Confusing Pisces man

Hey there fishy folk,

I'm a Leo lady (with a Cancer moon so I'm a sensitive kitty) in need of some advice. I just started dating an older Pisces fellow. We met online, have seen each other a few times and we've really clicked. We've been extremely honest with each other right off the bat as to what we want in a relationship and the relationships we've been in before. It's been incredibly refreshing and has created an instant closeness. He's very sweet, cuddly and attentive which I'm not used to but am thoroughly enjoying. 🙂 We both really like each other but decided to keep our profiles up while we get to know each other and see where this goes. The strange thing is that he keeps pushing me to go out with other people. I haven't mentioned going out with anyone else and I haven't asked him about other people that he's seeing. We did agree that we would be honest with each other if one of us did ask the other about who else they were seeing. He hasn't asked me anything about who else I'm seeing but keeps talking about me meeting/going out with other guys or girls (I'm into both). Today he said that if I'm not liking the other guys online that I should just pick up a bartender. I told him that I'm just too picky to pick up anyone. When I'm around him I consider myself with him and don't really want to think about other people. But if he asked me straight up I would be honest. It's gets stranger. He's updated his profile recently and added more details to the description of the person that he wants to be with and well....it's me. The description is exactly me! I'm very very confused. Is he trying to push me away when we keep getting closer and closer? Or is he really not that into me? It's mind boggling. Anyone have any outside insight to the matter? Many thanks!

That's sort of what I'm trying to figure out. I mean we're not exclusive and we agreed we'd be open with each other about any other people that we're seeing if the other person asked. Only he hasn't asked me. Which makes me think he might be joking or just fishing (ha!) for information. But why fish when he could just ask me directly and I'd be honest with him? See? Very confusing.

Thanks! It's by an artist named Jaqui Oakley. She's an amazing illustrator. Hoping to get it as a tattoo one day.

Ok...so the fishing part makes sense but why would he update his dating profile to describe me exactly?

Also, I hardly feel like I'm in the "friend zone". We've been far more than friendly. 😉 The passion & attraction is off the charts actually. I understand your view 88Doble and I'm sorry you've had to go through something like that but we're still in an early stage of getting to know each other and aren't exclusive so I'm not really offended just find it odd when we agreed to be honest with each other that he just wouldn't be up front.

Posted by MissFisk
men are fucking retarded.

Well said! Haha!

Thanks ProphetaAzteca! Incredibly insightful and greatly appreciated. That still doesn't explain why he updated his dating profile with an exact description of myself as to who he's looking for?

Ok, yeah that was pretty obvious after I wrote it. Well....I'm an idiot! Haha!

So, yeah, um...any advice as to what I should do next?

Posted by ProphetaAzteca

Posted by erniechick
Ok, yeah that was pretty obvious after I wrote it. Well....I'm an idiot! Haha!

So, yeah, um...any advice as to what I should do next?

biggest piece of advice😛AY ATTENTION TO EVERY!SINGLE!DETAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY ARE YOUR MOST CRITICAL ASSETS!!!!!!

TRUST ME!!!!!TRUST ME when I say if you hit those details perfectly,you will be submerged into a world of romance few (if any) ever venture

click to expand

so true... the message is in the method. Understand that and every day will be Valentines

Great advice all. Thanks so much. I have some ideas churning.🙂

Posted by tiziani
Maybe he just wants to build a relationship with you that isn't based on sex. I've been with women I like where we talk about them sleeping with other guys. It bypasses a lot of unnecessary drama and mind games but yes obviously there are other ways to go about seeking trust in a relationship.

I think there has to be a deep level of comfort and friendship to be able to have that type of conversation.
Thus far the only guy I could ever talk to about other guys and sex was a Bull with Sag moon.

Giving you an unsolicited example, on my birthday I was offered oral sex from some random guys my friends told was my birthday.
These guys showed up at the door where I was having my party.
I told this Bull about it and he knew instantly that the idea turned me on.
We talked about it and I just loved that we could speak about it without him getting jealous, angry or flustered.

I figure guys have their own way of determining who is right for them.

Sounds like he is just trying to figure you out and to make sure he is what you want. I know I want to be sure. Its pretty logical. If a girl isn't in it to win it then I won't be either. Would be a waste of time.

Idk bout repeatedly

Well the only other thing I could add would be that we've only gone out about 4 times. He's really sweet and we're incredibly attracted to each other. It logically makes sense to keep seeing other people since we're still getting to know each other. Only problem is that I'm really picky. It takes a lot for me to even respond to an online message. Most guys I come across are boring. Things with this guy are exciting. He's incredibly confident and is turned on by the fact that I'm a little shy around him. Yes, I'm a shy leo. Contradiction I know! 🙂 Anyway, I honestly don't want to see anyone else and see how things with this guy turn out. I also have a crazy job so don't have much spare time to date multiple people. But it seems like a guy who encourages me to date other people is doing so so that he won't feel guilty about dating other people. But if this is actually a test of my interest well...that's a different story. But doesn't it seem too soon to be exclusive? I've never been in this situation before so I'm not sure how to proceed. At the moment I'm so crazy about him that it makes my head spin. Whether or not he's crazy about me remains to be seen. Logically it seems fast and I don't want to misinterpret things and end up scaring him off.

Soooooooooooo...just found him as a new user on a dating site that we didn't meet on. Maybe he really does want me to see other people so he doesn't feel so guilty about him seeing other people too. Oh well. Lesson learned. A sad lesson but a lesson none the less. 😢

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by ProphetaAzteca

Posted by erniechick
Ok, yeah that was pretty obvious after I wrote it. Well....I'm an idiot! Haha!

So, yeah, um...any advice as to what I should do next?

biggest piece of advice😛AY ATTENTION TO EVERY!SINGLE!DETAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY ARE YOUR MOST CRITICAL ASSETS!!!!!!

TRUST ME!!!!!TRUST ME when I say if you hit those details perfectly,you will be submerged into a world of romance few (if any) ever venture

so true... the message is in the method. Understand that and every day will be Valentines

....or a nightmare on elm street hehe 😄

click to expand

TRUTH! once the message is decoded... may not be a pleasant one. And they say Crabs talk sideways!

We don't need you anyway

Poisson...more like Poison

lmao

I was married to a pisces man for 20 years, never ever would he have suggested or encouraged me to see other men. Don't see him anymore, why would you date someone who wants you to do this, for any reason? I'm a Leo Cancer moon too btw 🙂. As a side note, Leo and Pisces is a great realtionship.

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by ProphetaAzteca

Posted by erniechick
Ok, yeah that was pretty obvious after I wrote it. Well....I'm an idiot! Haha!

So, yeah, um...any advice as to what I should do next?

biggest piece of advice😛AY ATTENTION TO EVERY!SINGLE!DETAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY ARE YOUR MOST CRITICAL ASSETS!!!!!!

TRUST ME!!!!!TRUST ME when I say if you hit those details perfectly,you will be submerged into a world of romance few (if any) ever venture

so true... the message is in the method. Understand that and every day will be Valentines

....or a nightmare on elm street hehe 😄

TRUTH! once the message is decoded... may not be a pleasant one. And they say Crabs talk sideways!

click to expand

I have pretty much iced out my former Taurus because she didn't pay attention to anything significant to me. It was all about her.

The deal breaker?

Yesterday, she went out drinking beer with her asshole friend instead of calling me and inviting me out to lunch since it's Veterans Day.

Yeah, blow me off on Veterans Day to drink beer with a jackass. That will win you lots of bonus points.

Thank you all for your input and piranhaparadise is right. He doesn't owe me anything and I don't owe him anything. I was in that "new guy" fog and was searching for reassurance because let's face it if you really like a guy and see that he's still looking for other women well that stings. That stings a lot. He definitely tied me up in his world with his sweet words and gestures. But the fog has lifted and I'm talking to other guys too and keeping my options open. I was definitely putting too much pressure on my experiences with this one person. But when something feels good you want it to keep going. So I'm not throwing in the towel (as some of you rightly think I should) and I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens. Should my emotions get the better of me again I'll tell him how I feel and if it ends it ends.

Posted by MissFisk
I've decided. Pisces men aren't for me.

+1. They are very charming but lack any sense of direction or any ability to be Direct.

Posted by tiziani
This no longer makes any sense to me. Best of luck.

Me neither dude. Haha! But I'm going with my gut on this one.

Seems to me you were both playing some kind of dating game. If you liked this guy, why did you not try to pursue just him, and instead, continued keeping your "options open"? That's a very unpleasant situation for a fish. We like to feel secure about our choices. We want to be with someone we can trust to not leave us hanging the moment someone slightly "better" comes along. He probably got upset about the fact that you continued keeping your dating profile, and lashed out at you with "subtle" remarks.

Pisces are quite nonconfrontational most of the time, and when something bothers them, they tend to take the long way 'round. I'm not suggesting this is in any way a proper way to be acting, and I, as a fish, have struggled for quite some time with changing that and being more open, but that's probably what he did. He maybe thought you were not worth his time, seeing that you continued keeping your options open, and so, he decided to do the same, and good riddance.

Or, he could have been genuine all along, and is really into threesomes with bartenders, who knows? The best way to approach a Pisces that's giving off confusing signals is to plainly ask them. Most of the time, they'll answer just as plainly. If he's still giving half-answers, or continues acting weird, then you need to throw this fish back in the lake, for he is too slippery to handle. He needs to grow up some more.

Posted by Treplev
Seems to me you were both playing some kind of dating game. If you liked this guy, why did you not try to pursue just him, and instead, continued keeping your "options open"? That's a very unpleasant situation for a fish. We like to feel secure about our choices. We want to be with someone we can trust to not leave us hanging the moment someone slightly "better" comes along. He probably got upset about the fact that you continued keeping your dating profile, and lashed out at you with "subtle" remarks.

Pisces are quite nonconfrontational most of the time, and when something bothers them, they tend to take the long way 'round. I'm not suggesting this is in any way a proper way to be acting, and I, as a fish, have struggled for quite some time with changing that and being more open, but that's probably what he did. He maybe thought you were not worth his time, seeing that you continued keeping your options open, and so, he decided to do the same, and good riddance.

Or, he could have been genuine all along, and is really into threesomes with bartenders, who knows? The best way to approach a Pisces that's giving off confusing signals is to plainly ask them. Most of the time, they'll answer just as plainly. If he's still giving half-answers, or continues acting weird, then you need to throw this fish back in the lake, for he is too slippery to handle. He needs to grow up some more.

Actually we talked about it on our first date that we would keep our profiles up and keep seeing other people while we got to know each other. Also we agreed to be honest with the other person if we wanted to know anything about the other persons dates. We haven't talked about exclusivity yet. I was confused by seeing his updated profile after one of our dates where he basically had described me when the previous night he was talking about me going out and picking up a female bartender (girl on girl or three-way is not a fantasy of his, we talked about it). And him putting up a new profile on a different dating site (one I already had a profile on but he didn't) well that really hurt. So the whole point of my coming here was to find a little clarity. Yes, I do really like this guy a lot and I lost my head a little when all of these things happened at once. But I realize that there's still a lot we don't know about each other yet. Upon further reflection to be exclusive w

...wouldn't be the wisest idea. So my decision is to see how things pan out. If someone else interesting comes along then I may or may not turn them away. It depends on the situation. But until me and this guy sit down and both say we only want to see each other I'm just going to continue my life as per usual and that makes the most sense to me right now.

What boggles me is that you keep trying to guess why he did this or that, and keep asking us about it, when the real answer is right in front of you. Ask him clearely about it. See what he tells you. Maybe hil will open up, and clear everything. Maybe he will continue joking like that and acting slippery, in which case you know he doesn't respect you, or care about you at all. Pisces can be really heartless bastards sometimes.

I, for one, still am not ok whith your decision to see other people. Especially while saying that you didn't even feel the need to see other people at first. If you feel the guy is ok after the first two dates stick with him for some time, see where that takes you. You'll never be able to make a clear assesment about one person while you keep searching around for others. It's something like trying different shoes in the store, while walking in others that fit. I really don't get this "modern" approach to dating. All you are doing is inviting insecurity between you, and lack of trust. To me, it really seems that he was not ok with your decision to see other people, but he felt that you'd think hink him pushy, or needy if he told you that, so he started to play these little games, to signal you that something's not okay. I'm not saying that's a better approach, but that's why i think yiu need to confront him, and get clear answers about it. If he really cares for you, he'll try to give you those answers.

Posted by 88Doble
looks like you are ok with everything, I just don't get why you are here asking like if you were really concerned. I kind of feel embarrassed myself for responding at this thread. lol

Don't be embarrassed at all. Seriously, I'm still confused on this whole thing but playing the "what does every little thing he does mean" game in my head doesn't help anything. I needed to talk this out and get some opinions to try to find some clarity which I did and I'm grateful for all the responses.