help please

I have a friend at work who is causing me some confusion. I've always only ever thought of him as a friend and I'm not sure when those feelings changed to something more.He is with someone though.He's a scorpio and I'm a pisces.We've worked together for a year but we never really socialized with each other until a few months ago.We went out in a group drinking and ever since then we've gotten closer.One day I was teasing him about not greeting me properly and he said "what do you want a hug and a kiss" which I said yes to. So when he got up to leave he looked at me and said "you coming?"And ever since then we would hug everyday whenever we saw each other.I've loved his hugs since day one.I'm not sure why but whenever he hugs me no matter how terrible a day I'm having I'm just instantly okay.I feel incredibly safe and comfortable and content.I've never felt that way with anyone not even guys I've dated.He would always play with my hair and poke me and always just found ways to mess with me.Lately though he has been distant.He stopped coming by every morning to give me a hug.I should mention that I changed my shift a while ago,I'm now on third and he's on first.I've had to start going out of my way to look for him just to give him a hug.Our hugs feel different.They seem, I'm not sure how to explain it really they are just,distant.I can feel a difference when he hugs me.It's the same but different.He'll also stare at me from a distance.Just constantly stare and if I look at him he'll stare a bit longer and then slightly look somewhere else.So after two weeks of this uncomfortable distance between us I've stopped going to find him in the mornings.If he doesn't come by to say hi then neither do I.He stares though, but now I just act as though I don't notice and keep going about my business.Three days ago though he stood fairly close by and just watched me for quite a while.I tried ignoring him but he just stood there with a blank expression on his face so I looked at him for a few seconds and then went about my business.The next day I was waiting to punch out, resting my head on a bin when he came up to me and started stroking my hair (like really grabbing some and just stroking it) when someone started talking to him and he just kept stroking my hair as he talked.Then when I tried to get past him to punch out he grabbed me by the shoulders and hugged me tight. And he watched me punch out.There's a bit more but I'm limited.Any thoughts or comments please.

Posted by dontgetmewrong
I hope one day the man you love and his trick treats you the same way.

Right. Thanks for the amazing input. Pretty sure I've done nothing wrong. That I have feelings for him aside (because I am human and would never do anything to hurt someone's feelings in that way) not a single inappropriate thing has happened. We are friends. I don't want to lose the friendship so I wanted to know what could be going on and why he's changed. But I guess wanting to be friends with someone is a sin. Seeing as how he's taken and all. Guess I should stop being friends with all the other guys I know since it makes me a, what was it? Oh yea, a trick. Thanks.

Posted by dontgetmewrong
Yes to a hug and a kiss..ya, you're a trick. No matter how you want to twist it.

I hug and kiss my parents, my sister's, my aunt's/uncles, nieces, nephews, pretty much all of my friends.
Yep. Huge trick I guess. Here I thought it was just a part of my culture to hug and kiss friends and family but okay.
I probably should have specified that it was a kiss on the cheek and that is my mistake but I didn't realize someone would just automatically assume on the lips since I was talking about a friend greeting a friend.

It's the Pisces-Scorpio connection.

Posted by Damnata
It's the Pisces-Scorpio connection.

Could you please explain that? I've tried to find more information but most of the scorpio- pisces things I find are for romantically involved people and we are just friends. I'm sorry if that's irritating.

Posted by dontgetmewrong
This isn't your family or platonic friends...it's someone youre crushing on amd have feelings for who happens to have a girlfriend. Have some respect!! Tricks dont have respect.

So I should ruin a perfectly good friendship because of my one sided feelings? That makes perfect sense. So many people in this world are in the wrong then. Being friends with someone they have stronger feelings for and who also happen to be taken.
There is nothing disrespectful in anything I've done. But seeing as how you're very much set in your mindset of calling me and others who are in my position tricks, I'l leave you to that. Thanks again for replying though. It's always good to hear different opinions.

Posted by ellle
Empathy.

Can you put yourself in the other person's shoes for a moment.....

What if this was your boyfriend and a woman at work asked him for a hug and a kiss and was openly pining for him?

Would you see this as her only wanting to be his friend?

How would that make you feel?

I do empathize. I have been in that position more than once actually. Which is why I would never do anything to disrespect the relationship.
I don't see my having feelings for him as a terrible thing, more of a nuisance really since I only ever intended to be friends and nothing more. And as far as I'm concerned it is all it will ever be.
But I am an affectionate person by nature. And I'm really not just saying that. It's how I've always been. And if I only change how I am with him but not everyone else at work won't it make the situation worse? Worse wouldn't I loose a friend? I'm really not trying to be difficult. I'm sorryn

Posted by ellle
You are not empathizing, you are defending yourself, and you have already disrespected the friendship by making the boundaries wavy.

The fact you've already been in this position (as the girlfriend) tells me that you may have some issues regarding that that you haven't resolved. Does it make you feel special that you have a connection with a taken man? I mean, what do you gain from this?

Are you affectionate with everyone you work with or just him?

Is it really okay to be hugging and possibly kissing (even on the cheek) in a work environment?

I'm affectionate with literally everyone at my job. Even my boss. It's honestly just the way I am.

How have I made them wavy? By developing feelings for him? It was not intentionally done. And I'm concisely trying to get over them.
I doesn't make me feel special, it was just nice to have a friend who I didn't have to explain much to because he already understood what I was saying. It was nice because it was the first time I've had a friendship like that with someone whom I didn't grow up with.
As for what a gained, a friend. Or so I thought. I didn't think it was such a terrible thing.
And as for if it's okay, It's how we all greet each other really. We're all Hispanic and it's just ... i don't know. It's just customary.

I'm asking about him because he's the only one who's changed. Everyone else is the same. Had it been any of my other friends who changed out of the blue I would have asked about them because I would be just as confused as to why a friend would change with another out of the blue. I don't need anyone to condone what I do because I am my own person. I wrote it with that much detail because I wanted to be honest in order to get honest input from someone who could understand that having feelings for someone doesn't limit you to only wanting one thing from them. If I wanted something more I would just say so because I have no reason to hide my intentions with a bunch of strangers. I wanted to know why a friend has turned distant. I said he was taken so that anyone who thought it was just about getting the guy would hopefully understand that that wasn't the goal. But some input as to why a guy would stop being his usual self with a girl.
I apologize though. Clearly, that was too much to ask for.