blah.

what if someone you know is really depressed lately. about family/school matters. Like for instance, him hating his step dad and just feeling sad for no reason sometimes. How can i help this person? What kinda advice can i give him? Sorry, just really desperate since i dont know what to do at this moment since i tried everything.

Hhhmmm... I know what you mean Luz, sometimes when people feel that way, there's not very much you can do for them... Just make sure they know you're their for them if they ever need anybody.

The only advice I can think of at present would be that your friend TALK to his step dad. Depression can stem from many areas but try addressing one area at a time, then maybe the others will fall into place. It is not uncommon for teenagers to feel like this at this stage, with all the pressure of school and maybe without feeling support or security from home life or family. Most of us have been through this at one stage or another. Tell your buddy to concentrate on HIMSELF first and foremost. He needs to take responsibility for his own life and direction. He has the ability to make choices. It is a rough transition into adulthood, sometimes it places too much responsibility on the young but unfortunately it is a part of life. Good luck and keep us informed.

Hmmm... Lawgoddess, what you said kind of reminds me of what my Dad told me. He said "no matter what changes happen at home in the next few years, you have to be really selfish about what you want". I know, becuase he was speaking from experience. My dad's mother and father went through a divorce when he was in his first year of college, and his mother kicked him out of the house and he had no where to live for a long time. He couldn't afford to go to college anymore, and for a while he was just floating until he married my mother. I forgot why I was writing this. I think it was to say that he regrets never having completed college (and never having the chance since then) because of his home situation, and he warns never letting a home situation at that age get in the way one's self.

i tried telling him to talk to his step dad before. But his step dad is kind of an ass. He criticizes everything about him which obviously will lower his confidence one way or another. He tries not to take his words so seriously but ya know, somedays it aint that easy. He makes him do everything around the house and doesnt appreciate anything he does for his step dad. And he restricts him from anything that can bring him some "happiness". And i told him to talk to his dad about it but he said that hes only going to take away things and privileges. But i guess... its better to take a risk and stand up for himself than let him push him around so much. And he's also depressed because he has so many friends at school but he really just wants a tight brotherly bond with a couple of friends instead of being clueless with so many. I just told him that i understand how he feels and that he can maybe try to establish a close friendship with one of his many guy "friends". But after awhile, most high school(so i've heard) friendships dont really last. Maybe the close ones. So i just told him to not worry about that, and just concentrate on what he wants to do for himself in the future, since theres so many more years to come and he's going to experience so many different things, so i wanted to basically get him "excited" of basically living. He feels better now, but depression still comes because he pushes it away, and ofcoures if he pushes it away its clearly only going to come back someday. not that depression is a wrong thing to feel..but it gets in the way of a lot of things. And i care about him..so i hope he feels better and not let things get in the way of what he can develope in himself.. i'll try to persuade him into talking to his dad..since his dad makes his life basically a living sh!t hole. Thanks for your comments morgan and lawgoddess, appreciated it a lot. And i'll keep you informed as well.

By this new info, it does sound as if talking to his step dad may be a fruitless exercise. I think the step dad may be the one with the real issues here. Does your friend have contact with his biological dad? If so, then it may be better that he talks to him about things. And he should talk to his mum about what his step dad is doing to him. (It kinda sounds like abuse to me). Maybe his mum isn't totally aware of the situation...and she needs to be! He has to tell her how depressed he is. As for wanting a close friendship with a school mate, I fully understand. Here in Oz, friendships are deemed more important than family ties (generally speaking of course) b/c most Aussie families are completely dysfunctional. We turn to our friends when we need family. So I know what he is feeling. Unfortunately he can't force a closeness with his buddies..these things happen of their own accord. BUT the good news is...he has YOU, and you sound like the great friend that he needs at the moment. Point out to him that he still has his mates to muck around with, but he has you to confide in and give him support. It doesn't matter that you aren't a 'bloke'. It will actually work to his avantage in the future as most women really appreciate men who can relate to women in a genuine way.

yeah infact hes my boyfriend rofl!

He did meet his real dad, infact theres some things about his real dad thats just totally...er. His mom left him because you know..he goes off with other women and has 20384302483 babies. And hes one of em. His step dad did this to his older sister but she moved out and got married, and now its his turn to get the "wrath of sugar daddy". Hes worried that once he moves out that his lil brother is going to get the same treatment again. But i think hes doing much better now, and thanks soo much for your advices and support lawgoddess, i really needed it at the moment since i was blank at thought because he seemed like he didnt even want to do anything anymore. Much love!

The Step-Dad has issues! For some reason, he is one of those bastards who feels better when belittling someone else! This guy isn't going to change and it would only make it worse to bring his shortcomings to light as insecurity is part of his problem.

I am so proud of you Luz! You are a good friend, besides being the girlfriend!

Sorry I wasn't more help! Sometimes, we are given examples of What-Not-To-Be-Like with the parenting examples that are displayed before us!

yeah his step dads a dick. but oh wells, he doesnt let his words get to him, he just doesnt like how his step dad does things to ruin his life. Its his actions that piss him off. And i'd like to go over there and slap his dad silly 🙂 and thats okae, atleast you replied 😄 much love ofcourse to you also star!

Don't you think though that you cannot go by Sun Sign alone?

i dont know, i was just kidding anyway. but the whole rising sign makes a lot of sense for me but my cousins a leo rising and its nothing like her or so she says.