Skooterz
@Skooterz
14 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 5 · Topics: 3
Can I get my Cancer BF back?
lol
So, your head games came back to bite you in the ass and you now act like you're hurt —
So, your head games came back to bite you in the ass and you now act like you're hurt —
So this dude is moodier than all hells and wrapping you in his insecurities and you want him back? That's a bit masochistic, no? So you drunk text an ex as a way out? You can do without him, you can stand on your own two feet. That's my suggestion.
@ Maddy Thanks. I kind of stopped, and he unblocked me from FB. :/ But then I texted him once like a couple hours ago asking if he was awake so hopefully that won't mess it up. but okay I'll stop all together. But this is the first time I played a head game with him I was just past the point of being able to keep it together. Have you ever been accused on a daily basis of cheating or liking someone or lieing about something when REALLY you are completely being 110% faithful. Like I dropped some guy friends for him.
@ venusianbull yeah, I feel like you're right too. I would and want to deal with this for him...but I know I won't be able to all my life :/ Masochistic? Maybe. I guess I never thought about it...:/ Maybe that was my way out? I dont know I was really drunk. But still....I just want him back :/
@ venusianbull yeah, I feel like you're right too. I would and want to deal with this for him...but I know I won't be able to all my life :/ Masochistic? Maybe. I guess I never thought about it...:/ Maybe that was my way out? I dont know I was really drunk. But still....I just want him back :/
Oh, and trust me I wrote to my ex-ex and told him I didnt mean it and he replyed back he figured cuz he heard how much I was in love with this guy (cancer ex) still and not only that my ex ex lives 500 miles away
I'm sure some would disagree with me, but I look at it this way. If you are unhappy a lions share of the time, and truly unhappy, it's not worth it to yourself. Every relationship has good times and bad but if the crap outweighs the good times, the joy; things need worked on if possible. I'd say realistically shoot for 80/20. Obviously this takes two people. One cannot sustain a relationship alone. In that case abandon ship. Even though it sucks. It hurts, and badly. There is a breaking through though. The heart does heal. If it comes down to breaking things off you will be alright. May not seem so, but you will be.
If a partner hurts and someone else must bear the brunt of things this falls into one not dealing with their own issues, and at the same time the other being an enabler. One who puts up with this and allows themself to spiral down into a person not feeling their own worth. Even to the point of believing the projection of the other. Internalizing it and accepting it as their own truth. That isn't healthy, on both parts.
We put up with much because we love, but not all love is necessarily good for us or right. I am not telling you to give up on your relationship. You know what you will and will not deal with; just giving you a little swat in the right direction for yourself. I wish you the best of luck. 🙂
If a partner hurts and someone else must bear the brunt of things this falls into one not dealing with their own issues, and at the same time the other being an enabler. One who puts up with this and allows themself to spiral down into a person not feeling their own worth. Even to the point of believing the projection of the other. Internalizing it and accepting it as their own truth. That isn't healthy, on both parts.
We put up with much because we love, but not all love is necessarily good for us or right. I am not telling you to give up on your relationship. You know what you will and will not deal with; just giving you a little swat in the right direction for yourself. I wish you the best of luck. 🙂
1. You were screwed from the beginning simply b/c he's insecure. Meaning you could've done everything RIGHT & yet he still not trust you
2. Constantly having to show an insecure person proof that you're loyal to them is a dead end street b/c 9 times out of 10, they've got their minds made up that they'll still not trust you even if you passed their tests. Plus it only further enables them to continue being insecure
3. The WORST way to get an insecure person to trust you is to do the very thing they accused you of. It's tacky to use the "Well you kept accusing me of it so I just finally did it" excuse b/c as you're seeing now, doing that only made it worse. If he didn't believe you when you were being honest, it's unrealistic to expect him to believe a word you say now that you've admitted to being dishonest about the 1 thing he fears most
4. Let's say he finally gives in & believes you. Know that something else will resurface all over again later on down the road.
5. You guys are spending more time trying to have a relationship instead of just peacefully having one.
6. Stop taking his insecurities so personal. He had trust issues way before you came along, by his own admittion. It's NOT you, it's him.
7. He needs to understand that if he's too insecure to handle a relationship, he doesn't need to be in one vs. signing up for something he's not ready for only to make you suffer all b/c of something someone else did
8. If he's focused on making sure you let go of the past & the people in it, he oughta take his OWN advice & do the same. He'd feel alot better if he'd just let the past go
9. Leave him alone. Insecure people seldom change just b/c you beg them to. No matter how good of a woman you are to him, he won't be able to fully comprehend that b/c his insecurities far OUTWEIGH any trust he has for you. It's true: People who don't trust themselves never trust other people. And they never will until they can FIRST learn to trust themselves
10. Get back with him when he's gotten his insecurities/issues straightened out. You have nothing to lose by taking a break & allowing him to realize how much he's sabotaging his own happiness. But you have everything to lose by staying around & allowing your self-esteem & heart to take a huge blow all over something HE can control (not you)
2. Constantly having to show an insecure person proof that you're loyal to them is a dead end street b/c 9 times out of 10, they've got their minds made up that they'll still not trust you even if you passed their tests. Plus it only further enables them to continue being insecure
3. The WORST way to get an insecure person to trust you is to do the very thing they accused you of. It's tacky to use the "Well you kept accusing me of it so I just finally did it" excuse b/c as you're seeing now, doing that only made it worse. If he didn't believe you when you were being honest, it's unrealistic to expect him to believe a word you say now that you've admitted to being dishonest about the 1 thing he fears most
4. Let's say he finally gives in & believes you. Know that something else will resurface all over again later on down the road.
5. You guys are spending more time trying to have a relationship instead of just peacefully having one.
6. Stop taking his insecurities so personal. He had trust issues way before you came along, by his own admittion. It's NOT you, it's him.
7. He needs to understand that if he's too insecure to handle a relationship, he doesn't need to be in one vs. signing up for something he's not ready for only to make you suffer all b/c of something someone else did
8. If he's focused on making sure you let go of the past & the people in it, he oughta take his OWN advice & do the same. He'd feel alot better if he'd just let the past go
9. Leave him alone. Insecure people seldom change just b/c you beg them to. No matter how good of a woman you are to him, he won't be able to fully comprehend that b/c his insecurities far OUTWEIGH any trust he has for you. It's true: People who don't trust themselves never trust other people. And they never will until they can FIRST learn to trust themselves
10. Get back with him when he's gotten his insecurities/issues straightened out. You have nothing to lose by taking a break & allowing him to realize how much he's sabotaging his own happiness. But you have everything to lose by staying around & allowing your self-esteem & heart to take a huge blow all over something HE can control (not you)
11. You have a choice. You can either accept that even if you do everything right & go out of your way to prove yourself that he still may NOT ever believe you or trust you OR..
You can make the choice to not take that chance, stop somehow finding ways to blaim yourself for insecurities that were planted long before he even met you & tell him to call you when he gets his ish together
When a person as insecure as him is having a "moment," nothing you do/say will help or make them feel better b/c they've got their minds made up that you're not worthy of their trust. That is only something HE can undo.
And if the relationship was ever worth it, you wouldn't have to damn near kill yourself just to make him realize something that he's already decided not to want to acknowledge.
Stop wasting your time & allowing yourself to become drained so much.
While it's loyal that you love him & want to stick by him through the "thick and thin," also understand that doing that for the WRONG person or while you're in the wrong relationship to begin with, only causes more problems & results in you resenting both him & yourself after you've realized how much energy/time/breath was wasted over something that wasn't gonna change
You can make the choice to not take that chance, stop somehow finding ways to blaim yourself for insecurities that were planted long before he even met you & tell him to call you when he gets his ish together
When a person as insecure as him is having a "moment," nothing you do/say will help or make them feel better b/c they've got their minds made up that you're not worthy of their trust. That is only something HE can undo.
And if the relationship was ever worth it, you wouldn't have to damn near kill yourself just to make him realize something that he's already decided not to want to acknowledge.
Stop wasting your time & allowing yourself to become drained so much.
While it's loyal that you love him & want to stick by him through the "thick and thin," also understand that doing that for the WRONG person or while you're in the wrong relationship to begin with, only causes more problems & results in you resenting both him & yourself after you've realized how much energy/time/breath was wasted over something that wasn't gonna change
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