My love... how to approach you?

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Scandie
@Scandie
18 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 3
When you approach me (again and again)?? How honest can I be? I'm holding my cards close to my chest because of EVERYTHING. And yet, we both know after so many years exactly what that makes eachother tick/what we both are made of... but still, I AM afraid, very afraid to approach you and open up for the great communication we have between us. I long for to open up like I did before, but I can't... I'm so afraid just like he was in the beginning... we both "not so happily" married. For time beeing (maybe for always) we just live in each others minds with fantastic memories, deep respect and forever with a smile on lips/face just by thinking...

He's back on text again and just tried to call me after 6 months of silence because I wanted silence, forever... very clean, and nice/positive explained "breaking ALL contact" now and always, I will not be in touch ANYMORE. His answer on text (couldn't/wouldn't argue on me); "YOU will NEVER walk alone". We/I made a decicion when I got married last year (complicated and long story... you can read/find it on the board back in time. Both wants/try to be nobel and do what is the right thing for our spouses and children). The tragic/sadest thing is that I'm not beeing honest, not for a moment... I love him. I want to FIND things out, but I'm coward, just like he was in the beginning when his kids was smaller. We live in different cities and havent spoken to eachother for some years now. I gradually backed out. I have so much to say to him and we both have EVERYTHING in the world to discuss and sort out of.

His text today when I didn't answer my phone; "how are you? Don't be mad. Can we just have a talk?" Never showed to him when/that I have been mad at him (to much respect between us).

Not answered his text yet... I can let this go now if I will... I have the strength to do so after all of these years, and just keep him in my heart. BUT am I doing THE BIGGEST mistake of my life? Both have had only 1 relationship each; our spouses we met VERY early. I Don't know what to SAY to him... but it's now or never I think regarding seeing him again/knowing. I'm SCARED but maybe he thinks I have this more under controle than he has(?) Anyway, I ALWAYS had this feeling that we WILL meet again ONE day with or without destiny:-) What do I do— Stopped discussing this matter with girlfriends when I had my 1 child, have 1 girl and 1 boy. Feedback pls. Sorry for a little bad english typing - another country.


Scorpion L