Internet Humor

Remember When....



A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show of note
and windows were something you hated to clean
and ram, the cousin of a goat

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
and a gig was a job for the night
now they all mean different things
and that really mega bytes

An application was for employment
a program was a TV show
a cursor used profanity
a keyboard was a piano

Memory was something that you lost with age
a CD was a bank account
and if you had a 3 1/2" floppy
you hoped nobody ever found out

Compress was something you did to the garbage
not something you did to a file
and if you unzipped anything in public
you'd be in jail for a while

Log on meant adding wood to the fire
hard drive, a long trip on the road
a mouse pad was where a mouse would hang out
and a backup happened to your commode

Cut, you did with a pocket knife
paste, you did with glue
the web was just the spider's home
and a virus meant the flu

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
and the memory in my head
I hear no one's been killed in a computer crash yet
but when it happens, they'll wish they were dead.

Source: anonymous

Dr. Seuss Technical Writer



What if Dr. Seuss did technical writing?
(You really have to read this one out loud to appreciate it)
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.


If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Computers are a funny thing...(becareful, they're stealing your souls)... This reminds me of a funny argument that my brother and my father had over the difference between writing a regular book and writing a program for the computar (my dad being a programmer), and how he was arguing that there wasn't that much of a difference, each has a purpose, a plot and characters, but my brother arguing that there was a big difference... Huh, funny.