wanderlust

I am a 21/female Pisces, boyfriend of 5 years is Capricorn age 28. We both love each other VERY much ever so dearly, true love it goes beyond passionate sex or anything 'superficial
We had an open relationship from day 1 until several weeks ago we decided to become monogamous. While our relationship was "open" I had to follow rules and guidlines (no intercourse with anyone unless we both discuss it with eachother 1st) I broke those rules plenty of times(he never broke rules), but most of those times were with this one guy we both met 4 yrs ago. We'd have an encounter about 3 or 4 times a yr some of those times my boyfriend knew about. Since the relationship became monogamous, I hung out with Taurus but it was completely platonic and I made it clear to him that I'm no longer available in "that" department. He wasn't pushy or anything but he made it quite clear that his intention is to pursue me to the fullest extent if I were to ever break up with my boyfriend. Then the next day, my aries girl friend comes over to visit. me her and my bf hang out and I knew exactly what the both of them wanted (they had sex in my presence before) so she asks me if it's ok and he asks me if it's ok. I said it's okay go ahead and have fun so they go at it all night long and all morning I got some action too but not to my satisfaction but that's not the point. I watched them on the bed, it was an intense feeling for me I definitely got off on it. I was jealous, I was suffering but I enjoyed it so much! WHY— (god awful)I couldn't sleep all night I just layed there in bed in the middle with so many thoughts going through my freaking head. But I knew for a fact I had nothing to worry about because there's no way on earth my bf would leave me ever for any1 I got a little bit insecure the next day and emailed my taurus friend (with the intention of wanting to sleep with him despite having already made promises to myself not to "cheat" on my bf. Taurus guy invited me to hang out with him on this week, I haven't replied yet because I'm not sure what to do, we have great passionate sex together and i really do lust for him.


My question here is: Why did I say 'ok' to my friend and bf having sex together? is it because I wanted to justify my reason for lusting after Taurus? if he has sex with her, then it will be ok for me to have sex with him, but my bf would NOT EVER find out about it.

Why am I not more certain about wanting to sleep with Taurus? (in the past, I'd know fo

for sure, but now It feels like I'm afraid something more meaningful might develop with taurus and i'm afraid i might fall for him but theres no way i could ever dump my bf just no way i love him tooo tooo tooo much. It's just that he doesn't seduce me enough and passion runs low sometimes and i seek it elsewhere, but I don't want to keep doing this it is wrong to my bf and it is wrong to myself, or is it wrong to myself to deny myself of this what I call a wanderlust. what should I do? should I go for hot passionate sex with taurus and not tell my bf (which will put me in a place of guilt and shame) or not go for hot passionate sex with taurus and be true to my bf (no hot passsionate sex??!!! argh!) There's no way I could ask him for permission to sleep with Taurus, he would get jealous insecure and it would just hurt him TOO much. I really DON'T want to hurt him at all So please help me, what should I do? I want to see Taurus guy but I'm afraid of the possible mental consequences I might have to deal with after the fact.

our relationship status is currently unknown cuz we haven't discussed it since my bf slept with aries girl but regardless. Thanks so much.

What?


Did you really say that he would never break the rules, and then he did just that with Aries girl, while you watched?


First thing you need to work on is to stop being so gullible.

The face has no value worth holding onto ... everybody has an agenda, even your own agenda about Taurus. See?

So, what his face tells you, you need to look at what is happen in the undercurrents ... because he just broke the rules and you have no awareness of it .. you believe he wouldn't.

Once you begin to "see" what is happening around you with clarity, and stop being naive and gullible .. then all of this would go away, and you'd know, being a Pisces, what you are feeling.

Pisces people KNOW what they feel, what it means .... and the fact that you do not >>>>>> indicator to me that it's time to realize that you're living in The Bubble, exclusively.

I've actually experienced this with all earth-men. Taurus certainly possesses the most passion, since they crave sensuality in a most devouring way ... but, still, their passion doesn't come close enough to match the Fish.

I really don't know any earth-men who possess the kind of passion necessary. Leo's .. omg !!! Or, Aries, hell yes !!!!