Okay... I'm almost desperate...

I've been reading posts here and now I'm writing one b/c I feel almost desperate.
I'll just cut to the chase since time is already running out.
I met this guy at work, and we've known each other for about 2~3 months before we started dating.
As far as I'm concerned, this guy is everything that a typical Libra man is said to be.
Very charming, cute, sexy, caring, warm, etc. all that good stuff, and also, some of the bad
stuff like being indecisive(very unclear sometimes) and immature sometimes.
I think it's good that we were friends first b/c we got to appreciate each other's company.
So... I already slept with him, and this is killing me, too, b/c I can't stop thinking that maybe we
did it too soon. But then I thought, well, how soon is too soon anyway? He didn't change after 'all'
was done, he was still sweet to me. I don't work with him everyday anymore, I only go twice a week.
We spent two weekends together. Last time we did, I decided to ask him the question that I've been
dying to. I didn't want to sound like a clingy girl, and I haven't been like that at all with him, we
kept everything 'cool.' So we were talking:

Me: So, I need to know something before we go any further."
Libra: What do you mean?
Me: Oh, come on... you know what I mean.
(he smiles but doesn't say anything)
Me: I need to know that you're not going to be messing around with anyone else.
This is a big deal for me, you know, b/c I'm not 'down' with the whole 'friends with benefits' thing.
Libra: Oh, no! Of course not. I haven't been!
Me: Okay...
(and before I could say anything after that, he adds,)
Libra: I'm not looking for anything serious though.
(okay, at this point, I honestly don't know what to say so I just decided to play 'cool')
Me: Oh, ummm, that's good, that's okay.

We just smiled at each other and went on having fun, just hanging out.
Now I'm more confused b/c now he agreed on not seeing anyone else, but tells me he's not looking for
anything serious. I'm not looking for anything serious either, but when a guy says that, that usually
means he just wants to 'play.' There could be other reasons, I wouldn't know, but that's what it looks
like on the surface. I like him a lot, and I can see that he feels the same way. Did I scare him away?
Or does he just want to be 'friends' with me even after telling me that I'm the only one he's seeing?

I know... I'm really confused...
I did say that I don't want anything serious either but I'm open.
A friend asked me if I wanted a relationship with him, and I thought about it
and came to a conclusion that I would actually like to try if he's willing.
But obviously he's not... but I want to be with him.
I'm also wondering if it's the 'age difference.'
He's 5 years younger but we look about the same age. I look very young. Haha.
Everything we do together or how we are when we're together is really not that much
different from any 'couples.' That's why I'm confused. I should have asked what he meant when
he said it but I honestly didn't know how to react to that. I was actually expecting him to
clear things up for me but I'm more confused now.
And now I feel like I can't talk about this again anytime soon b/c then he'll think that I'm
pressuring him. Help... this is soooo frustrating!!! 😢

that sounds exactly like the conversation I had with my FWB the other day accpet I am a Libra woman. I dont want to play around but I also dont want anything serious. I just want one person to hang out with and sleep with who isnt sleeping with anybody else, but I dont want that person to be slowly moving there stuff into my house if you get what i mean or be introducing me to there parents!

When a libra man says he doesn't want anything serious, believe him. He doesnt want the responsibility of a full blown relationship. Know what you want and dont settle for anything less. Women most of the time is not good with FWB thing, men ofcourse have no problem with it.

Posted by cancersunleomoon123
bleh,people are so confusing aren't they?

I know right...I mean shit or get off the pot.

"Women most of the time is not good with FWB thing, men ofcourse have no problem with it." Spot on,in the words of destiny's child I WAS COOL WITH NO COMMITMENT,LET ME TAKE THAT BACK,IT WAS YOU SO I WAS WILLING.
The lyrics is from the song Through With Love.

i used to know a libra guy who was in a "nothing serious" relationship with a virgo girl, whom he shared an apartment with and basically any and all responsibilities (bills, a car, who cooked, housework, etc). they spent all their time together. and when it ended, she ended it, because he'd gotten too lazy to put up with anymore and had become a hermit. apparently, he's still in hermit mode.

libras are always not looking for anything serious, even when we are looking for something serious. we're afraid of feeling trapped, of losing our independence. we can be trapped, but it's okay, as long as we don't FEEL trapped. and we're also usually afraid that a good dynamic will change into a bad one (cool girl becomes bitchy, demanding girl).

in general, you can basically get him to go along with just about anything, as long as you just "assume the sale".

but you can't get a serious relationship out of him. because that involves agreements.

i say, give it a few months. see if you really need it to be serious. see if he gets more comfortable with boyfriend-y stuff. don't play games. once you've each had plenty of time to get to know each other (you are still in the getting to know each other period, anyways), consider telling him that you want something serious, if you do want it. you have to be willing to walk away. you might get hurt. it's up to you whether you feel like risking it.

but no, having sex with him had NOTHING to do with whatever else is going on between you. libras don't usually have that view of sex. we don't really do shame.

Thank you guys for the comments... I've been thinking so hard all day today my head hurts.
I went to work today and saw him, I just got my hair straightened yesterday. My Libra's been
saying that he wants to see my hair straightened many times before. When I went in this morning, he
had the biggest smile when he saw me with the new hair style . He didn't stop giving me compliments
all day, in front of everyone(remember, nobody knows we're 'dating' at the office).
We didn't talk much at work today but he was sweet to me. And uh... apparently, this dude who works
with my Libra, they sit next to each other, has a crush on me. All along I thought we were just playing.
But when we were joking around today, he said, "So, dinner at my place this Sunday?" and then we just
all laughed and I took it as a joke. Later, I went outside to have a cig break, and ran into this dude,
and we just went for a walk. We ran into my Libra on the way, didn't think much, but when I got back, he
messaged me online and said something like oh you and him look cute or whatever and I was like "REALLY?
REALLY. Come on" and he just laughed. We got off work and I walked with him for a bit, and he said that
that dude was actually serious about taking me to dinner, and he was just probably trying to be subtle.
He also asked me (in a joking way) if I was secretly dating this other guy at the office. I said, "I'm
secretly dating YOU" and he said that that it sounds like I'm ALSO secretly dating that other dude. I don't know why
he's asking me these questions when he's not even being really straight with me. I heard he talked about his
ex-girlfriend the other day, and referred to her as 'my girlfriend,' and when people asked him if he had a
girlfriend, he said "Oh, I mean, my ex-girlfriend." Oh, this ex-gf is special... turns out they were like
high school sweethearts and they went through a lot together. I wonder if he still has anything going on with her.
Anyway... I can't stop thinking about this. He said I'm going to be the only one he sees, but he's not looking for
anything serious. Good Lord... why can't he just be a man and step up this game or be straight with me?
I can't even sleep these days... this is torture.