Second time around, with Libra male

Hi everyone,

Long time lurker, first time posting.

I'm Gemini sun/Scorpio moon (feel my pain) and had dated a Libra sun/ Sagittarius moon quite a number of years ago. While it was a brief relationship, we had a great time together with the relationship ending just due to both of us being young and pretty much immature.

Fast forward to summer of last year where we reconnected on facebook. Started out slow and sporadic, picked up steam and then we finally got together in December. Wow, it was like no time had passed at all. SO much better than the first time. He was all over my shit, non-stop texting, calls etc. My moon tends to make me hold back on my feelings until I know they'll be safe when I show them. I didn't hold back for as long as I usually do but it seemed once I started to let them out he started pulling back. I'll call you only to get no calls, used to text me every morning to no texts until I texted him. Finally, early January he seemed to have totally retreated, I called him intending to ask what was going on, didn't answer and no call back. I texted him, he replied, I kinda asked through text what was going on, a few back and forth texts and then nothing from him. Days turned to weeks, I left it alone, only texting him once on the day I knew he was going for a tattoo. No reply.

Valentines day not only does he post on my wall (which drives me nuts when REAL friends communicate with me via facebook, and he knows that) but then messages my closest friend asking her what's going on with me. His post to me was "Happy Valentines day you, you're not mad, right" I was caught off guard, only responding to his message last night pretty much saying not angry but annoyed and irritated and that I was more concerned that something had happened since him disappearing was not normal behavior for him and then asked how he was doing. He replied back first thing this morning quite playfully, telling me a few things that was going on and then ended it playfully.

I've yet to respond. I'm stumped.

So, if you've made it this far, I guess I'm asking for some thoughts on this and/or what someone else would do at this point.

The fact that he asks if you're angry hints to us that he knows he did wrong. Don't lie. If you feel angry say so. He has been very rude by not replying. I'm not saying get upset, just be honest about your feelings. At the present point you find yourself at, if it was me, I was expect him to make a significant effort to re-engage with you. Texts and post are not enough. That's a lazy way to keep you on hold. Don't stay on hold. You are not in a relationship with him. You are free to date other guys and have fun going out with friends. If he wants more than friendship he better start acting like a boyfriend. Otherwise he's just a friend - don't let it become friends with benefits.

I really wasn't angry, I'm in total agreement with you that he was rude. That being said, and at the risk of sounding like I'm excusing what he did, I truly was concerned with him disappearing as that's just not him and I know he's had a lot going on. Another reason that I think quelled my anger is that, this time around, we weren't yet fully intimate with each other. That's another thing that's making him reaching out again now more confusing to me. If we had slept together then I would probably dismiss his post and message as nothing but a "I'm horny and have nothing else going on" and not even had replied to him.

"I would expect him to make a significant effort to re-engage with you. Texts and post are not enough"

Agree with you 100 percent and yet that's another stumper for me as I want to reply to him, and like you said he knows he did wrong and him messaging me on facebook is probably his way of feeling me out to see where I'm at. *sigh* I'm at the point where I would love to pick up with him again but I'm, and rightly so, a little gun shy now as I don't want in a couple of months to be put on a shelf again.

Posted by LibraRose
The fact that he asks if you're angry hints to us that he knows he did wrong. Don't lie. If you feel angry say so. He has been very rude by not replying. I'm not saying get upset, just be honest about your feelings. At the present point you find yourself at, if it was me, I was expect him to make a significant effort to re-engage with you. Texts and post are not enough. That's a lazy way to keep you on hold. Don't stay on hold. You are not in a relationship with him. You are free to date other guys and have fun going out with friends. If he wants more than friendship he better start acting like a boyfriend. Otherwise he's just a friend - don't let it become friends with benefits.

if he really wants to be with you, he will make a better effort than this. and she is right, he is just a friend right now. with libras the in your face, direct approach has been their way, when they want to be romantically involved with someone. he has determined you are single, available, and show an interest in him already through text and post..its time for him to step it up.

I agree with the opinions and advice of Librarose and chem . I don't know him at all but you just described a player ..

I'm going through the same thing with this Libra guy. After three weeks no contacts so I just moved on but I can't stop thinking what I did wrong?

Posted by doubleleo
I'm going through the same thing with this Libra guy. After three weeks no contacts so I just moved on but I can't stop thinking what I did wrong?

I, too, briefly wondered if I did anything wrong. I know I didn't and even if I did and he couldn't find the time to talk to me about it then he's not worth it. I wouldn't spend too much time blaming yourself.

Thanks to all of your replies and thoughts. I replied to him in a kinda jokey, yet neutral, manner and he responded very quickly, once again catching me off guard.

I agree with all of you who are telling me he needs to step it up. If and when he decides to actually pick up the phone and call me only then will I even consider moving forward with him. He's in my heart but no longer in my head.