Know-It-Alls (Advice On Them)

Last night,

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and the subject of know-it-alls came up.

She's asked how to would I handle those kind of people. haha, I didn't know what to tell her because I typically don't deal with people who feel they know everything -- they kind that never believes that he/she is wrong about something.

If I deal with them at work, its only for a short time, I don't have to work underneath someone like (think Gawd).

I'm not sure of what kind of advice to give her, because I'm a bit more frank then she is in terms of making sure that those kind of people understand where I'm coming from, even if they don't like.

Maybe that's why alot of know-it-alls don't talk to me. I do work around them, but they don't stick around long LOL!!!

When a voice isn't heard above the crowd .... the volume of this voice increases.

When a voice is validated .... it whispers quietly.

So you mean ignore them P-Angel? I've been trying to tell her that LOL!!! For some reason, she can't ignore this person :O

I try talking to her again tomorrow -- it's hard for me to ignore negative people but I manage to do it.

No, that's not what I meant ...

"I'm a bit more frank then she is in terms of making sure that those kind of people understand where I'm coming from, even if they don't like."


In dealing with those people .. where you are coming from is irrelevant because the problem that exists is that they feel like others don't understand where they are coming from. So, if you (3rd person) disregard their expression of being right, to firmly state your position in opposition .. then the problem they have is hightened, instead resolved = they now have a more intense feeling of not being heard or understood.

The solution to the problem is to stop and 'hear' what they say without interjection in opposition. Similar to customer service skills = validate what the other is saying, even if they are wrong, and they will become quiet.

Somewhere along the line .. this person that your friend is dealing with .. this persons voice was continually NOT heard when expressed, most likely during the Formative Years. This behaviour in a person stems from some kind of trauma, and not just on the surface for people to pass a judge call of being a choice that they make.

It's just like with most attitudes in life, they stem from a prolonged condition placed on them, usually from childhood .... we live what we learn, and if we learn that nobody is listening to us, then our ego's develop an abundance of self-righteousness.


This person's voice needs to be validated, not ignored .. that is the path to healing.


Say: "I feel you. I'll keep that point in mind. Thank you"


And they will become silent because you just acknowledged that you heard what they said. At this point, this person will "hear" what you say also, because you put value to him/her .. which is what s/he is seeking.

When I come across a fixed arguement, I just let them talk then say, ''hmmmmmmmm, I hear ya''

That usually puts ice in a lot of the convos that could have turned heated due to everyone trying to forcefully put views across.

But P-Ang's right (and put it so eloquently!) because everytime I use this then remain very silent, the other person usually asks, ''so what do you think?'' or ''what were you saying?''

btw, sometimes I don't hear at all :-)

I cant help it!
I "DO" know it all :-)