Is this normal Libran behavior?

So I have been dating this Libran on and off for a couple of years and my best friend is one as well. I'm quite confused at this point because they are starting exhibit the same traits in our respective relationships and it is starting to drive me away.

In the start of both relationships they we were inseparable, always interesting convo, and always an adventure. As time has passed and we've gotten closer they have become extremely closed off and reserved, yet they all but cling to me. It is as if they just have to be near me, however they rarely have anything to talk about or want to do anything. They zone out or escape into some story or fantasy world before they engage me.

I actually wish they would pull the old disappearing act because it drives me crazy. I've relegated the best friend to "call me if something's wrong or you need help" status, but of course the other is more complicated. I don't understand why they have to be near me only to be walled off and impersonable. It's like being in the company of cardboard cut-outs... or worse, Vulcans.

I am really contemplating ending this for good, just wanted to see if anyone else could make sense of it.

Whenever I state that I need more and that it's pushing away I get to watch this awkward battle to control emotion and hold back tears which actually makes me happy because I'm actually seeing task live emotion for a change, but I'd really intriguing and just can't make sense of it all.

Posted by tiziani
I think it's fairly common yes. Although I don't know about the clinging part. I enjoy people's company. I don't need to talk to them once we know each other relatively. If they want to go or be somewhere else, that's understandable. No problem. You should just do your own thing. Libras respect independence.

This is where I have the problem. I'm doing my own thing when I'm not with them. They will come to me and then sit there in their own world. I'm looking at it from the aspect where if you're going to request my time then you should make use of it. I would find it very inconsiderate to pull you from whatever you're doing to sit around being as distant and as hands off as possible. I see it as not only time being wasted, but it's boring. I get lost in my imagination and daydream on my own time. I don't understand how a relationship can be sustained that way. I have " my time" and the time I set aside for others. I've just always been under the impression that spending time together actually means doing something together. I'm more independent then the two of them combined, honestly.

But sometimes just being near a person we like is enough for a Libran..in fact I do it myself. I know that when im doing it, im on the brink of needing to say something but it doesnt/wont come up. I feel like there must be an underlying issue going on here, like a make or break conversation. You say you have been dating on and off, seems like the time has come to decide whether you're in or out, and cut the casual crap 🙂

Posted by Sola
But sometimes just being near a person we like is enough for a Libran..in fact I do it myself. I know that when im doing it, im on the brink of needing to say something but it doesnt/wont come up. I feel like there must be an underlying issue going on here, like a make or break conversation. You say you have been dating on and off, seems like the time has come to decide whether you're in or out, and cut the casual crap 🙂

We've been off a total of 5 months in a 3 year period. I feel the same way about there being some underlying issue. It is really starting to cause a disconnect on my end. They seem to be social butterflies with everyone else, but shutdown around me. I've actually had mutual friends come back and tell me all of these great things that have been said about me, which flatters me but I would have rather been told directly. It's as if they just shut down around me.

I knew that open communication with a Libra would be a challenge, but FUUUUUCK!!!! This literally drains me.

Im sure she doesn't even have an idea of how you feel..somebody has to be bold. It may as well be you!

Maybe he senses that you're growing distant. The only time I think i acted that way was at the end of my marriage. I knew things were falling apart. She was getting distant and I could tell was always looking for something to do. Now we were married and living together, so quiet downtime together not really doing anything is to be expected. At first that's all good, when you can't just be near someone and always have to do something, I see it as a bad sign.

Posted by notyourtype
Aries are generally much more extroverted and quick tempered than Libras, which I think lends to a lot of the frustration and miscommunication in this dynamic. We have very different style s of expression, so it's so easy for misunderstandings to occur.

Speaking for myself, I can be alone in a room with someone I like, where each of us are doing separate things and I'd be completely fine with that. Obviously, some interaction can/will take place, but there wouldn't be a constant pressure. I think it feels nice just being in their presence, but this can be misinterpreted as a sign of detachment or disinterest if you don't understand us. It can also be a sign of incompatibility. I know my Aries best friend needs constant interaction or she'll start feeling bored, impatient or neglected.

Another thing to consider is that air signs are usually not the best at handling emotions. So instead of confronting our feelings heads on, we'll instead choose to take it out in personal or romantic time by inflicting withdrawals. We like to go off into our own heads to re-balance ourselves.

So if the concept of "active togetherness" is important to you, and you want to be with a guy who is constantly out on the scene or always ready to talk and share, you might be setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations and disappointment.

I really should read before I post, what I said was already covered... and said better.

Posted by tiziani
Plus I get very uneasy around people who feel the need to talk all the time. I get the impression I am making them uncomfortable or restless.

I feel the same way. My alarms bells turn on if they keep talking all the time or us always having to do something when we're together. It makes me feel like they can't just be comfortable with me around.

I'm like that too, I just love being around my SO without talking much. Sometimes I just wanna cuddle or watch what he's doing or I do my own thing while he's around. There's comfort in knowing you can be around that person and be completely yourself without them demanding your attention too much.

Thanks you all for the insight. You usually when I brought it up I wouldn't get an answer, maybe an "I don't know" or and "I can't complain". Ironically it came up again this evening and the answer was, "sometimes I just want to be near you".



Now, to work on the compromise................ sigh