I find it is difficult to act rationally when my thoughts are influenced by my feelings. However, its also difficult to display emotions sincerely or interact genuinely when your feelings are influenced by thoughts of reason. Where would ethics and your morals reside within this dichotomy? I could've just let my feelings flow and just like every emotion, it would've eventually passed. However, thoughts of reason told me I would be allowing myself to engage in something taboo. Meaning to say that if I allowed myself to let my affections develop for you, it would be outright wrong and irrational for the reasons that 1) society claims its unethical for students to pursue professors, and 2) my beliefs say its immoral to form romantic interests on married men. Thus, I chose the path of rationality where concrete reasoning must prevail over abstract emotions. Why then, did my attempts of averting still fail? It really makes me wonder how much power the soul actually has over the mind. And that, irrespective of our moralistic or ethical rationales, would our tenacious soul still make its way into the light of consciousness via our emotions? As if to require that the choices we make are driven into actions which ensure that we honor thyself (being your true self.) Yet because and only because society conditioned you to think that what you're engaging in is taboo, you simultaneously also become aware of your obvious irrationality in the situation at hand. So by disregarding that fact, your conscience begins to nag at you and in an almost roundabout mechanism, you suddenly find yourself in the midst of a personal dilemma of mind vs emotions. How does one reach a peaceful balance between the two?
