How much time is too much time?

Tubbs.. TELL HIM THIS. Just like you told us. Fish aren't lost in fantasy as much as people think. They're also not as sensitive as people think, and appreciate honesty and reality.

P.S. Rod first. THEN Spear. K? 😉

days, he said "lately, other things are more important." meaning, that i've been distracted and when i had a brain fart during our convo earlier, it was further proof of my inattentiveness.

and ok nefer. i think we were both tired and stressed. i have to head north, i got a personal deadline i will not be meeting today and it's just...UGH!

i dont know what to tell him though. i think he recognizes that he gets much of my focus but at the same time, why would he say that if he did?

i told him that in my relationship with the leo that i could literally go days without talking to his ass and it didnt dawn on me until my hormones set in. i think he fears my not being invested and i'm trying very hard to not be so "whatever" in my relationship with him. i was very passive in the past and i'm trying to be engaged. i think i'm doing a good job but i guess not. i dont know what else to do though besides eliminating some extra-curricular activities.

At that moment he DID feel like other things are getting more of your focus.. even though deep down (logically -- yes people, Fish CAN do logic!) he knew it was exaggerated, unfair and untrue to throw that at you. He was just reacting to his feelings... probably fear-based.. I don't know what that particular catfish fears.. perhaps abandonment.. perhaps indifference... I don't know his past. I know *I* hate to feel ignored, unimportant.. the way you and your Leo were? Would never, ever work for me. I'd start feeling like a "convenience" or a "fallback plan".. when in a relationship, I don't do "part-time lover".. I want the whole enchilada, including the garnish and the plate it's served on. I could be way off (of course) but I'd say he's looking for some reassurance (of your level of "investment"?)... for you to SAY, "Baby - you ARE so so so important to me. But so are my deadlines. I'm sorry I'm distracted lately. What do you think we should do about this?"

nah, i dont think he is clingy...not in the slightest. i think maybe it might be some issues from his past creeping in and that intermingled with some comments i made about my need for freedom and space and distance and "do relationships have to be everyday?" mentality.

i haven't exhibited any FLIGHT responses. he's not doing anything overly clingy. i think we're both kinda protect against the past...at least i hope so.

i'll see what he says after he has had time to think about it.

i get that i should've focused on him and the moment i couldn't, i suppose i should've said, "it was nice talking about i have some work to do. i'll try to give you a call later." instead of doing that, i tried to keep talking to him while doing other stuff and i guess that does send a mixed message.

i don't think he shouldve treated it as if i was making out my grocery list mid-coitus 😛

Who's undignified? Tubby? A Bull trying to learn to speak Marine? Pfft, hardly.

Posted by Nefer
At that moment he DID feel like other things are getting more of your focus.. even though deep down (logically -- yes people, Fish CAN do logic!) he knew it was exaggerated, unfair and untrue to throw that at you. He was just reacting to his feelings... probably fear-based.. I don't know what that particular catfish fears.. perhaps abandonment.. perhaps indifference... I don't know his past. I know *I* hate to feel ignored, unimportant.. the way you and your Leo were? Would never, ever work for me. I'd start feeling like a "convenience" or a "fallback plan".. when in a relationship, I don't do "part-time lover".. I want the whole enchilada, including the garnish and the plate it's served on. I could be way off (of course) but I'd say he's looking for some reassurance (of your level of "investment"?)... for you to SAY, "Baby - you ARE so so so important to me. But so are my deadlines. I'm sorry I'm distracted lately. What do you think we should do about this?"

HA! you sound like him to the point that it's creepy. especially...


I'd start feeling like a "convenience" or a "fallback plan".. when in a relationship, I don't do "part-time lover".. I want the whole enchilada, including the garnish and the plate it's served on.


i probably shouldn't have told him some stuff about my needs for space. i expressed to him that the last guy i dated (virgo for about a year), i used to get irritated when he'd ask to come over. like when he called on his way home from work and would say, "i'm coming over and i'll be there in 30 minutes," it really did get under my skin. it's because i wasn't invested in him like that. i AM invested in the pisces so he has no reason to worry about me being detached in that way but i guess now that the seed has been planted, i gotta figure out a way to kill that weed.

and don't worry. i've pretty much identified those members who will post garbage on my threads no matter what i say. it'd be nice to not be followed around though. i mean hell, i dont recall posting on their threads but they invariably are flies on shit when it comes to mine.

i'll be leaving in another hour. i got a 3 hour drive ahead of me...in the rain 😛

You and your damned decans, KP.. like Decans trump everything instead of just being a point for more insight, like one's Moon or Mars. 😛

...if I had to guess, I'd say first decan, since I am. HA! Take that!... cuz this is not the first time she's said I think like him, talk like him, totally creep her out by being so much like him. Either that or he's got some of my major placements (like Pisces Mercury/Rising, Taurus Moon/Mars, Aries Venus) which make me parrot his speech back to her in a woman's voice LOL I'm putting $ 1 on Pisces Mercury! *wink*

Me rikey me decan, sorry to say yours is NOT coorah den mine!

Gonna put $ 1 on that second decan bet?

Watch him be third decan, with none of my placements, and we both owe Tubbz a buck lol

one of you wins a buck!

the house didn't bet so i aint paying nobody 😛

House betting is by default.. so you owe me a dollah, Tubbz. Cough it up!

i didn't say who won. i can give you each 2 bits tho 🙂

i hid the originals because i realized after the fact that i'm as much of an asshole as he is when i'm tired so eh 😛

he wasn't bitching 😛

he made a valid point. i was wasting time on bullshit this past week....namely this website. kinda hard to get pissed at someone basically saying that you should get off the computer.

so he was right but he was ignoring the fact that we do have a lot of quality time.

i think he just hates astrology but then again, it's not like i spend much time talking about astrology.

you're not a very stealthy fish