Aries Venus and forgiveness?

what are the chances of a Venus in Aries forgiving you for being a dumb broad and making a mistake purely out of just trying to be agreeable and friendly, but totally fucking up in the process..

basically....I fucked up and I'm aware. but I didn't mean it in the way that it was taken. it's a complicated situation. and I'm so passive...Libra ascendant. I didn't know how to avoid the situation.

he also has a cap moon and ascendant 😢 but Aries Venus and Sag Mars.

basically I just want to be sad and have a small Ray of hope but it's ok if there's not. it's my own fault realistically

I feel like such a sappy bitch rn. it's so pathetic that I care this much but I've been obsessing over my mistake. I made a weak apology a day after. I haven't been in contact since. I've done a lot to show I do genuinely care to the excess. it's just not fair! he can make mistakes but I can't. it's just not fair

-insert whiny bitch here aka me-

ITS SO EMBARASSING BECAUSE I KNOW IM AN IDIOT. ok I'll explain but it'll be long.... so give me a minute. and let the passive-aggressiveness unleash from my tale

basically I am not official with this guy to be clear. he's kind of the non commitment of the wind type. ok there's that.

he danced with this girl at the club after a year of us talking so I hit him (only time I wasn't passive in my life lol- couldn't help it). he lashed out saying I have no right to be jealous because we aren't dating. ok. fast forward to the now.

I bought him the new galaxy s7 edge with my upgrade and also took out a 2k personal loan to help him get a car. I am blind in love I just want to give and be selfless. and I like him so much and have since 2013. he's been such a great friend and I just like him. ok anyways.

SO. last summer I deleted him on Facebook because I thought I was gonna cut it off because he was being condescending to me at the bar and I was like "this is the end" and I left and cried and he followed me home so basically I deleted him for no reason...and I don't think he ever noticed.... so I finally decided to readd him since things have been going REALLY well. given his personality and typically closed off behavior. I was his emotional safe haven I feel like. so....as soon as I added him....the texts halted. literally. halted. I know he's mad about it and thinks I'm childish. and I am. so there's that. I can't help it!!!! I have temper tantrums. me and my first house stellium are all about me and my attention!!

so... he was supposed to get me from the airport and he kept ignoring my texts until I said "ok I'll get another ride then" and he's like "will you shut up I'm already almost there". and I had only texted him twice... twice ok. the first one was just "are you almost here". so he's also passive aggressive. great pair right. anyways...his friend was with him when he picked me up.

so my guy was basically ignoring me. cool. so I made conversation with his friend. I'm not gonna sit there in silence plus I want his friends to like me! but keep in mind I'm not allowed to declare how I'm seeing this guy or else he gets mad. remember. not dating. so his friend is totally oblivious to this. I mean you'd think he'd say something about liking me. he picked me up from the airport which is over an hour away from us so....whatever.

you know where this is going.....

so me and his friend were talking about how I'm going to be a bartender and how I'm looking for jobs. so he goes "you got a number" and mentally I'm thinking in a totally naive and ignorant way, so I'm like "well...yeah I got a number it's 2016 and I'm ready to work!" and he HANDS ME HIS PHONE.

oh my fucking God. I knew it was the end. I was in too deep. I couldn't be a bitch to his friend. and I couldn't say "I'm talking to ___" because he'd get mad at that too. my mind had NO answers at the time. I literally could've thought of ANYTHING but I was too appalled and scared to be a bitch to his friend. oh my god I feel like a fucking idiot. HE HAD A KID. I was NOT interested. he has no goals. I did NOT want him. omfg. I'm so di

distressed over this*

I just did it. then awhile later my guy lashed out at his friend randomly about smoking a cigarette in his car saying "you're gonna make yourself look dumb if you ash in this car. stop fucking trying. you look dumb" totally random and his friend was ashing out the window.

then when we got back to my house I tried quietly making conversation with my guy and he was polite at first but distant and I could feel his upset disturbance within. and then I tried conversing again and he said "can you please just get the fuck out of my car"

I lashed back and said he doesn't have to be so mean all the time and asked what his problem was (duh). I feel so upset. with myself. it's all my fault. I don't want him to hate me. I should've thought of something clever to say. I felt trapped. I couldn't say "hey that's my guy right there" because technically he's not and he would've disowned me if I did say that.

I am sensitive to his slow moving into relationships. he introduces me as his girlfriend to strangers but not so much to people we know. I don't know how to explain it. but I am very sad anyways.

@Imarollin @Taureye

I know I feel stupid. I really do. as a side note. but I just idk.

I know I'm fucking blind in love. I can't even help it and then I get immersed in it. I do know I'm an idiot. but I partially feel guilty for giving his friend my number. that was such disrespect. I feel like a horrible person. I just want to show him kindness and love.

omfg I sound so pathetic. I know. I'm not even going to hide this topic. lol. I just don't care. I know it's pathetic and stupid. I just really did basically...idk I really cared for him. saying love sounds so intense but I feel that way. I just dive into things headfirst and don't think about them.

I feel so sad. I just liked everything about him despite his emotional closed off behavior. he was really opening up and changing and I feel like I made everything go backwards. I know the blame isn't really all mine externally but internally I do blame myself.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Koniucha
I don't get what you are asking forgiveness for. He sort of sounds like a jerk.

I agree n he is not ur guy. So u have done nothing wrong

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😢

Posted by Imarollin
What's your definition of "idiot?"

I see what I find to be idiotic and what you believe to be idiotic. They do not match.

haha I am my worst critic. I think a lot of the things I did were idiotic. my move in his car, me tolerating him treating me that way. I was senseless, oblivious, unknowing yet knowing. maybe that's a better word for me. I just followed him blindly like a puppy.

I didn't like everything to be so private but at first really nothing was happening anyways. I thought as time progressed he would be more open. I have too high of hopes and become quite delusional to reality in cases of the heart

Posted by Imarollin
What's your moon and Venus and what house? If you don't mind answering.

I am a Scorp Venus, yes. in the First house. I'm a Libra ascendant. Venus conjunct Jupiter, ascendant, Mercury. for what it's worth.

my moon is semi-square Venus. I have a Virgo moon in the 11th house. it is conjunct Chiron.

he does have redeeming qualities. we've progressed quite a bit. I felt as though we were close to really coming together however. he was more open with me, we hung out more often and he'd drive around with me, go eat, buy me food. just basic things. it sounds like nothing but it took him a lot to open up.

I feel like he suffered a lot emotionally in his youth (he told me some issues with his mother). he has moon sq. Venus, moon conjunct Saturn, venus sq. Neptune, Venus sq. Saturn, Venus sq. Uranus. the only positive emotional contact he has is moon sextile Pluto.

not saying that's an excuse for him, but sometimes I do feel sorry for him because when you speak to him you can tell he's not really being....him. he has a barrier up. I wanted him to know its not bad to be himself and That I accepted him for him. idk. overall it is slightly a mess. lol... sometimes I've always felt his harshness was kind of a defense mechanism. even before I knew about astrology. we have been friends for quite some time.

Posted by Imarollin
So you are playing victim for him?

hmmm.... idk what I'm doing. I think secretly I wanted to "fix" him and his insecurities. I wanted him to finally be able to feel safe. idk I wanted to be the one that could make him see the world differently. it was very clouded thinking

Posted by Imarollin

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Imarollin
So you are playing victim for him?

hmmm.... idk what I'm doing. I think secretly I wanted to "fix" him and his insecurities. I wanted him to finally be able to feel safe. idk I wanted to be the one that could make him see the world differently. it was very clouded thinking

You're being self centered too. It's not about what you can do for him. It's about who he is

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I know.. you are right 😢

but I always got the sense he was basically "putting on a show". he wants to be a drug dealer (side info). and I mean if you KNEW him, you'd know that's not really....him. it's hard to explain, but I see what you're saying too. it's complicated.

and overall I do know I screwed up. I had blind judgment. I just really liked him I guess. I considered him a good friend to me (prior to this obviously).

yes. idk. I like finding odd characters. I don't think it's intentional or deliberate, but the more I evaluate myself the more I see this constant wanting to "help" or "save" them. I think I only was talking to one guy who didn't need to be helped really. he was a Libra. now I'm back to my old route. it's so annoying. I despise my naive judgment. I am blind. I am naive. I just don't know how to be more discerning. I mean...I DO know....but I refuse to believe it. I find ways to still have hope where there is none. it is a fault, but I am still content with myself. I suppose it's just something I have to work on. matters of the heart only cause me pain. I can be resilient in other areas of life but just not in love.

You claim you like this guy yet you allowed another man to get your number?? His FUCKING FRIEND no less.


Girl, DAB.

I agree with what everyone is saying. Homeboy sounds like a grade A piece of dog shit.

What is his sign?. The guy that you like?

You and I'm curious why the fuck you couldn't you sit there by yourself and be quiet. Ask him to put some music on and chill the fuck out. Maybe he was uncomfortable talking to you in front of his friend? There's so many reasons why he could have been quiet.

Posted by Magenta_Azure
You claim you like this guy yet you allowed another man to get your number?? His FUCKING FRIEND no less.


Girl, DAB.

I know.... I know I know. I didn't really know how to be assertive and be like "no I can't". it almost felt like I was locked into it. I'm pretty passive and it was really stupid.

Posted by Magenta_Azure
You and I'm curious why the fuck you couldn't you sit there by yourself and be quiet. Ask him to put some music on and chill the fuck out. Maybe he was uncomfortable talking to you in front of his friend? There's so many reasons why he could have been quiet.

idk. I guess I like conversation.

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Magenta_Azure
You claim you like this guy yet you allowed another man to get your number?? His FUCKING FRIEND no less.


Girl, DAB.

I know.... I know I know. I didn't really know how to be assertive and be like "no I can't". it almost felt like I was locked into it. I'm pretty passive and it was really stupid.

click to expand

Regardless. I literally can't even wrap my head around that. I'm gunna try to be nice, but what the actual fuck. Imagine you're having a bad day n you have to pick up your homie from the gym. You bring your homegirl along to talk about what's on your mind as you make the trip to the gym.

You finally arrive to the gym n still can't shake this fucked up attitude you have about what's going on, so you don't speak. Admittedly it is very disrespectful, but you have a lot on your mind. Your home girl starts chatting up your friend and manages to get his number. So on top of having a fucked up day, the person you've been dealing with for over a year gives his number to your home girl because:


*clears throat*




Waaaaaaaahhhh I'm really passive waasaaaaahhhh


Come on, dawg

I'm just assuming he had a bad day, he could be a fuck nigga. Idk.

Posted by Magenta_Azure

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Magenta_Azure
You claim you like this guy yet you allowed another man to get your number?? His FUCKING FRIEND no less.


Girl, DAB.

I know.... I know I know. I didn't really know how to be assertive and be like "no I can't". it almost felt like I was locked into it. I'm pretty passive and it was really stupid.

Regardless. I literally can't even wrap my head around that. I'm gunna try to be nice, but what the actual fuck. Imagine you're having a bad day n you have to pick up your homie from the gym. You bring your homegirl along to talk about what's on your mind as you make the trip to the gym.

You finally arrive to the gym n still can't shake this fucked up attitude you have about what's going on, so you don't speak. Admittedly it is very disrespectful, but you have a lot on your mind. Your home girl starts chatting up your friend and manages to get his number. So on top of having a fucked up day, the person you've been dealing with for over a year gives his number to your home girl because:


*clears throat*




Waaaaaaaahhhh I'm really passive waasaaaaahhhh


Come on, dawg

click to expand

if you had my personality you would understand. I already feel like an idiot. so thanks.

Posted by Fox
I don't think this will work.

yeah, I know

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Magenta_Azure

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Magenta_Azure
You claim you like this guy yet you allowed another man to get your number?? His FUCKING FRIEND no less.


Girl, DAB.

I know.... I know I know. I didn't really know how to be assertive and be like "no I can't". it almost felt like I was locked into it. I'm pretty passive and it was really stupid.

Regardless. I literally can't even wrap my head around that. I'm gunna try to be nice, but what the actual fuck. Imagine you're having a bad day n you have to pick up your homie from the gym. You bring your homegirl along to talk about what's on your mind as you make the trip to the gym.

You finally arrive to the gym n still can't shake this fucked up attitude you have about what's going on, so you don't speak. Admittedly it is very disrespectful, but you have a lot on your mind. Your home girl starts chatting up your friend and manages to get his number. So on top of having a fucked up day, the person you've been dealing with for over a year gives his number to your home girl because:


*clears throat*




Waaaaaaaahhhh I'm really passive waasaaaaahhhh


Come on, dawg

if you had my personality you would understand. I already feel like an idiot. so thanks.

click to expand

You should. That's some straight hoe shit. And I rarely use that word because it's shameful and disgusting. But I just can't. Do you even care to realize how big of a deal that is—

What's his sign tho—

Posted by Magenta_Azure

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Magenta_Azure

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Magenta_Azure
You claim you like this guy yet you allowed another man to get your number?? His FUCKING FRIEND no less.


Girl, DAB.

I know.... I know I know. I didn't really know how to be assertive and be like "no I can't". it almost felt like I was locked into it. I'm pretty passive and it was really stupid.

Regardless. I literally can't even wrap my head around that. I'm gunna try to be nice, but what the actual fuck. Imagine you're having a bad day n you have to pick up your homie from the gym. You bring your homegirl along to talk about what's on your mind as you make the trip to the gym.

You finally arrive to the gym n still can't shake this fucked up attitude you have about what's going on, so you don't speak. Admittedly it is very disrespectful, but you have a lot on your mind. Your home girl starts chatting up your friend and manages to get his number. So on top of having a fucked up day, the person you've been dealing with for over a year gives his number to your home girl because:


*clears throat*




Waaaaaaaahhhh I'm really passive waasaaaaahhhh


Come on, dawg

if you had my personality you would understand. I already feel like an idiot. so thanks.

You should. That's some straight hoe shit. And I rarely use that word because it's shameful and disgusting. But I just can't. Do you even care to realize how big of a deal that is—

click to expand

YES THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT. I FEEL FUCKING HORRIBLE OVER IT. THATS THE WHOLE POINT.

I KNOW ITS MY FAULT. I ALREADY GET THAT. I CANT CHANGE IT. ITS FUCKING OVER AND DONE WITH. I DIDNT EVEN LIKE HIS FRIENDS PERSONALITY I WAS JUST BEING NICE AND DIDNT REALIZE HE WAS GONNA HAND ME HIS FUCKING PHONE. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BARTENDING JOBS. I THOUGHT HE WAS REFERENCING SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT UNTIL HE PUT THE PHONE IN MY FACE. THEN WHAT? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? IF I SAID "Hey I'm talking to ___". he would've FLIPPED and dismissed me! because we weren't dating and would've gotten mad if I said we were!!!

Posted by Fox
i don't like to be blunt either, so i think i can relate in that sense. your intent wasn't bad.

yeah I didn't want to hurt his friends feelings at that point. but I didn't want to make the guy I was talking to mad either. I don't know. I have this dichotomy inside. I want to please everyone. I don't like to hurt or offend people. it was spur of the moment and I didn't really have time to think or Come up with a better response. I felt my heart drop. I didn't know what to do. I mean I know it's obvious what to do, but everyone is programmed different and I'm a stupid bitch who doesn't know how to say no. I definitely get that. I mean I'm not denying it. it was fucking stupid. and I feel horrible for it, but sadly I can't rewind time. so I have to move forward

Also his friend is a bitch for doing that.

Posted by wxyx33
What is your sun sign?

Why are you acting SO similar (95% ) to a scorpio girl that I know of?

*rolls eyes* I'm not acting like your weird friend who starts throwing backpacks around acting like a 2 year old.

Posted by Impulsv
I was going to say why would u want to date man whose goal wants to be a drug dealer?

I don't know. the edge to him is interesting. he's getting his degree, so I almost feel like the drug dealer thing is a phase he uses to impress his friends. he has a totally different personality that he keeps buried. he wants to be the tough guy, but he's a soft, nice guy underneath. I guess that what kept me interested

Posted by Taureye
First off you got him a real expensive phone AND you gave him a 2k loan for a car......that's a no no. Doesnt matter how much you like him or even love him, the fact that he's so noncommittal after all of that should really be a big ass red flag. And he's passive aggressive just like you, that's honestly one of the worst pairings i can think of. It will lead to other shit like infidelity down the line. He seems like a guy who wants his cake and eat it too. I just don't like this situation at all. I have an aries in venus, and i am far from passive aggressive. And to take all of that from someone who cares for you and to treat him like that?! It's like he's taking advantage of the situation. I really don't like this situation you're in with him. He'll come around and it has nothing to do with his charts. I hope you don't get super played in the end.

lol i would do the same thing, but i wouldnt take out a loan for him. Loans want INTEREST.

but i would work and save and with my earnings, give him the money, with NO payback or interest.

and i would buy the Phone, but i would look for a more affordable, economical Phone but one that is decent of course, not cheap looking or crappy.


anyway i was with an aries venus/sag mars man in the past, my last ex. and he was super GENEROUS with me too, we both are.

of course, currently i'm with my man and we're both GENEROUS peeps in our own way.

generous peeps usually get together, but we're also frugal in our own way too. i look for bargains, and sales,

and he does too, but not to my extent. lol


but yeah, he is NON committal (OP's guy)

at least with my ex, we moved in together, and made it official boyfriend and girlfriend back then.

lol@ OP. You're a 1st houser like me. Interesting you got with a aries venus/sag mars too!!!
except i'm not a 7th houser or libra rising, so we're slightly different in that way too.
EDIT - although i've been here awhile and been saying left and right my ex's all were aries dominant/aries venus peeps. So while i got further in my journey into astrology it's NOT a wonder that i'm a dominant 1st houser. I love astrology that way!!! so CONSISTENT.

Posted by lisabethur8
lol@ OP. You're a 1st houser like me. Interesting you got with a aries venus/sag mars too!!!
except i'm not a 7th houser or libra rising, so we're slightly different in that way too.
EDIT - although i've been here awhile and been saying left and right my ex's all were aries dominant/aries venus peeps. So while i got further in my journey into astrology it's NOT a wonder that i'm a dominant 1st houser. I love astrology that way!!! so CONSISTENT.

that is interesting! is your husband carrying some Aries traits as well?

yes I know- sigh. it's my Venus conjunct Jupiter. I do everything in excess (the 2K loan) for people I care for even if they don't deserve it! I will say he never said he didn't want to date me how some guys are like "I don't want a relationship". BUT he also never said he wanted to work towards one. and then he'd always say "well we're not dating" or "you're not my girlfriend" when I'd get mad at him disrespecting me or flirting with others! I tried to be rational and say "well I wouldn't do that to you" and then here I went!! screwing it up!!! he has a lot of Capricorn in him too so I know he's gonna hold a grudge. he won't even speak to me. sigh. he'll come back I think but idk. I screwed up and the guilt is so real. I know I should move on, but he was so alluring in more ways than one!! 😢

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by lisabethur8
lol@ OP. You're a 1st houser like me. Interesting you got with a aries venus/sag mars too!!!
except i'm not a 7th houser or libra rising, so we're slightly different in that way too.
EDIT - although i've been here awhile and been saying left and right my ex's all were aries dominant/aries venus peeps. So while i got further in my journey into astrology it's NOT a wonder that i'm a dominant 1st houser. I love astrology that way!!! so CONSISTENT.

that is interesting! is your husband carrying some Aries traits as well?

yes I know- sigh. it's my Venus conjunct Jupiter. I do everything in excess (the 2K loan) for people I care for even if they don't deserve it! I will say he never said he didn't want to date me how some guys are like "I don't want a relationship". BUT he also never said he wanted to work towards one. and then he'd always say "well we're not dating" or "you're not my girlfriend" when I'd get mad at him disrespecting me or flirting with others! I tried to be rational and say "well I wouldn't do that to you" and then here I went!! screwing it up!!! he has a lot of Capricorn in him too so I know he's gonna hold a grudge. he won't even speak to me. sigh. he'll come back I think but idk. I screwed up and the guilt is so real. I know I should move on, but he was so alluring in more ways than one!! 😢

I have Venus conjunct Jupiter too and can be that way towards my loved ones too. I do also have Saturn part of that threesome, so it probably helps me know when it is too much.

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oh really?! yes my Saturn has hard aspects to my sun and Mars but luckily Saturn trines my Jupiter and Venus, so it's still an easy aspect, but I'm still too...naive. lol. and excessive. idk what's wrong with me honestly. it might even be my Aries descendant playing a role too. I just dive in whole-heartedly to relations with guys if I like them. it's really.....irrational lol. just passion and craziness

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by lisabethur8
lol@ OP. You're a 1st houser like me. Interesting you got with a aries venus/sag mars too!!!
except i'm not a 7th houser or libra rising, so we're slightly different in that way too.
EDIT - although i've been here awhile and been saying left and right my ex's all were aries dominant/aries venus peeps. So while i got further in my journey into astrology it's NOT a wonder that i'm a dominant 1st houser. I love astrology that way!!! so CONSISTENT.

that is interesting! is your husband carrying some Aries traits as well?

yes I know- sigh. it's my Venus conjunct Jupiter. I do everything in excess (the 2K loan) for people I care for even if they don't deserve it! I will say he never said he didn't want to date me how some guys are like "I don't want a relationship". BUT he also never said he wanted to work towards one. and then he'd always say "well we're not dating" or "you're not my girlfriend" when I'd get mad at him disrespecting me or flirting with others! I tried to be rational and say "well I wouldn't do that to you" and then here I went!! screwing it up!!! he has a lot of Capricorn in him too so I know he's gonna hold a grudge. he won't even speak to me. sigh. he'll come back I think but idk. I screwed up and the guilt is so real. I know I should move on, but he was so alluring in more ways than one!! 😢

click to expand

yes i would say so, he has aqua in the 1st, and Scorpio of course -- that is mars energy as well.