Chapter One ? Christopher ?I?m not wearing that? Columbus
Ship mate (SM): Land Ahoy!
Columbus (C): See I told you lads. I told you we would hit land. You all thought I was crazy but I proved you wrong, I proved you all wrong! [Evil laugh]
SM: Sir?
C: Yes?
SM: Do you want to go ashore?
C: Just a minute. [Finishes evil laugh] Okay let?s go.
[One short boat trip and several capsizes later]
C: Ahh?(Smells the air)?India.
SM: Sir, this isn?t India. It?s America.
C: It?s India!
Native 1 (N1): Excuse me. [Native 1 walks past with a bag full of fish]
SM: Sir, it can?t possibly be India.
C: Why not?
SM: We haven?t travelled nearly enough miles for it to be India.
C: You and yours miles, when are you going to adopt the metric system?
SM: I don?t see how that is relevant.
C: That?s why your not captain.
SM: I know I wasn?t captain because you called it.
C: It doesn?t matter how I became captain all that matter is that I am captain.
SM: Yes, sir. [Whisper] Idiot.
C: What was that?
SM: Nothing. [Whisper] (censored due to vulgar language, it sounded Italian at least)
C: Okay, good. [Plants Spanish flag in the sand] I claim this land in the name of Spain.
******
N1: Hey Steve, who are they?
Native 2 (N2): Explorers.
N1: What are they doing?
N2: Exploring I suppose.
N1: Exploring what?
N2: [Pause] Probably this island.
N1: Why are they doing that?
N2: I don?t know, maybe they?re European.
N1: Damn Europeans! Don?t they know this is our island?
N2: Apparently not.
N1: I think we should go tell them.
[Native 1 walks over to Columbus who is praying]
N1: Excuse me? [Native 1 taps Columbus on the shoulder] Excuse me? What do you think you are doing?
C: Praying.
N1: Praying?
C: I am thanking God for delivering us safety to the land of India.
SM: It?s not India.
C: Shut up!
N1: What?s India?
N2: Probably their word for land.
N1: Well listen here mate; you?re trespassing on our island.
C: Trespassing? But I have just claimed this island in the name of Spain.
N1: You can?t do that.
C: I just have. Look I have the flag and everything.
N1: But you can?t claim this island, it?s ours.
C: Do you have a flag?
N1: That doesn?t matter.
C: If you don?t have a flag then I can claim.
N1: Just because you have a flag doesn?t entitle you to go about claiming all the land of non-flag people.
C: Sorry but those are the rules.
N1: Who wrote these rules?
C: We did.
N1: Then you can change them.
C: Sorry but I can?t do that.
N1: Why not?
C: Listen I don?t try to understand the rules, I just follow them.
N1: So you can claim any land you like if you have a flag because that is the rule?
C: Yes.
N1: But that?s stupid.
C: That?s exploration. Now if you excuse me I have some enslaving to do. [Columbus and Ship Mate exit]
Keep dxpnet Independent
dxpnet has been online since 1997, powered by real conversations and a passionate astrology community.
If this page helped you, you can support the site below.
Wondering how everybody located this site the first time. I was searching for horoscopes and then found the message boards, been hooked ever since. Now I read the boards first and usually skip the horoscope.
I am So Stupid. I just shelled out fifty bucks to have my nails professionally done, and I could kick myself. I have made this mistake before, but something possessed me to do it again. Don't ask me what.
I grajuetid! Whooooieeee! 13 hrs ago this minute I recieved my highschool diploma, all dressed up in my red cap & gown with the gold tassle and ropes for honors students- it was great! I'm an alumni now!
i've been swimming for awhile in my panty and bra, i have no idea HOW this has happened(but im assuming something must have happened in the pool...) But few days ago, my toe started to itch while i was talking on the phone and chatting away. The next day,
I have two regular customers who come to my work and unfortunately I always seem to be the one they come to. The problem is, I can't understand a DAMNED word either of them say. They are hispanic and have the heaviest accents I've ever heard in my LIFE.
life is all about choices, the choices you make define the way you are, the way you are heading, life experiences gives you different pathways but your choices lead you. So basically, were you already made when you were born?
when trouble arises and things look bad, there ia always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. very often, that individual is crazy.
I am having a major problem at work with a girl with whom I have clashed since day one of my employment there in January. Every single time I work with her I want to tell her to treetrunk off because she is such a cookiemonster. She bosses me around yet
Do you think people are naturally selfish? Basically evil? Intent on their own distruction? OK, that was a little over dramatic. But do you think people are naturally selfish?
Ship mate (SM): Land Ahoy!
Columbus (C): See I told you lads. I told you we would hit land. You all thought I was crazy but I proved you wrong, I proved you all wrong! [Evil laugh]
SM: Sir?
C: Yes?
SM: Do you want to go ashore?
C: Just a minute. [Finishes evil laugh] Okay let?s go.
[One short boat trip and several capsizes later]
C: Ahh?(Smells the air)?India.
SM: Sir, this isn?t India. It?s America.
C: It?s India!
Native 1 (N1): Excuse me. [Native 1 walks past with a bag full of fish]
SM: Sir, it can?t possibly be India.
C: Why not?
SM: We haven?t travelled nearly enough miles for it to be India.
C: You and yours miles, when are you going to adopt the metric system?
SM: I don?t see how that is relevant.
C: That?s why your not captain.
SM: I know I wasn?t captain because you called it.
C: It doesn?t matter how I became captain all that matter is that I am captain.
SM: Yes, sir. [Whisper] Idiot.
C: What was that?
SM: Nothing. [Whisper] (censored due to vulgar language, it sounded Italian at least)
C: Okay, good. [Plants Spanish flag in the sand] I claim this land in the name of Spain.
******
N1: Hey Steve, who are they?
Native 2 (N2): Explorers.
N1: What are they doing?
N2: Exploring I suppose.
N1: Exploring what?
N2: [Pause] Probably this island.
N1: Why are they doing that?
N2: I don?t know, maybe they?re European.
N1: Damn Europeans! Don?t they know this is our island?
N2: Apparently not.
N1: I think we should go tell them.
[Native 1 walks over to Columbus who is praying]
N1: Excuse me? [Native 1 taps Columbus on the shoulder] Excuse me? What do you think you are doing?
C: Praying.
N1: Praying?
C: I am thanking God for delivering us safety to the land of India.
SM: It?s not India.
C: Shut up!
N1: What?s India?
N2: Probably their word for land.
N1: Well listen here mate; you?re trespassing on our island.
C: Trespassing? But I have just claimed this island in the name of Spain.
N1: You can?t do that.
C: I just have. Look I have the flag and everything.
N1: But you can?t claim this island, it?s ours.
C: Do you have a flag?
N1: That doesn?t matter.
C: If you don?t have a flag then I can claim.
N1: Just because you have a flag doesn?t entitle you to go about claiming all the land of non-flag people.
C: Sorry but those are the rules.
N1: Who wrote these rules?
C: We did.
N1: Then you can change them.
C: Sorry but I can?t do that.
N1: Why not?
C: Listen I don?t try to understand the rules, I just follow them.
N1: So you can claim any land you like if you have a flag because that is the rule?
C: Yes.
N1: But that?s stupid.
C: That?s exploration. Now if you excuse me I have some enslaving to do. [Columbus and Ship Mate exit]