Why do you guys do that?

Why do you have to elicit fear and emotional stress to gain reassurance?

I asked him 6 years ago if he was playing with my emotions and he said, —no games.??

yes, no games but that doesn't answer the question. You??ve made a decision, that's good but after 6 years why do you have to test my emotional response to confirm you??re on the correct path?

Why does my pain and tears soothe your fears? And then you make yourself the only one that can calm the suffering you yourself have inflicted.

fuck you. I hate you for that and I want to smash your face. Does this shit ever stop?

Posted by e11e

Posted by shellshocker
Why do you have to elicit fear and emotional stress to gain reassurance? Does this shit ever stop?

everyone plays out their insecurities in a different way.

click to expand

that's what he said

It is horrible

He needs to know for sure how I feel about him before he takes another step and becomes "more enslaved to a woman." (his words)

My words and actions aren't enough, he has to feel it, see it, experience my emotional distress over loosing him... for himself. It actually makes him smile to know how much I'd suffer and die without him so we're on equal ground.

And when it's confirmed to his satisfaction he feels safe.

But after I feel spent and withered and... enslaved. well would you look at that

idk, sometimes I feel I need the reminder, I can be emotionally selfish at times.

I told him I hate it and I don't need to prove myself... although I just did? He said he's been like this for a long time and doesn't know if he can change, especially since I've known from the start.

I clue into what's happening shortly after it's happened... it's still very difficult in the moment. i've never had this kind of emotional honesty before.

thank you, elle

my all time fav... smashy smashy!

Woah, hold on... how does one access this Mars in Scorpio forum without having found it through this link on the main page? Are there more like these?

yes, it can be difficult for the Fish. not to be taken lightly

Posted by Jynja
I am so sorry for your pain, Shell. You could turn it back on him... might stop him doing this over and over.

Annnnd... how did you find the parent Forum? I thought it was hidden. 😛

It was very well hidden 😉

Any type of tit for tat power game won't work, just sparks his competitive nature and his objective changes. It's no longer about expressing himself in his warped way it turns into expressing himself STRONGER.

I have to be water in these situations. quick, intuitive & genuine which = unpredictable. In the past he's been met with anything from tears, rage, zero/delayed reaction to indifference. He doesn't know what I'll do and either do I

When I'm authentic he has nothing to play off of but the reasons why he did it and the way it made me feel. He might gain satisfaction from my reaction in the moment but he always comes back later (minutes, days, weeks, months) sheepish with reflection and a full explanation and in some f*d up way it all makes sense and we step forward.

i know 🤢amp;

and the make up sex.... 😭

I remember this one time he went off and broke up with me over the phone. I said "ok" and hung up.

He calls me back, which is supposed to be a big deal cause he doesn't talk on the phone and says "I don't think you understand, I'm doing this because blah, blah, blah..." I interrupt him with, "ya I get it" and hung up again.

A week later I show up at his house where a bunch of us are gathering before a show, looking fine and feeling social. I first ask him if it's ok for me to be there. He nods, stays close and observant.

We ended up having sex in a booth at the back of the venue during the headliner.

sorry *tmi* but I've never gotten to tell that story before!