Lib male with a lot of Scorp placements. Warnings?

So, the guy I'm seeing at the moment — and am pretty smitten with — is a Libra in his early 20s (or a Libra/Scorpio cusp, for those who believe in cusps). He also has his Mercury, Venus and Pluto in Scorpio. He seems to be pretty into me, but I can't really be sure, I find it impossible to read him, whereas he has the uncanny ability of almost always guessing what I'm thinking. We've already slept together and we both want more of it, and we have gone on a few dates, so everything??s fine so far. Reason I'm posting here, though, is because I'm beginning to lose my head about him, and I??d like a few pointers as to what I might encounter further along the road. More specifically, is there anything I should avoid doing at all cost, lest I scare him away? Or anything that might indicate future issues with possessiveness or jealousy in him (which are both big NO-NOs for me)? Even more specifically, what would be the best way to keep him interested and keep the relationship hot? 🙂
I just like this guy so much, I am willing to set aside my Aries pride and take any advice that comes my way.

P.S. He hardly ever smiles, but he's already had me hooked with that intense Scorpio gaze... which, somehow, makes it impossible for ME to stop smiling. And he's asked me more than once why I keep smiling so much, but I just can't help it...

This is exactly what my ex had in those specific placements and he's a cusper. But he also had a shit ton of Libra in several other placements as well.

It was hot and heavy at first, but 3 or so months in, cue the typical Libran slamming on the brakes maneuver that they do and he turned into an entirely different person. This is why he's an "ex" now.

I dunno what to tell you as far as keeping it "hot and heavy" but I do suggest slowing things down and keeping an eye out for telltale signs. These guys can be so flighty and will turn at the drop of a hat, leaving you dazed and confused. Just enjoy it for what it is and if it continues long term, hooray. Just keep doing what you're doing right now if it's working.

The thing with Libras and Aries is that when it's good, it's great, but when it's bad, it's freaking ridiculous. :/

I wish I could give better pointers as to what would help keep things going, but with my ex, I thought we were doing pretty good, he gave no indicators at first, but then he flipped a bitch and when he broke up with me, I never got a real answer from him as to what the real issue was. To this day, I still haven't been able to pinpoint wtf happened. Damned passivity.

Also, how old are you?

I'd be extra wary if he's in his early 20s. Guys are generally a pain in the ass at that age.

There is a cusp forum on DXPnet that you could also ask on. By now you should be able to tell by his personality if he is more Libra than Scorp. The personality differences between the two is like night and day ! As to the anything to avoid question ,my answer would be try not to stir up too many petty arguments , and be confident .Bot Scorp and Libra men like confident women , if you are too wishy-washy he will become less interested.

Posted by libragemmale
By now you should be able to tell by his personality if he is more Libra than Scorp. The personality differences between the two is like night and day ! As to the anything to avoid question ,my answer would be try not to stir up too many petty arguments , and be confident .Bot Scorp and Libra men like confident women , if you are too wishy-washy he will become less interested.

This.

What I find funny about the ex was that while we were together, he was totally Libra side of things. But post break up, I've noticed he acts a tad bit like a Scorpio. It's been kinda interesting in regard to the whole cusp thing.

Posted by rockyroadicecream


It was hot and heavy at first, but 3 or so months in, cue the typical Libran slamming on the brakes maneuver that they do and he turned into an entirely different person. This is why he's an "ex" now.

Thank you for the feedback 🙂 I guess we're still in the hot and heavy stage, as we only became a couple two weeks ago (unofficially!). And I've been reading on the Libran maneuvers, disappearing acts and indecisiveness and all... so I'm TRYING to tread carefully. Easier said than done, though. I do pretty well when we're apart, but as soon as we get together, things just get so intense between us... it's scary! Literally! And I can't help wondering whether he's actually just mirroring MY own Aries intensity...

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I do suggest slowing things down and keeping an eye out for telltale signs. These guys can be so flighty and will turn at the drop of a hat, leaving you dazed and confused. Just enjoy it for what it is and if it continues long term, hooray. Just keep doing what you're doing right now if it's working.

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I actually did suggest slowing things down, but, somehow, it never gets past the "suggestion" stage. He's early 20 AND I'm his first girlfriend (although, thankfully, not his first sex partner) and he just seems ... insatiable. I'm guessing that's a Scorpio thing? Or just a guy thing, lol? Just like the flightiness... He's already - in the space of two weeks! - tested me to see how I would react if he suggested breaking up OR sleeping with someone else, and I've gone from ignoring him (I read it as a childish attempt at making me jealous) to telling him he's free to go, but not to come back to me, as I definitely have other options (which is true, too, I wouldn't dream of trying to lie to him, he just reads me so clearly!).

I guess what I'm worried about is whether HE might turn jealous or possessive on me. As in, whether the Scorpio in his chart tends to do that. Also, I already know acting needy or insecure might be a turn off for him... unless Scorpios WANT their partners weak and dependent? And, at the moment, I'm fighting hard not to develop feelings for him, but it's an uphill battle, so I'm wondering, will he run screaming if it does happen and he becomes aware of it? ...

Posted by rebecca83

Thank you for the feedback 🙂 I guess we're still in the hot and heavy stage, as we only became a couple two weeks ago (unofficially!).

What do you mean unofficially? Either you are or you aren't. Have you two discussed this or are you just concluding that you two are together?

I do pretty well when we're apart, but as soon as we get together, things just get so intense between us... it's scary! Literally!

Yeah, that's one of the kickers between Aries and Libras. It can be pretty intense.

I actually did suggest slowing things down, but, somehow, it never gets past the "suggestion" stage. He's early 20 AND I'm his first girlfriend (although, thankfully, not his first sex partner) and he just seems ... insatiable. I'm guessing that's a Scorpio thing?

This is a young guy thing. Especially the first girlfriend thing. Just be careful because this rushing in, "thinking he knows what he wants" type of move is typical Libra.

He's already - in the space of two weeks! - tested me to see how I would react if he suggested breaking up OR sleeping with someone else, and I've gone from ignoring him (I read it as a childish attempt at making me jealous) to telling him he's free to go, but not to come back to me, as I definitely have other options (which is true, too, I wouldn't dream of trying to lie to him, he just reads me so clearly!).

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This is immaturity and a Scorp thing. This is sort of a red flag right here. Not a major one, but pay attention to this. You two haven't been doing this long and he's already doing immature thing like stupid games to see what you'll do. This could become an issue later. You making those comments also has planted little seeds of insecurity for him. I wouldn't be surprised if later on he whipped that tidbit of info out and used it against you. YOU really need to watch how you behave and what you say. That's just setting it up for disaster. Because you said that, you have set him up to become jealous and possessive. You have other interests out there? Oh how convenient. Now he'll be concerned that you'll drop him and any guy you look at funny will cause instant jealousy and accusations of cheating will be flung around.

Overall, don't necessarily fight feelings, but just pay attention to what's going on. I'm already seeing potential issues from what you've told me.

However, if he does continue the childish bs of playing games and saying things to get a reaction out of you, I would highly consider dropping it. It's clear that his insecurities are a tad overkill and he's not sure how to handle this since it's his first relationship, but there are just things you do and don't do. Guys (and girls) in their early 20s are a freaking mess to deal with in the relationship department. They play games, are still trying to figure themselves out, and tend to be perpetual drama at that age.

What you decide to do for the long run is up to you.

With my ex, I was a little wary because of age, but went with it because I could see something coming of it. Everything was fine and dandy, but that immaturity reared its ugly head. When I wouldn't tolerate it, he started that retreat phase. Looking back, I wouldn't be surprised if that created a catalyst for his insecurity to go awol and it just blew up from there. Mostly because all those stupid, insecure comments started about how I didn't like this or that, blah blah (which wasn't true). At the time, I thought it was just really strange he was saying such stupid things. Now? If I heard a guy say such ridiculous things, I'd really be turned off or just call him out on that bullshit. It's a very, very immature way to handle things and unfortunately, guys in that age group just do that type of crap. It's ridiculous and a waste of time if you're older and not looking for that junk in dating.

What do you mean unofficially?

He calls me his girlfriend. He told his parents about me, calling me his girlfriend. He spent the night with me, more than once, with his family's knowledge. He's introduced me to a cousin of his as his girlfriend. He's met my best friend. He initiates dates - always - and we spend most of our free time together. He makes plans for us, some of them long-term. So, even though we haven't had the talk, yes, I believe we're a couple (or maybe this is just Libra getting ahead of himself?).

It can be pretty intense.

It's also pretty confusing. When we're apart and just talking over phone or online, I don't have any particularly tender feelings towards him. Then when we're physically together I just lose myself in his stare, become fascinated with his voice, crave his touch... And then I get annoyed at myself, again, for feeling all that 😛

this rushing in, "thinking he knows what he wants" type of move is typical Libra.

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I'm pretty sure he's no idea what he wants in a girl or in a relationship. Which, I was hoping, might work for me, as I get the chance to sort of teach him what he should want? Or is that a rather impossible mission? So far he's been very... submissive, in that he'll go with whatever I want. But I suspect that might be his people-pleasing side of Libra. On the dark side of my being his first girlfriend, he completely lacks dating manners and, since he seems to do so well at learning as he goes, I'm wary about pointing out what he does wrong, lest I hurt his ego and plant seeds of insecurity, like you said...

Anyway, I greatly appreciate the feedback, it's always valuable learning from those who've already been there 🙂 Going forward, I plan on taking a break from seeing him, a few days, maybe, to sort myself out a bit. And maybe see how he reacts?...

Posted by libragemmale
As to the anything to avoid question ,my answer would be try not to stir up too many petty arguments , and be confident .Bot Scorp and Libra men like confident women , if you are too wishy-washy he will become less interested.

Thank you. I'm guessing that the thing with avoiding petty arguments is pretty spot-on, he really seems to hate any sort of confrontation. However, all is not milk and honey between us. I'm trying to cut him some slack, given that he completely lacks experience with women and I'm not keen on handing him an "owner's manual", lol. But when the things he does "wrong" truly annoy me or hurt my feelings, or when he's playing stupid, immature games, I do let him know it upsets me and he does his best to change his behavior. So there have been no arguments so far.
As for the confidence thing... he did tell me he liked that I had a life of my own and seemed pretty independent. And he's never complained when I turned down his invitations because I had already made other plans. But I find it hard to make other plans when I know there's a high chance he'll want to see me. That's a tendency I'm fighting hard...
I'm not sure what wishy-washy means. I've looked it up in the dictionary, but I'm still not clear. The guy is deliberately cultivating attachment in me and I would find it impossible to hide it from him, so I'm not even trying. Sometimes he reads my mind so accurately it scares me. So he has a pretty strong idea of my feelings for him. Will it seem like I'm game playing if I turn him down to do my other things, even though I'd rather be with him? Or is it rather something he might respect in me, seeing that I can keep myself in check?...

Posted by rebecca83

I'm pretty sure he's no idea what he wants in a girl or in a relationship. Which, I was hoping, might work for me, as I get the chance to sort of teach him what he should want? Or is that a rather impossible mission? So far he's been very... submissive, in that he'll go with whatever I want. But I suspect that might be his people-pleasing side of Libra. On the dark side of my being his first girlfriend, he completely lacks dating manners and, since he seems to do so well at learning as he goes, I'm wary about pointing out what he does wrong, lest I hurt his ego and plant seeds of insecurity, like you said...

Anyway, I greatly appreciate the feedback, it's always valuable learning from those who've already been there 🙂 Going forward, I plan on taking a break from seeing him, a few days, maybe, to sort myself out a bit. And maybe see how he reacts?...

Teach him? It's a relationship, not a project. Please don't view it that way.

The only time you should point anything out if it's something you aren't too pleased with or something you just are not okay with.

Also, if you dislike him playing games, then why are you doing the same thing? You want to take a few days away to regroup, fine. But don't sit there and say it's because you also want to see how he reacts. Keep yourself in check and be the mature one, here.

Also, if you dislike him playing games, then why are you doing the same thing?

I don't MEAN to be playing games. I meant taking some time off so we can BOTH sort out our feelings, whatever they are. So HE can decide whether this is what he actually wants or he's just going along with whatever it is that I want...

I'm happy and scared because I know myself well enough: I don't just "fall" in love overnight, I'm pretty good at keeping my feelings in check and staying cool... but... once I do fall, I simply CRASH 🙂 So this is not about playing games. This is about me facing a situation I haven't been in for almost 10 years now, with a man who is hugely different from the kind of guys I'd been used to... And I'm trying so hard to be cautious about it!
But it's not working 😛 We spoke yesterday and ended up getting together again. So much for taking a break, neh? At the moment, I still have a choice. Either fight it - knowing full well that I'm only delaying the end result - or completely abandon myself to it and enjoy it while it lasts.
I'm scared. But I am grateful there's a place for me to express this fear and try to deal with it. Initially, I'd been asking for warnings and red flags. Perhaps it's time for me to change my perspective and start enjoying whatever it is that this relationship has to offer? 🙂