confused sag man lost a taurus girl

Don't even know where to begin. I'm 28, she's 20, the age difference did bother, while everyone else seemed ok with it. I worked in the same building as this taurus girl, she is beautiful but i never paid her mind cuz she was involved at the time. Anyway, as time went by, i noticed her staring when i spoke to other girls in her presence. She was going tru a rough period(boyfriend cheated on her multiple times, she stayed with him). As far as i could tell during our interactions, she still loved him, so i kept my distance. All of a sudden, she starts using future tense with me and tell me she cut him off completely. I was skeptical of this that she could move on so quickly so i was cautious. I asked her if this is what she really wanted, she said yes.

So we continued, she got physical with me very quickly, again i was cautious but i started to like her too so i reciprocated. (honey moon phase). She texted me alot saying she loved me and missed me and stuff(after two weeks?). People at work told me she falls out of love as quickly as she falls into it. Things went well for awhile, i bought her a rose and had it delivered to her. Told me she wanted to be my wife and have my baby but i just couldn't believe her, she was moving too fast. People at work were persecuting her not me the whole time and for the life of me i never understood. Nobody is perfect i'm not perfect either. I tried to shield her from them but to no avail, she stayed with me for 3 months until the 24th of sept. she got distant, stop calling, texting, didn't want to speak to me, even told me to leave her alone at one point.

I should mention that on the 21st, i made her a simple dinner, picked her up after work, carried her on a look out overlooking the city, we spoke for awhile about her family and then we made out for awhile, she told me: "don't do anything behind her back", that was the last real thing she said to me. i told her i'm not capable of cheating. i assume she told me cuz of her last relationship, so i understood. I did all i could to find out what was wrong because i know how she keeps things pent up and that's not healthy. To no avail, i could not keep her, before i knew it she was with someone else. I'm still wondering if she just lost interest or she hated the gossip. I honestly want her back but knowing her personality am guessing it's already too late once she's bonded with the new person and the more i fight for her the worse it will get. should i give up?

I don't know, i do want her back because we got along well, i saw something in her that was unique but if she keeps this up she'll get hurt and i won't be there for her. Even after what she did i still can't find it in me to hate her, i just broke contact. Are you willing to elaborate on what you mean by immature? I think she's looking for something in relationships but doesn't know what it is? Maybe i tried to protect her too much. The break up is fresh so my mind is swirling, sorry.

You didn't believe in her, didn't trust her.. yet you wanted exactly that from her? You didn't believe in her, or trust her.. yet you wanted her WHY?? Or did you suddenly realize how much you wanted her after she got tired of not feeling good enough, and walked away?

That gets old fast, knowing your guy doesn't believe a damn thing you say, while you're offering up your heart to him. You get tired of jumping through hoops just to prove yourself to him, while he's just listening to a bunch of negative gossip that's driving a wedge between you two. Smart girls cut their losses there, instead of investing more time and energy into what feels like a losing proposition.

:c

She's 20, you both are in 2 different stages in your lives. Plus you were warned! "People at work told me she falls out of love as quickly as she falls into it" she fell out of love just as predicted.

Posted by confusedsagman

I'm 28, she's 20, the age difference did bother, while everyone else seemed ok with it.

Who's everyone else? So, you base a woman worthy of a relationship with you contingent upon everyone else approving of her?

Seriously .... I want to know about this ... while everyone else seemed ok

Was this whatever-you-had-with-her for show? .. to everyone else?

Posted by confusedsagman

... i never paid her mind cuz she was involved at the time.

All of a sudden, she starts using future tense with me and tell me she cut him off completely.

I hate it when people talk out of their ass. We all know full well that you lied when you said, "i never paid her mind" .. because as soon as it started going south with her man, she came straight to you, to manipulat you and the reason why she knew you were easy prey is because you were paying attention to her.

Serioulsy ..... wtf? You think people can't read between the lines? Or is it just you're too ignorant to know that there is a whole forest?

Posted by confusedsagman

People at work told me she falls out of love as quickly as she falls into it.

People at work were persecuting her not me the whole time and for the life of me i never understood.

You never understood? Are you seriously that naive and gullible?

What did you think they were warning you for?

It just boggles my mind that you could be that stupid. I mean, seriously .. is anyone really that dumb?

Posted by confusedsagman

I tried to shield her from them but to no avail, she stayed with me for 3 months until the 24th of sept. she got distant, stop calling, texting, didn't want to speak to me, even told me to leave her alone at one point.

click to expand

Shield her?

wtf?

So, let me get this straight .. she's an OBVIOUS player and if/when people call her out on it, you think that just because you have little feelings for her that it must mean that she doesn't have to hold herself accountible for fucking with men's heads, and you want to enable her from having any responsibility for hurting men?

let me guess ... she did the same thing to you and now you're sad 😢 ... because y

.... because you never saw it coming and now you want people to feel sorry for you and help you, eventhough ...


they FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN

Clearly being 28 doesn't mean a person has common or emotional sense

I did trust her and believe in her, i gave her the benefit of the doubt. I was capable of settling with her if she proved she was ready. I genuinely had to get her side of the story. What i wondered was if what she was feeling was real. So you're saying i should take them at their word when they had no proof. Though i could prove what she said about her ex boyfriend cheating was true. If the subject in question was one of you how would you feel if people said that about you?

I do not play with people's emotions, especially not hers. Her uncle had just been killed days before her birthday! I couldn't honestly tell her i loved her so early or marry her until i felt that because we were moving too fast. As far as i know no normal person can settle so fast. Have any of you ever fallen in love in two weeks? As for our age, the only thing that bothered me was that we were as one of you said in two stages of life.
The relationship was never for show but she insisted on showing it off, i did not like us being in the public eye because i knew she'd keep getting attacked, i wanted her to keep it quiet but she refused out of spite for the aggressor.

I told her they would attack her if we pursued this. She wanted to move way too fast, i admit i paid attention to the way she reacted when i spoke to other girls before we started talking but i knew she was with someone else so i stayed away. The "they" would be some of the elder persons at work who seems to know everyone's business. As for jumping through hoops, she never had to do any of that because i made sure to be there for her when she was sick, down, depressed. I took what they said about her under advisement, even told them to back off and to keep honesty in the relationship i told her what they were saying. Was i wrong to do this too then?

Are you also saying that i should have distrusted her, even though her mother and her grandmother vouched for her? They were also happy how we got along, her mother said it herself she is very particular because she did not like any of her boyfriends until me. Regardless, at the end of the day she chooses who she wants to be with not her family, i got what i deserved for trusting too much NOT for lack of not trusting....

Posted by confusedsagman

So you're saying i should take them at their word when they had no proof.

Take her according to her actions, which is .... the moment she dropped her boyfriend, she was on your ass, that is until she tired of you and then moved onto another.


meanwhile, you could always find an internet forum to cry about how you were completely taken by surprised and dropped without any warning or notice and how sad that is for you.

Considering that she dumped you ... they were correct.


But, by all means .... continue to defend her and make them out to be the bad guys, because the messengers are always wrong, while the person who actually commits the injury always only does it because they didn't have a protector who worked good enough to shield them.


Don't let me stop you from being stupidly oblivious ... by all means, continue to defend her, and continue to blame it all on the people who were right, but, you didn't like that because you didn't want them to be.