the Reality Check That We'll Never Connect

Hello Everyone,
It's me Dreamy-eyez. I went to finally see my Capricorn pops after telling him about the frustrating effect he had on me 6 months ago. Judging from how his expression was the whole time, I never got thru to him and the things that frustrated me about him was present but he didn't realize he was doing it. You see, what frustrates me is how he talks to me like as if I'm incompetent with no common sense. For too long he's been doing that. Once, he questioned me on whether or not I knew what a gallon of milk was before he asked me to go to store for him. Also, he was macro-managing me on when to pull money out of my bank account to pay a bill, when I didn't need him to do that for me. What made it even insulting to me was when he told my younger brother and sister to accompany me to the bank by driving me there. Of course they thought it was retarded just like I did. So obviously I left without them because I'm not going to take that. I'm not some kind of handicap. I don't think my father respects me at all. When I was there at his house to talk to him, he had this sarcastic smirk on his face and then asked "Who sent you over here?". Then I thought, "Well, I can make up my own mind, you know." I then sat there in silence because I then knew that we'll never connect. I can live with that, but at the time I was trying to correct it. The way he portrays me in his mind is madeup from his own judgment and I'm sorry that he never gotten a chance to get to know me. I also resent it when he said that "I'll never be half the father he was to me." Well, unlike him if I have kids, I'll be able to connect with them on a up close and personal level to know who they are inside and out. Unlike him. I WONDER HOW DOES HE LIKE THEM APPLES!!!!

Your father is bunch of retarted piece of motherf*ker. I hope that was 6 month ago and you never see him again.

He is a big control freak. I don't care whereither he is father or not, know your place!!

Spoiled brat? I have seen many of such assholes in my life. They are all around. What's wrong with what I say?

It's not the job of the son to teach his father. Don't lead people down the wrong path, Brahn, psychopop is already doing it enough.

Dreamy-Eyez - first of all, I am truly sorry for the pain that you are feeling in regards to your Dad and then again....I am truly very happy for you. Whether you realize it or not at this time, you have been given a gift. I congratulate you for sharing with your dad how you feel by what he has done. The way he chooses to respond has nothing to do with you - you did what you needed to do and that was share your thoughts and feelings (express YOURSELF!) 😉. In all reality, in each moment each one of us is doing the best that we know how and if we could do better we would (including your dad). Your gift in this lesson is understanding the consequences of certain actions because you have had the ability to FEEL from these circumstances. And, with this knowledge you are becoming a better person and will treat others differently.

Your father has issues from his past that he has not delt with and maybe he does not as of yet know how to deal with them or even care to deal with them. As much as you would like for him to change he is unable to for some reason. Hopefully sometime in the future he will make changes for himself however, there are no guarantees. Regardless, this is your life now and you make sure you take care of you. If you can, forgive your dad, accept him for who he is and continue to live your best life. I wish you the best Dreamy-eyez.

To add to all that, sometimes in the absence of a mother figure, a father's expectations from his first daughter will be just as high. And nothing you do will be good enough.

Sup Ya'll,
Dreamy-eyez here. I just want to say "Thank You." Your words were really helpful. As for my father, I'm giving it some time before I go touch on the issue again because it's extremely sensitive. Sometimes I think my pops is more sensitive than I am, because he reacts to things more easily than I am. That's what makes it so tough. I spoke to my Cancer bud, Phil the other day and of course his response to my situation was supportive of family ties. I appreciated how the response was like an opposing calm to my frustration and stress. He's over in Iraq right now. I use to work with him, but I was fortunate to get out of the Army before they went back to Iraq. Besides, I've already been there once, I don't want to go again. I still love my pops, but after being raised by my mom for 18 years without him, it looks like it's going to take some more effort on my part and an equal amount on his part for us to come up with some sort of balance. Thank you all once again. Dreamy-eyez, out.