try to focus on your inner feelings. Make a decision (which guy)and follow through. The sooner you get it over with the sooner you can begin to live! Enjoy life, you only get one.

I can feel how much pain that you are in. By being a human and given the gift of life, we ALL will experience hopefully, ALL emotions (feelings) while we are here LEARNING about ourselves. You are in the process of learning in the school of life. This process will not be over till you leave the planet. We all should be very thankful that we have the ability to FEEL. Do not be a robot, do not close yourself off to life. Embrace all that you are going through as it is taking you to where you need to be. You will become stronger if you allow yourself to participate in life. No one is worth dying for. This is just an observation here and I am in no postition to judge but, do you love yourself? Maybe this is what you need to work on if your answer is no. We cannot love anyone else completely till we learn how to love the most important person and that is, ourself. You are a precious person and a gift to all you come in contact with. Your life will change when you change your thoughts. This will take time and it really helps when we learn to appreciate the journey of discovering who we are and life. Hey, this is a one way trip...make the best of it. I wish you the best and my blessings are with you.

Great Advice! Whatever you do will be what you need to learn within, but that does not include beating yourself up. It does sound as though you could benefit from some alone time learning to love yourself.
I'll just bet that neither one of these guys are putting the energy that you are into trying to do the 'right thing'.
Good luck to you.

In life the trivial is the most important. Don't feel guilty for
having feelings for more than one person, we are all human and
aloud to have those feelings. I'm going to be straight with you,
pick one. Find the love that you are looking for and take it.
Love dwelles within all, and love is the key to life. Sometimes
to win we must lose, you're holding a key in each and hand,
you have to let go of one.

great advice above. sometimes to win we must let go of something. you're right. my sister once said, nature hates a vacumn so if you create a space in your life the universe will fill it for you. i wish i could take that advice!!!

forget all the dramatic crap above, just DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!
In the end, you will be serving no one if YOU are not at peace with yourself!
Maybe time out is the best policy, and if any of the two guys truly do love you, then they will give you time out until you sort out your head space.
Try investing in yourself for a change -i have not been in a relationship for the last 4 years and have now come to the stage where yes i am lonely, but i sure know who the hell i am. So that when the time comes to "get involved" (whi i do in a big way) i know i will make the right choice.
Trust yourself!!!

my dear friends, thank you for your support. i made my choice. god, be with me. probably in another life..

peace.

God is here with you now, this moment and forever...he/she resides within you.

I am not sure what you meant by your post but I hope you are still here with us.

Love is what will bring peace to the human soul.

I am a Libra female and had a 4 year relationship with a Cancer male. He drove me crazy with the ups and downs in the relationship. As soon as I felt connected to him, he'd do something to create space, usually with an argument of some sort. Then, I'd become angry/upset and withdraw, due to the pain he laid on me. Very negative energy he carried around with him. During my dark times, he'd come around as if he'd done nothing and expect to simply pick up where we left off. I grew to understand, once I got my feelings in check that he enjoyed the little cat and mouse game. I didn't, so I ended it. He was a crab and enjoyed always moving backward and sideways in the relationship. But the minute it looked like I was leaving him, he'd do anything to keep the relationship. Too many games for me. You might simply be experiencing the dreary crab's side effects. Negative energy begats negative energy. When I got rid of him, I felt so rejuvenated. Think about it. Be true always to you.