Please help! Cancer-Pisces Compatibility!

Hi,

I met this amazing Pisces guy back in April in California. We were both their for a training class for our organization. We work for the same organization but in different cities. This was a four day class. On the first day he asked for my number and I gave it to him. He said he would call me to see if I had plans for dinner. When he texted me that afternoon, I had already made dinner plans with other people in our class and invited him to come. He came and we ate lunch and dinner like that until the last day of our training class. On Thursday night (the last night), he texted me that he was in the lobby having a drink. I replied back that if it was okay I would like to join him. He said "YES!!" So I met him downstairs and we talked casually. The next morning I flew back to Georgia and he flew back to New York and we've been texting, FaceTime, calling each other ever since. My background is I just got divorced (was separated two years prior to my divorce) and he was married before and has been divorced for a year and a half. He came to visit me last month and spent the entire weekend with me. We were intimate and we still continue to talk. I plan to visit him next month to spend a weekend with him. In some ways I'm a little unsure where this relationship will go because I read so much on how Pisces men can pull the disappearing acts often and play mind games. Also, long distance relationships won't work with them.

Here's my question:

I've done a natal chart on both of us:

Me:
Ascendant - Scorpio
Sun - Cancer
Moon - Pisces
Mercury - Cancer
Venus - Gemini
Mars - Virgo
Jupiter - Virgo
Saturn - Virgo
Uranus - Scorpio
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Libra

Him:
Ascendant - Unknown (don't know his birth time)
Sun - Pisces
Moon - Virgo
Mercury - Pisces
Venus - Aries
Mars - Virgo
Jupiter - Virgo
Saturn - Virgo
Uranus - Scorpio
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Libra

1. What does this mean? Are we compatible?

I'm not solely using astrology to determine if this relationship will blossom, but just want to get an understanding of the type of person that I'm dealing with. My previous marriage was to a Leo and it was not good.

It's been 3 months.
You have been intimate and continue to talk.
Within this time have you both discussed what you want out of this relationship?

No, we haven't. I want to initiate it but I'm afraid that it's not what he wants. In a way I want to leave it up to him to approach me. My friends say it's way too early to have this kind of discussion and that I should wait until the 5 or 6 month mark to have that talk.

I agree with your friends. Have fun for now.Dont pressure him into anything because he might disappear on you...Relax and take it one day at a time and after the 6 month mark you can let him know you wanna be exclusive and if that's not what he wants you can take your leave from the union. DON'T put him on a pedestal,have your life DONT make him your everything and don't become emotionally attached at the hip to him.That will scare him off...

Goodluck! I hope it works out for you.

Thanks. I don't mind taking things slow. When I get the feeling like I really want to talk to him, I just try to focus on something else and wait until he calls or texts me. We talk everyday so that's a good indicator.

Posted by snlee

I just try to focus on something else and wait until he calls or texts me.

That is the exact opposite of what you should actually do.

But, your fellow Cancers (who are as equally manipulative as you) counselled you to play with the feelings, rather than actually live them .... so, this response of yours isn't surprising - to speak out of both sides of your mouth at the same time.

But then, you don't get it ... so, I'll HAVE to put it to you simpler.

To (say) that you're going to carry on with your life, while your (actions) are not carrying on, rather waiting is passive aggressive, and deceptive.

There's no point in instructing you on what you should actually do because you've already decided that the relationship is controlled by your decisions and actions. aka: manipulations

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by snlee

I just try to focus on something else and wait until he calls or texts me.

That is the exact opposite of what you should actually do.

But, your fellow Cancers (who are as equally manipulative as you) counselled you to play with the feelings, rather than actually live them .... so, this response of yours isn't surprising - to speak out of both sides of your mouth at the same time.

But then, you don't get it ... so, I'll HAVE to put it to you simpler.

To (say) that you're going to carry on with your life, while your (actions) are not carrying on, rather waiting is passive aggressive, and deceptive.

There's no point in instructing you on what you should actually do because you've already decided that the relationship is controlled by your decisions and actions. aka: manipulations

click to expand

Can you point out where I counselled her to manipulate this dude?

You're right, it was only one other Cancer.

Posted by P-Angel

You're right, it was only one other Cancer.

Yes that would be me.

The extremely manipulative CrabRiot!

I stand by everything I tell the O.P because I know I'm right.
Pisces are equally as manipulative if not more so spare me snd everybody else with your shit.

I gave the advice, if O.P wanna take it fine but if she don't that's fine too but I know it's good advice that was given.

Don't pressure him with commitment so fast.
Let things flow freely, relax and enjoy each other's company..and NEVER put him on a pedestal.

If he hasn't asked to be exclusive after a few months, then you let him know that you wanna be exclusive and if he doesn't want that, then go about your your business and go find someone that doesn't want to play games.

@ P-Angel: Though I appreciate your comment, I am far from manipulative. When I said that "I try to focus on something else and wait until he calls or texts me" that's not being manipulative....that's acting like I have some kind of sense about me and that I have a life outside of him. We text each other throughout the day that we are thinking of each other, I want him to know that I have a life outside of this relationship too. As women don't we want to appear that a man is not the sole focus in our lives? I also think about it like this, if call every single time I think about him that would be a whole lot of phone calls. Why that may not bother some people to do that, I don't want to come off as being needy or clingy in just 3-1/2 months of knowing him. He would probably swim away quickly....you feel me?

@ LunarMaiden: We haven't had a discussion about our relationship. Every time I think about having the talk with him I get a little nervous. I don't want to pour all my feelings out to him at once and face a rejection. I want this relationship to progress naturally and I want him to want a relationship as much as I do. I don't want it to be one-sided. :-)

@ CrabRiot: I'm not going to pressure him with a commitment, I think the best thing to do is let this ride naturally. I'll be flying up north to see him in a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to spending time with him and continuing to get to know him. :-)

Yes, I feel you ... I feel that your intentions are dishonest and manipulative.

You believe that you control him/the relationship with your actions - manipulation.

However, because you are a Cancer, it's inherent to be deceitful in this aspect, so you're not going to recognize these actions in you.

Posted by snlee

1. I try to focus on something else and wait until he calls or texts me - that's acting like I have some kind of sense about me and that I have a life outside of him.

2. As women don't we want to appear that a man is not the sole focus in our lives?

3. if call every single time I think about him that would be a whole lot of phone calls. .... I don't want to come off as being needy or clingy

4. He would probably swim away quickly

1. It's just acting. If you have to try to focus on something else, while acting it out to him so he won't realize what you're doing is fake, and it's manipulative. There's a difference between having a life outside and acting like you do.

2. So, by your own admission, you just want to appear to be certain way with intentions of giving him a false impression. You are manipulating the situation so that he will believe you are a way that you appear to be, via acting. There's a difference between the man not being sole focus in your life and giving the appearance that you are.

3. If you do want to call him every time you think about him, then you are needy and clingy. For to not do it because you want to give him the impression that you aren't thinking it, is a deception and an act.

4. And again, you end it with the ultimate statement of manipulation ... your actions are contingent upon how you want him to react/respond to you. You don't without holding 1,2,3 because they are the right things for a decent woman of values to do. You do it because you want a particular reaction out of him.

You only do any of these things because you want to control his reactions. You've stated a couple times, as has the other Cancer - your only intention in any of the things stated is with intentions of creating a false image in his mind of who you are and how you act, to prevent him from seeing the real you.

Since you only do it to prevent him from seeing the real you, the real you must be:

1. your not focused outside of him (since you have to make him believe you aren't)
2. sin

Since you only do it to prevent him from seeing the real you, the real you must be:

1. your not focused outside of him (since you have to make him believe you aren't)
2. since you want to make yourself to APPEAR a particular way, it means you aren't that way and so you have to act it out
3. you want to call him every time you think of him, which means you are needy and clingy - since you have to make him believe you aren't that way

You have zero clue, considering you state to Crabriot that you are letting this ride out naturally, when in reality, there's nothing natural about anything you've confirmed were your intentions.

I don't have any dishonest and/or manipulative intentions. I really like this guy. Controlling? Um.....no. I'm not sure how I can control anything being that we live in two separate states. There's not much room to be manipulative. You said "because you are a Cancer, it's inherent to be deceitful in this aspect"........so let me get this straight......Cancers (you're speaking of all Cancers) are dishonest in relationships? We're master manipulators huh?

There's not a reaction that I'm wanting to get from him. Heck, we stay 12 hours apart, how is me manipulating him for a certain reaction going to benefit us. I don't even play around like that! The only thing I want to see from him is genuine interest, i.e. text, phone calls, FaceTime, because I'm genuinely interested in him. I text him all the time. There's not a day that goes by that we don't talk. That in itself is not manipulating the situation. He knows how much I want to see him and want to spend time with him. He knows that if we lived closer to each other, I would see him a lot lol. Being needy and clingy is not going to do anything for us because this is a LDR. Just because I feel like being needy and clingy sometimes doesn't mean that I have to act on it and furthermore, that certainly doesn't mean that I'm deceiving him by not showing him that side of me. I don't believe that people are able to really hide who they are. If I was hiding my true self from him, I believe with all my heart that he will see it sooner or later.