Reaction to distance

Libra showed up last week at my work, stayed for 2 hours, and we had a nice time..anyways I needed to ask him something regarding business so I emailed him and asked him to call me, he returned my call the next day and told me to call him at home that night, but i missed it..So i emailed him back and told him I had to work that night, so could he email me back and let me know when would be a good time to call him on saturday..I also said that i had Saturday night off and if he wasn't busy maybe he could meet me for a bite to eat..Left it at that, said if he can't do dinner, let me know when it would be convenient to call him..This was on Friday...

So i get no email from him, no phone call..Tried to call him on Saturday, no answer..His typical behaviour..Figured if something happened over the weekend he would call me on Monday..Nothing..

So today I sent him an email which said...Distance is not what I want in my life..I do not take men seriously, in a relationship or a FRIENDSHIP, who ignore me, contact me when it is conveinent for them, and then distance themselves again and again..

Never thought I would hear from him again, and I am fully prepared to give up on friendship..I don't deserve his shitty behaviour..

He emailed me back tonight and said "A friend might have asked what happened to you this weekend? Instead of jumping down their throat..

Is he just trying to make me feel bad?? I mean anyone with half a brain would understand that this would be a natural reaction when U have repeatedly distanced yourself and ignored someone over and over again...

I did react but with the full intention of letting this go, for good, I will not tolerate that type of behaviour any longer..

I understand his point but now i don't know how to reply or if I should even bother..Any advice..

LHL....

Distancing is something Libras are famous for...it is part of who they are. Like you, I am a fire sign, and it took a while for it to sink in that if you are going to be friends with them (Libras) that you either get used to the fact, or you make the choice that it isn't worth it.

They tend to be "air heads" LOL...sometimes they can't remember what they promised to do 5 min. after they say they will do it. By the same token, you must choose your words and actions carefully when getting your point across, as they are very cerebral.

I can see his point when he said "A friend might have asked what happened to you this weekend? Instead of jumping down their throat.."

You may not have meant it that way, but that is the way it came across and Air signs do like truthfulness but with a "gentle hand" when it comes to dealing with them. I've learned from experience that "Fire" tactics and reactions are not conducive for friendships with Air signs and compromises need to be made on both sides if the friendship is to survive.

If you feel that the distancing is not for you, then any efforts to deal with his behaviour will be futile and he is not someone you can be friends with.

lighthearted-leo, don't really know what to say Libras buffel me. I get along great with almost every sign but Libras and Virgos.I just don't get them.Even gems I can handle and keep my cool.But it seems that we(Libra and Leo)just naturally seem to piss eachother off or rub eachother up the wrong way.

like browneyedgirl said it is just one of those things. either live with it(accept this about your libra) or let it go.

Sounds like he doesn't know how to approach you - typical air sign - they don't want to appear needy or emotional - cool and aloof.

Sounds like you don't like being ignored, typical fire sign.

Possible response: "A friend might have let a friend know if they had issues this weekend?" hence approaching his logic with his logic and your directness but with a gentle touch. Yes the logic can be manipulative but logic is how Air and Fire (minus the ego) function best.

That way he knows to come to you with a prob in future, even if not to talk about issues but not to completely ignore you.

Compromise time 🙂 Browneyedgirl couldn't have put it better.

Personally I think he is full of shit..I do think he was ignoring me, i can feel the switch in him when i'm around him from joking and having fun to scared and distance..He did it the other day when he was here after giving me a hug..

I think that he is still attracted to me, even though he told me I am like a little sister that he never had..Why can't he be upfront and just say what it like it is ?? Instead of ignoring me all the time..

I stopped staying at his house and stopped having sex with him a long time ago..And I started dating...Is this not enough for him to prove that I have moved on, so we can continue a friendship ?? I sometimes wonder if he ignores me because he thinks that I want more from him..

Leo kitten

Can U not be friends with someone after being intimate and not having it work out?? Just because it didn't work out in a relationship does not mean a friendship will not work..I still care about him as a person..And we are connected through business, so there will always be some contact..

But i do agree with U that he did disrespect me in a relationship..That is why I stopped going to his house and being intimate with him..He led me to believe that we were dating but changed his mind..He is not ready to be in a relationship or maybe just not with me..I am past this..We would never work out in a relationship, I can now see that..He is seriously scarred from previous relationship, and I am not willing to pay for someone else'e mistakes..

And perhaps your right, maybe he is still going to disrespect me in a friendship, i would hope not, but it is certainly appearing that way..Not sure if he is manipulating me with the above situation..But my gut feeling is telling me that he is..

Time will tell..If he chooses to be the same way in a friendship after all this time has past, then I will have to accept that it will not change and let it go for good..

I hate losing my friends..Already had to cut one of friends out of my life a few weeks ago
because I could not tolerate her lying anymore..

But thank You Leo-kitten, your bluntness always makes me think more...

i hope those you do call your "frends" treat you better than this.

"I think that he is still attracted to me, even though he told me I am like a little sister that he never had..Why can't he be upfront and just say what it like it is ?? Instead of ignoring me all the time.."

I don't think this person is still attracted to you. I think he can sense that you still have feelings for him (even though you say you don't, I can sense it through your language). Ashleysagstar is right, too. Friends do not need to ask permission and find out when it is okay to call. They just call. They leave a message and don't worry about when it is returned. Even my best GIRLFRIENDS don't always respond.

And being a libra, this is not a mind-game he is playing with you. The distance isn't there to mess with you, it is honest-to-god, sincere distance. Like...he had something going on than to talk to you this weekend. At least, that's what happens with me when I don't pick up the phone.

Also, sometimes, I just HATE the sound of it ringing and want to be left alone, no matter how much I care about the person on the other end. And personally, I don't see why that's so weird or baffeling.

i don't like phones at all. that is why i keep mine off. a ringing phone is an alarm. i prefer txt and emails bc i get time to think about what i am going to say. if it is someone i am smitten with then i respond right away. if it is someone who has run hot and cold on me, i will take my time. not because i am playing games but bc i don't know how to respond. i like consistency from others, this makes me feel comfortable with them. inconsistent behavior throws me off and makes me want to hide.

Not whacked..Leo kitten..Unfortunately I try to see the best in everyone, and it took me 2 years of my girlfriend lying before I cut her out of my life..

And I don't not see a problem with being frinds after a relationship, I have one ex-boyfriend and I am friends with him and his girlfriend..

But it is obvious that me and Libra have issues that we will not be able to overcome to maintain a friendship...

((But it is obvious that me and Libra have issues that we will not be able to overcome to maintain a friendship...))

lighthearted-leo, You really need to let this go. I use to be like this with my Libra and all it brought me was grieve and heartache. Yes, even now I would like for us to be friends but for my own sanity I stay away. You really need to have a sermon and bury your libra and the friendship that you crave to have with him. Sometimes it is just better to make a clean break let things go.

You say that you are not into him. But when I read your threads I get that you are still into him.You talk about stuff that happended between the two of you like it was yesterday.

My friends, actually quiet a few people have told me that I am naive and that not everyone is as good and as kind as I am. I also always want to believe in the goodness in people.

amen....Leos hang on til the end - THAT is the problem hahaha.

Its funny how much of myself I see from 2 years ago in some of these posts. We live and we learn 🙂

Its called experience hehehe