What do you think?

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Generous1987
@Generous1987

Comments: 115 · Posts: 37 · Topics: 2
My aunt's husband had a stroke, and the doctors don't think he is going to survive it,

My aunt's husband was very protective of my aunt and her daughter (my cousin) whom I'm very close to, and they got accustomed to that, they never do anything if he's not involved in that,

My cousin asked me to move in with them, since I work from home so basically I could stay with my aunt and not leave her alone when my cousin is gone for work,

I felt a bit angry because I feel like it's a huge responsibility to throw at someone, I am very independent, I do almost everything by myself, and what she asked from me is very restrictive,

I did offer to come visit and spend some days with them as I usually do, but I think moving in, especially at this time is not right for me.

I currently live with my sister and her two kids ( divorced) I don't have the best relationship with her, but she doesn't interfere with my life.

Am I overreacting and being an asshole about it, or is it actually very selfish of her to ask?
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Why Not?
@Whynn

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I'm sorry to hear about your aunt's husband's condition. My mom also had a stroke attack a few days ago but it was not as severe as we feared. I understand the concern.

From the way I see it, since your cousin feels very close to you, she feels that your presence can help her a lot going through things with the unfortunate condition of her father. She may have felt overwhelmed by it.

She asked if you could be available for them.

Imo, you have every right to decline her request and since you seem to react strongly against her request, you may want to spend a few days in a row with them (just like how you usually does) to test water and see if they really interfere your independence with their condition. I think the reason is more to you feeling like they would be dependent on you. If you do, I totally get that because I live with my mom who is disabled (her leg) and my father whose muscles are already weak (he also had a stroke attack twice but he survived) and I felt like my freedom have been held down..

There must be a middle ground somewhere where you and them can both have win win solution to the tackle the condition.

Also, if it can be of any help to you.. perhaps look at it from philanthropy viewpoint. Who knows God's blessings rests in this opportunity?

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Generous1987
@Generous1987

Comments: 115 · Posts: 37 · Topics: 2
Posted by FuelAirPropellant
I just had this talk with someone. Take care of your independence. Nurture it and maintain it. This is what I've learned from all my pitfalls in life. Only you know what's best for yourself (unless you're crazy)


I'm not crazy or anything, but I have noticed the older I get the more selfish I become, not necessarily a good thing, but it's allowing me to take care of myself, the ten-year-ago me would have jumped to the rescue if anyone asked, now I just want to save myself first, and would cut anyone out if they try to cling to me.

I sometimes miss the old me but I just can't bring myself to be 100% there for anyone else but myself.
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@FuelAirPropellant

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Posted by Generous1987
Posted by FuelAirPropellant
I just had this talk with someone. Take care of your independence. Nurture it and maintain it. This is what I've learned from all my pitfalls in life. Only you know what's best for yourself (unless you're crazy)

I'm not crazy or anything, but I have noticed the older I get the more selfish I become, not necessarily a good thing, but it's allowing me to take care of myself, the ten-year-ago me would have jumped to the rescue if anyone asked, now I just want to save myself first, and would cut anyone out if they try to cling to me.

I sometimes miss the old me but I just can't bring myself to be 100% there for anyone else but myself.
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Same. I once had a talk with another Aquarius and my best friend who is also an Aquarius and we tend to be the "ladder holders" for everyone else. We would help everyone until they surpassed us. Then we couldn't get help, not only because no one would help us but because our needs our so strange and specific.

I don't miss my old tendencies. I learned that if you want to actually be of constructive help to anyone, you have to better yourself first. Also sometimes people need to figure out their own solutions, and that's the best help you can give them.