What's your opinion?

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Melusine
@Melusine
20 Years500+ Posts

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Hi everyone,
Hope all of you had a nice weekend so far.I have 2 questions for all of you. Everyone's input is welcome.

1. Which one do you prefer :Would you rather be in a relationship where "your
partner loves you but you do not" OR in a relationship "where you love your
partner but he/she does not" (excluding relationships where both are in love)?
2. Do you believe it's true that in every relationship the intensity of one
partner's feelings is always stronger than the other ones (I mean it's not
possible to find someone who'll love you with an equal passion)?
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Melusine
@Melusine
20 Years500+ Posts

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Hi guys,
Thanks for responding.

Almost everyone that I have ever asked the first question to seems to agree with you.They'll choose a relationship where they are not in love but their partner
loves them. Doesn't that seem a bit selfish to you? Like your partner is giving
you something and all you are doing is taking.Wouldn't that be like exploiting
him/her? I have known a lot of people who settle for a man/woman even when they
are not in love with him/her knowing the other person is in love. I think it's the worst type of emotional exploitation...b/c in the end you realize you shouldn't have settled for less than love and you leave that person for someone else.

If the way of loving is different how can you be sure it's equal? Actually there is no way of measuring this equality. It makes us happy to think that we love in an equal fashion...that it's all give and take. But What I see in reality makes me wonder.

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mr.crabby
@mr.crabby
20 Years1,000+ PostsCancer

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I guess that you ignored my comment about respect. Who cares about love, is it all there is? If two people live together and make each other happy, who are you to tell one of them he is selfish? Are you implying the person in love is too weak to leave? That she is a victim?
And how is love "giving"? It's an emotion that you feel inside, there's no giving in loving.
Exploitation? I think i'll ignore that.
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Melusine
@Melusine
20 Years500+ Posts

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hi Branh, so you will love someone more than they love you? Doesn't that make you more vulnerable? I mean even if you say you'll be the first one to leave...in most cases isn't it the other way round?

Mr.Crabby, I didn't ignore your comment about respect.I agree respect is important and no body would be happier than me if everyone felt like you appearently do( refering to "Who cares about love, is it all there is?") but I'm talking about what I see happening around me. People who start a relationship thinking that their mutual respect is enough, after a while decide they are missing something. YES,to me the person in love is the "Victim"...afterall love makes us blind right...it messes with your head ( physiologically) and you fail to see things for what they are. but the other person who is not in love is not incapacitated and should not take advantage of the other person.

So you think loviing a person does not imply giving? interesting.
Maybe if it's not too much trouble you'd like to elaborate?
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Melusine
@Melusine
20 Years500+ Posts

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I guess you are right in a way.I haven't considered the "emotional high" you get when you are with someone you love.So you are getting something in return too.but if you sense somehow your partner is not as enthusiastic about spending time with you as you appearently are...isn't that a turn off? Doesn't that make you feel worse in the end? wishing and hoping for something you know you'll never get.So in the end you are the one who's unhappy b/c you are the one who's vulnerable...you have given your best to someone who takes it all and then walks away.

Oh, this is so depressing. 😢
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Melusine
@Melusine
20 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 857 · Topics: 62
Hey Freebird,

🙂

"How does one measure LOVE? Why even measure it? Hmmm, I thought there were no limits to love. It can be anything. How does one define love?"

Good question. I guess it means different things to different people.But the question of measuring only came up b/c some people said you can love with equal intensity but in different ways.From your answer I gather you believe that we may never know the answer since love can never be measured, am I right?

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kafka
@kafka
20 YearsScorpio

Comments: 0 · Posts: 390 · Topics: 13
1. Which one do you prefer :Would you rather be in a relationship where "your
partner loves you but you do not" OR in a relationship "where you love your
partner but he/she does not" (excluding relationships where both are in love)?
I'VE BEEN IN THE FORMER SITUATION, WHERE I WAS LOVED MORE THAN I LOVED, AND ALSO PAINFULLY IN THE ONE I LOVED MORE THAN I WAS LOVED. BOTH SUCKED IN THEIR OWN WAYS. I'M NOT SELF-ABSORBED ENOUGH TO NOT CARE THAT I'M HURTING SOMEONE ELSE, NOR SO UNAWARE.
2. Do you believe it's true that in every relationship the intensity of one
partner's feelings is always stronger than the other ones (I mean it's not
possible to find someone who'll love you with an equal passion)? I DO BELIEVE THAT TO BE TRUE. YOU CAN FIND A CLOSE BALANCE. BUT HERE'S THE DEAL: THOSE SYNAMICS CHANGE AND THEY HAVE TO. AT THE BEGINNING, YOU CAN BE THE ONE CHASING THE PARTNER, THEN ACTUALLY THAT MAY TURN AROUND 180 DEGREES. IN A NORMAL LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP, THAT WILL HAPPEN. NOTHING'S EVER "EQUAL" AND STATIC. THINGS CHANGE ALL THE TIME.


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BJ
@BJ
20 YearsPisces

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I reckon most long term relationships see-saw at times, where one person will be feeling it a bit more than the other. There's even times in the middle where it may be pure bliss for the both of you.

But I reckon if it tends to sway one way for long periods of time then that can't be fun for anyone involved which would mean the relationship probably needs a bit of work.