Love Hate Relationships

Why do people stay in relationships that make them miserable? I don't understand it, but I see so many people I know in these kinds of situations, and I think to myself, "jeeze, they could get someone far better!!!". They even talk about breaking up, or even do it, but then the next day they've made up and are back together again. It's terrible terrible terrible. They are really limiting themselves and shouldn't be. I can't tell if it's a insecurity thing or a self esteem problem or what, but if someone makes you misserable, I say dump them. Two freinds of mine were going out for six months, and the only reason they stayed together was because they got satisfaction out of the fact they made eachother equally miserable. There is something very wrong with that.

It seems to me very often love can be confused with too many other things... Let's see, fear is a really big one... There's lust of course. I also think it's stupid to be in a relationship only for the sex, but whatever. There's duty, security, a freind of mine said religion, but I'd count that as duty. Anyway, I just think it's stupid. Love is love, and love is not when you are in a relationship where someone is making you miserable. Grrrr. But of course, sometimes there's just no convincing the people in the relationships of this.

Love should be respectful and sensitive, and if these are missing, I say hit the road jack, and don't you back no more, no more.

Love is something that I always think I'm in, but as soon as I start to think so the other person screws everything up. Love is weird. I think it's more of a feeling than the dynamics of a relationship. You don't have to work to feel love for another person, but you have to work really freaking hard to make a relationship stay together.

And almost all my relationships have been love/hate relationships. Maybe with the exception of my last one (the one I guess I'm in right now). Although, we've come really close to fisticuffs before. Is that bad? lol

I always like a teensy bit of friction in my relationships--I said TEENSY, like fun little disagreements and things...it keeps it interesting and not stale.

i think its the fact that girls get attached to their boyfriends, im sure their boyfriends were nice at first but turned into this shady bastard. Sometimes girls just stay because they knew at one point "the nice boyfriend". so theyre basically trying to retrieve that back..thinking they can get it back because it was once there. or they're just blinded by their love which deals with the guys mistakes and thus..a cycle happens..

Luz, I know what you mean, and it's because the girls become too attatched and too unwilling to see other possibilities...

Phoenix, friction is fine, I'm only saying that there are relationships where the participants really harber true malignant feelings towards eachother, and in these cases I really don't understand why they stay together.

There are other reasons than low self esteem that ppl choose to remain in dysfunctional relationships. It is so much easier standing on the 'outside' looking in, to know what 'should' happen. Sometimes ppl just need to work it out for themselves..and that is the point isn't it? To learn from past mistakes. I remember an old friend telling me (she was in a domestic violent situation) that she KNOWS she should leave, but she hasn't reached her limit as yet....but she said she knows her limit, and once reached, she is outta there never to return. Subsequently, she has left that relationship and has had a few good ones since. It's frustrating to bystanders for sure, but all you can be is a good friend. Besides, as a bystqander you can learn through watching others of how 'not to act' or what choices 'not to make'.

i'll stop the world and melt with you.